Summer Travel: airberlin to Germany

[October 27, 2017]....NOTE TO READERS: airberlin has ceased flying. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Okay, so where am I?

Have you ever been in the middle of a fairly tale?

Where can you plan a trip that could indulge you in ways you never thought is possible?

There’s a place on earth that has created controversies at its highest level in history, yet oozes uniqueness in its recent transformation to a young city with free spirit.

It’s Germany, a country that has navigated future away from the past and lifted its consciousness to a worldly attraction. Sometimes, it’s easy to pigeonhole a country, tying it a bleak existence that was once a reviled nation. That reality is about as far in the rearview as a land can be these days.

Brandenburg Gate: The Berlin Wall once stood in front.

Germany is lush with some of the world’s hidden gem cities. Many should never be missed. Berlin, Düsseldorf, Wiesbaden, and Schwangau.

Although we know Germany was rebuilt with a brilliant combination of efficiency, innovation, and intelligence, it seemed to have risen from the ashes as if by magic. No wonder why Walt Disney’s Imagineering mind brought the splendor of Schwangau’s Neuschwanstein Castle back to Southern California as the inspiration for the Sleeping Beauty Castle at “The Happiest Place on Earth.” The place has that magic (more on that later…).

Before you do experience any of this, you need to get there. If you’re anything like the Media Guy, you’ll agree that flying anywhere these days is quite the drag. One of the most important parts of your travel planning is picking the right airline. After trying it out, I have to tell you that airberlin’s business class service from Los Angeles to Düsseldorf is the essential element to getting there with style and hospitality.

Whether you are on a business trip or planning for a holiday getaway to Germany, flying airberlin sets the stage for a fantastic adventure. Germany's tourism numbers are up for the sixth year in a row. As one of the 480 million visitors to the county every year, you have plenty of options to get you there and it just so happens that airberlin is my new fave.

Why is that you ask?

Simply, business class on airberlin is an unbeatable journey as one of the most refreshing and rewarding times you can have thousands of feet in air. Once you reach a certain point in your life, the mad airport scramble is simply unacceptable. That’s one thing we really liked about airberlin: the smooth efficiency you would expect from a German airline is evident. Gate check-in, personal ushering from the business class lounge to the gate, timely boarding, and then addressing you by name in your seat—all nice touches.

During the almost 11-hour flight, there were cocktails, fluffy pillows, designer toiletries and, of course, the thing you want the most in business class, seats that recline all the way. If you’ve never indulged, once you push that recline button and keep it down until you are fully extended, you’ll finally understood why that extra cash is worth it.

A pod built for comfort and work...

Want more? Here are some of my top reasons to splurge:

1. You can work: I’m note sure about you, but carrying around designer headphones can get pricey and that’s not to mention the risk of loss or breakage. In airberlin’s business class cabin, every seat comes with a lush pair of headphones that immerses you in a vast selection of tunes that range from classical to rock to popular. Your seat, or should I say, space, puts the business in business class. There’s an abundance of legroom for any working position, a Swiss army-type table with shelves, pockets, charging stations for your tablet, smartphone, and laptop. 
2. Three-Course Fine Dining: Business class meals are a far cry from the foil-covered trays you get in economy class. We’re talking a three-course gourmet meal with a chilled vorspeise (appetizer), salad, a choice of three entrees, a dessert/cheese course and the aforementioned wine service. And as if that weren’t fancy enough, there’s even metal cutlery, actual china, real glasses, and white tablecloth service.
3. Wunderkind: We all know flying wrecks mayhem on our appearance. For all us beauty-obsessed travelers, the airberlin business class ticket comes with a lovely black 'culture and hygiene' bag containing high-end Wunderkind accessories. The chic kits include: Wunderkind lip balm and facial moisturizer, plush sleeping mask, toothbrush and socks. Yep, my bag still goes with me on every trip.
4. Real Dreams: I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve resorted to a sleeping pill to get through a flight. Turns out, a fluffy pillow, eye mask, the best airline slippers ever (yes, I still wear mine around the house) and a fully articulating 180-degree flatbed seat go a long way to get some rest in after finishing that deadline project and a fine meal.
5. Dreamy Wines: An hour into our flight, I was swaddled in a lush blanket watching a Bill Murray movie with gratis luxury headphones, with a bowlful of fine nuts at my fingertips. To say I was in the clouds and not worried about the seven projects due before landing was an understatement. But then the wine menu came around. Did I want the 2016 Kaapzicht Cuvee Anna White or the 2014 Chateau de Capitoul Syrah Grenache Charles Mock? Uhm, both please! Right about then is when I started fantasizing that the flight would never end.
6. The Ultimate Vacation: When I’m on a flight, I want 100% relaxation time. The unwinding time that business class travel gives is just what I needed to get me away from my daily non-stop energy push. To unwind is to reboot my system so my creative work and responsibilities operate at maximum speed. On our flight, I was given a “Caribbean getaway” right from my seat. With my headphones plugged into therapeutic music, I felt my wings filling with air, flying to that state of mind where nothing existed but ultimate vacation time. The quiet and friendly atmosphere translated to a spirit of luxury service. Inside, I was awakened to a delightful bite and a romantic voice preparing me for the landing. I could not believe how fast time passed and how incredible I felt preparing for a journey of a lifetime.

So, as they say on board, “Angenehmen Aufenthalt an Bord! (Have a pleasant flight!)”

Business Class Menu

Vorspeise / Appetizer

Fresh Garden Salad with Parmesan Shavings
Crôutons and Balsamic Dressing

Wild Mushroom Terrine with a delicate Quinoa Gemüsesalat
Salad and Dijon Mustard Sauce

Nordic Midsummer Salmon with a fine
Honey-Mustard Dressing and a Latvian Potato Salad

Heißes Gericht zur Auswahl / Your Choice of Hot Dish

Chicken Breast in a creamy Pepper Sauce with
Mustard flavoured Mashed Potates and creamed Leeks

Slow cooked Beef with Rosemary Jus, Polenta,
Ratatouille and Edamame Beans

Fillet of Cod in fine Tarragon Sauce on black
Beluga Lentil with and yellow and red Carrot Cubes

Nachtisch / Dessert

Cappachino Mascarpone Tart

Semi-hard Cheese with Raspberry-Mustard Crust
And Dofino Cream Cheese

Lindt Chocolates!

Awesome Slippers (See #4).

Wunderkind (see #3).

Dreamy Wines (see #5)

Ms. Emmy: YOU KNOW HOW TO PARTY!

Oh my lovely giant Emmy statuette. I flirted with you all night and after all that you went home with a hundred or so other writers, producers, actors, and actresses. And this morning, there you are. Face down after a wild night of partying and rubbing elbows with the television elite. Most of us would take the long walk of shame home, heads bowed, shirts inside out, one sock or sticking missing. But here's the thing...walk of shame is only shameful if you let it be. So here’s how to turn that walk of shame into a stride of pride...

1) Before you tuck yourself back in that box for 300 plus days of hibernation, remember how much fun the night before was. You wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to. And let's be clear Ms. Emmy: YOU KNOW HOW TO PARTY!

2) Hold your head high, shoulders back, and strut your stuff. Yeah, you had fun. Yeah, the next door neighbor might already know that. But who cares? They know already. There’s nothing to be ashamed of because next year they will be fighting to take you home again.

3. Enjoy the morning breeze. If you’re in last night’s golden party dress and you’re holding your heels as you walk barefoot, don’t let it stop you from enjoying the refreshing morning breeze. Breathe it in, and let it clear away any potential hangover. Look around and enjoy the manufactured beauty of downtown LA and the LA Live complex. They'll be talking about last night for the next year.......Hold your head high Ms. Emmy. You're still my favorite lady.

So okay, you already know where I am...

A happy Game of Thrones cast as their 34 Emmy wins.

I'm at the Microsoft Theatre in Downtown LA taking in the 68th Emmy Awards and snacking on a PB&J sandwich presumably made by Jimmy Kimmel's mom.

I was expecting more Beyoncé as was a disappointed John Oliver:

"I thought Beyoncé was gonna be here. I saw a seating chart and I was supposed to be sitting two rows behind her and I was going to stare at her head and experience happiness in a way I haven’t felt before … so this evening is a bit disappointing."

Jerry Seinfeld spoke out—in true Seinfeld-esque wit—about the current state of television: "I don't know why I'm here, I'm not on television. My show's on the Internet, but now they consider that television."

Meanwhile Bryan Cranston did his best to convince the TV bigwigs that he should take on the role of Donald Trump, "I think it'd be huuuuuuuge."

James Corden shared his insider paparazzi tips to take the best photos "I try to suck in my cheekbones. If you ever see me and it looks like I'm in a mood, it's not because I'm being moody."

In the Emmy lobby, people moaned about the 'dry' Emmys. Every star under the sun was inside the Microsoft Theater, but the one thing all of that star power can't get inside the room is booze. The Voice host Carson Daly walked out to the lobby, Emmy in hand, and yelled to the bartender, "You guys selling beer out here?" Daly turned, disappointed and walked away. Iwan Rheon (Ramsay Bolton on Game of Thrones) also lost his mind berating a would-be bartender—life immitates art. Sorry boys, those juice boxes are all you got.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Emmy win breaks the record. By winning the Emmy—her sixth for lead actress in a comedy, and her eighth Emmy overall—the Veep star broke the record for most lead actress wins, breaking the three-way tie she held with Candice Bergen and Mary Tyler Moore.

Well, that's all I overheard. After all I was there to flirt with the Emmy statuette and take pictures...so without further ado, here are the pics...

Red Carpet and Winners Gallery

Tori Kelly with my favorite picture of the night.

There was a lot of kissing - part one with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Jimmy Kimmel's mom must have had writer's cramp after penning 7,000 letters.

Cranston as Trump?

Jimmy Fallon crashed Corden's interview. Ham!

There was a lot of kissing- part two with Patton Oswald.

Priyanka Chopra knows how to work the photo pit.

Yes, Sarah Paulson did have her lady engraved with Marcia Clark's name on it!

Tatiana Maslany all smiles with her Emmy!

There was a lot of kissing - part three with Key and Peele.

The Governors Ball transformeds the L.A. Convention Center with over 700 floral arrangements.

Intolerable Sarcasm featuring Stupid Tourism Ads

Jeez, I didn't know my sarcastic reaction to Emirates Airlines' Hello Tomorrow advertising would ripple through Dubai all the way to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, aka the DPRK.

First Chairman of the National Defense Commission of the DPRK, First Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army, and Father of Dragons (I made that last one up!) Kim Jong-un has outlawed sarcasm, a method of satirical wit that has long plagued the esteemed workers of the great North Korea.

He really did ban it, reportedly because he was getting sick of people agreeing with him “ironically.” The Twitterverse was aglow with this unexpected gift from our friend in Asia, my favorite being:

On a related noted, there's apparently some truth that the paranoid leader plans to call The Simpsons to enforce his well-thought ban with this little baby:

The ban makes me wonder if this tourism ad is real or a the actual hoax that spurred Kim to consider if his people take him seriously:

Dear Kim Jong-un...you might want to click away from this column because it's all sarcasm, all of the time from here on out as I look at some of the tourism ads I've stumbled across recently.

It's a pretty sad lot. I am sure you will agree. (And to the folks at Emirates Airlines, I didn't touch one of your ming-boggling advertisements!) So, like I did last week, let's jump into some of the ads and see what's game-changing and what's not...

"Arrive Beautifully" ad - Virgin America

REACTION: Listen, I really don't mean to keep picking on airlines for their wacko ads (and honestly, I'm going to be the victim of a random strip search if I'm allowed on Emirates or Virgin America again), but WTF is going on this flight from New York to San Francisco? Was she late for her plane after a long Sunday Morning Walk of Shame because her Studio 54 cocktail dress was riding up too much? Is she back on the hunt while blowdrying her hair and flirting with the guy in seat 2C? All I can say to Virgin America is you can expect a column in the near future devoted to your hallucinogenic magenta and purple advertisements. And to the guy in seat 2C, Joe Namath called from 1971 and wants his Dingo Boots back:

"Cuff Links" ad - Elysian Hotel, Chicago

REACTION: Why do ads for most independent luxury hotel brands always seem to feature the same catalogue-model-perfect multi-racial looking dude, dressed in tailored suit, armed with every hipster accessory he can carry? Also, why does said hipster need to flaunt the fact he would rather be riding his skateboard instead of zooming in his $140,000 sports car down Lakeshore Drive with companion of his choice? Thank goodness Hilton Hotels and Waldorf Astoria bought this property. Hopefully they'll change this disaster of an advertising campaign.

"A new surprises at every step" ad - Himachal Pradesh, India

REACTION: It's not so much that Mary and her little lamb have been oddly-Photoshopped into this ad with a passenger train roaring toward her that bothers me. What strikes me as as truly odd is that if children walking around the Himalayas is a thing in North India, the ad agency could have hired an actual girl for a few rupees. And what of the poorly-worded slogan? I don't want to typo-shame anyone (goodness knows I need 10 proofreads and there are still mistakes in my writing) but "A new surprises at every step" is an automatic hall of shame inductee. Skip the five-year waiting period. You're in!

"Some Guests Jut Don't Want to Go Home" - Swiss Deluxe Hotels

REACTION: That's not creepy or anything. All that's missing is the call to the BAU Unit in Criminal Minds in the next scene. Aside from that, I really don't know about sleeping in a room where the headboard table lamps are an inch away from the ceiling. Note to Swiss Deluxe Hotels: We don't want creepers stowing away in our freshly cleaned rooms and ceilings lower than seven feet. Check and check.

"Forget about work for a while" ad - PST Travel

REACTION: Why doesn't the ad just say, "Let it burn Mr. Fireman!" Meanwhile the old guy with the dog is on fire, the little girl's hair is on fire, and the guy in the Dodgers hat is also on fire. All I can think of is the stupidity of the people who conceived this one. If Donald Trump were evaluating this ad in The Apprentice boardroom he'd be screaming "You're Fired!" until his face turned purple.

"Those Who Know How To Live..."- Trump Hollywood

REACTION: Speaking of Trump...How about this Trump Hollywood ad? Look closely at the silver-haired fox who escaped from the bathtub in the Levitra ad. Is he scoping out the view of the beach or the view of his much-too-young wife. I get that ad - geared to the one-percenters who need a weekend getaway to escape the Financial District of Manhattan in Florida. But when I look at the these two who probably boarded their environment-raping private plane, primed for a weekend of bourgeois leisure and throw up a bit in my own mouth.

"We do everything for the perfect holiday" ad - Switzerland

REACTION: I looked at this ad maybe 101 times and I have nothing. Not a word speechless. I am completely clueless on what's going on in the Swiss Alps with a guy and his tools and a line of cows.

"See Asia Like Asians Do" ad - Multipass Travel Agency

REACTION: Simply the most racist ad I've ever seen.

"Firefly Sticks to You" ad - Firefly Airlines

REACTION: I thought sexist airline ads were a thing of the past. Last year when Nikki Minaj took my seat in business class, I covered a bunch of misogynistic ads from days past. It seems that one of those Mad Men can muster up some SMH ad concepts when this one hit the travel magazine pages. Based on what I see, the Firefly flight attendant's derrière is half off. Is that before you land or after? Needless to say, I'm not the only one who was offended. Facing mounting pressure, Firefly deleted the ads from its Facebook page and made a public apology:

The Commandments of Business Bar Meetings

Drinking = new business, for better or for worse.

And the managing director said,

"Let there be drinks."

And there were drinks.

And from these drinks,

the Sales Guy closed the account at the bar.

And the Creatives were given dominion

over all things upon this account

and the power to choose

between scandalous and informative.

And so goes the evolution of a media account...

At the core of any deal is networking. It really is who you know and many times not what you know. But if you aren't in the know, then sealing a deal requires a deft gift of gab and a social setting befitting of the client you are seeking.

These fifteen, er, ten commandments...

The years of drinking your way to the top created these fifteen ten commandments:

1. Thou Shall Not Be Careless.
Being careless is inexcusable. Spilling an entire drink on oneself is an automatic loss. Game over. This applies at all times. If you do it, just excuse yourself and go home.

2. Thou Shall Provide Comfort.
Comfort Counts. I read this study that Harvard, Yale and MIT conducted and it said that people in a hard wooden chair held out for more discounts that those in cushioned seating. If you have to, take some splinters for the team.

3. Thou Shall (Wo)Man Up.
Be strong on your drink selection. Don't be a copy cat. "I'll have the same" is weak sauce. Order your own drink.

4. Thou Shall Make Good Choices. 
Your drink cocktail shall be clear or brown. This is serious stuff. Say it with a good drink choice. All brown or clear drinks are serious drinks.

5. Thou Shall Have Good Posture.
all business meetings are confrontations of a sort. Square up. Even if it seems friendly, even if it's with a colleague. Sit tall and with pride. Sitting up straight is evidence that you have a backbone. It is also evidence that you're not so wasted you can't do the actual business you invited your counterpart to conduct.

6. Thou Shall Treat Thy Servants Properly.
The employees are there to serve you, but you should never act like they are there to serve you. Respect the bartender...and the host...and the cocktail server...and your neighbors at the next table...and the valet...and the restroom attendant. (Whaaaaat? the place you chose doesn't have a restroom attendant? Pick a better place!) Why all the respect? Because for this night, these are your assistants. They are your people. YOUR PEEPS. You want the bar to be more yours than your counterpart's.

7. You Shall Not Commit Murder.
Don't kill your night with hesitation. Hesitation kills the momentum of your night...in a flash. When ordering a drink, never hesitate. Don't review a menu. Don't read that fancy black chalkboard that the host spent forty-five minutes and seven pieces of chalk to build. You know what you like. Order it. Refer to Commandment Four when in doubt. Why? Well, you shouldn't waste time if in the conference room. Don't do it at the bar.

Commandment 10.

8. Thou Shall Focus.
Put that damned iPhone away. Yeah, yeah, I know, we all love our smartphones, our Candy Crush and seeing what Susan is eating on Instagram. But for an hour or two, put it in your pocket. Look your guest in the eye the entire time. When you don't look someone in the eyes, it shows you have an agenda other than the bond of the night. It also shows an inclination that you can be intimidated or lying. Practice that eye contact.

9. Thou Shall Arrive Early.
Everything should happen sooner than expected. Get there first. Order first. Introduce your business earlier than appropriate. Wrap things up faster than seems suitable. When you do things early, you have control. Control is a virtue. Your virtue.

10. Thou Shall Take Notes...on a napkin.
You might brand it as, but taking notes on a napkin is cool. Tell your guest(s) that five years from now you can all say, "It all started by writing it down on a bar napkin."

More from the Media Guy on Drinking:

The Media Guy Struggles: Drink Like a Mad Man
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The Media Guy Struggles: Making it at a Media Party
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The Media Guy Struggles: Eight Ways to Toast Globally
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