Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Virtually Live From Paris with Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model

From the New York Times: “…the city has a centuries-old tradition of solo exploration, personified by the flâneur, or stroller. Flânerie is, in its purest form, a goal-less pursuit, though for some it evolved into a purposeful art: Walking and observing became a method of understanding a city, an age. Baudelaire described the flâneur as a passionate spectator, one who was fond of ‘botanizing on the asphalt,’ as the essayist Walter Benjamin would later put it.”
Okay, so where am I?

Whelp, I'm not in Paris, but in a few paragraphs we will be transported there...hang tight.

Actually, I am still home in the beautiful confines of my Encino California Compound. Other that to get my mail, bread, and fresh fruit, I have been sequestered here riding out the Coronavirus since the Los Angeles-mandated prohibition started two weeks ago on my birthday.

In addition to missing out on a pretty stellar Disneyland birthday, I had two Japanese commercials wiped out because of the travel ban (postponed, not cancelled) and now I am having NBA and NHL withdrawals along with some severe cabin fever. Thank goodness— along with my family, friends and colleagues—I am safe.

I was planning to meet Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model, because the last time I spoke with her she was at the Baghdad Café lamenting bout trying to due her clothesless craft amongst families and kids roaming around the tourist trap over two years ago. But with all of the city shutdowns, we had to cancel and move to a video conference to catchup. Ah, the new world of “Stay At Home” work and friendships.

So just to catch you up—or you can scroll all the way down to end and read the previous columns— Margrét is a nude model who travels the world taking her clothes off in the pursuit of her art. It’s never going to make her rich, but it makes her happy and a happy Margrét makes the world a better place…

Media Guy: You usually stick close to the Western USA, but is it true you are stuck outside the country?

Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model: I would say luckily I was in France when all of the Coronavirus lockdows and travel bans went into effect, but Paris is a drag without all of the cuisine and museums and sights.But I’m making the best of it trying to go all Hemingway with my introspective writing at abandoned city sites soaking in the essence of the land.

MG: What were you up to before for the country ground to a halt?

MMNFAM: I was doing my thing with this self-photography exhibition on the French Countryside when, well, imagine four dudes breaking down 300 meters from my camera lens in their big Mercedes hauler. Now imagine then not knowing how to fix their hauler and I roll up on them to help. Except I wasn’t wearing more than a Nikon lens cover! I bet they never expected help to come in the form of an intrepid nude model.

MG: But I imagine that’s exactly what happened, right? And how did you pull that off?

MMNFAM: Imagine the look on these French bros' faces when a second nude model, my roommate, rolled up in an Aston Martin with a back seat full of tools. I'm telling you, it was like MacGyver met French Baywatch. The only thing mission was were our red one-piece swimsuits so that we could have run over in slow motion. I’m guessing they were fairly pleased with two mostly nude chicks fixing their timing belts while the fought to keep their jaws from dropping.

MG: I’ve often wondered about the fine line you’re walking when it comes to nude modeling because some of the readers say you are reinforcing sexist stereotypes of scantily clad women (or unclad) women on film.

MMNFAM: It's what I battle with on a regular basis with my modeling, because what is considered arty can be pretty hokey and sexist. But I figure God blessed me with a certain look and I get to control my destiny with what I charge and the situations I ultimately wind up in. At the end of the day, it’s a more honest living that some of the mucky-mucks in banking or on Wall Street.

MG: You’re doing well these days?

MMNFAM: My modeling affords me an income to support my home and my adventures. I stay off social media to avoid stalkers and weirdos and in the last five years I have shot in 31 countries. It’s a great way to make a living,

MG: What has shaped up as your specialty as of late?

MMNFAM: My specialty is artistic nudes, when translated to the layman means non-erotic nudes set in contrast against the landscapes of the world. Everyone wants this fit brunette against beautiful scenery. I love the work because it gets me outdoors. I don’t have to sit at a desk answering emails all day ad in turn I get to experience the remarkably attractive world that few ever get to see like I do. Modeling gets old pretty quick, I feel like exploring the outdoors doesn’t.

MG: What is it about the outdoors that has kept you employed all of these years?

MMNFAM: Guys will forever have a curiously mysterious hard-on for a curvy, firm backside in a ruptured landscape. I do a lot of posing in fantasy landscapes—mountains, lakes, log cabins—but the ones that garner the biggest paydays come from the most dilapidated settings like old warehouses, crumbling buildings, salt mines, abandoned parks, civil wars zones. There must be something about rotting cities that is some sort of aphrodisiac that appeals to many a photographer. The contrast of luscious nubile skin against corroded timeworn building carcasses is an age-old fantasy that will probably never go out of style. Like the Birth of Venus painting only set in Chernobyl.

MG: So your quest for post-apocalyptic ruins has taken you on a journey all over the world?

MMNFAM: With a little bit of investigating, you can find some truly extraordinary rubble to photograph and when it comes to ruin nude modeling, the Baltics and Eastern Europe are pretty much the gold standard. It’s like a Disneyland of desolation and tetanus. These areas are some that you’ve only heard about in the deep recesses of the news and now the whole region has essentially been ignored and neglected due to its being left in a state of disrepair after the boys took their weapons and petty differences and went home.

MG: And you’re finding the same in Paris?

MMNFAM: Oh no, much different here. A did a month-long series in and around Paris, fully-clothed doing a full-on Greta Garbo meets Breakfast At Tiffany’s motif. You know, it was easy to surrender in Paris to the moment. The alchemy of everything metamorphosed average activities into pleasurable ones; a stroll in the park, a cappuccino at a sidewalk café…you name it. Here, I dragged the edge of a butter knife across a baguette with a style better suited to gliding a bow across a Stratavarious. And today, with almost nobody around it is still quite the same. I am here on my own. My residence is paid for until July. I worked enough not to book another job until August and I am sponging in the city in my own post-apocalyptic illusion. In a city that has been honing splendor since the reign of Napoleon III, there are immeasurable sensual minutiae—patterns, touches, tints, hums—that can be mitigated, even overlooked, when babbling with someone or following a locked in schedule. Alone. one becomes deeply aware of the resonating clack of high heels in a park walkway; the patina of the gas lamps that light the city, the effervescence of the blue sky on a cloudless day; and how the empty wine bottles laid gently next to the recycling bins are the epitome of your neighbor’s good times.
There is a Paris that acutely repays the individual traveler.

MG: So all of this adds up to another fantastic chapter in the Book of Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model?

MMNFAM: It's a fantastic book I am living. I hope it never ends. Au revior!

---

 Previous Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model Columns:

The Summer of Superheroes and Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model
Published: July 2018 

NSFW: At the Baghdad Cafe with Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model
Published: October 2017 

Catching up with Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model
Published: March 2015 

Nude Modeling
Published: February 2014 


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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Banned Media

Okay, so where am I?

I'm hunkered down in my office disinfecting everything, including my phone, my desk, my water bottles and mugs, and even my 10-minute sand timer that's been on my various desks for thirty plus years. Yes, the coronavirus (COVID-19) hysteria has hit multiple workplaces. Yes, people are freaking out. I mean, even Costco has stopped giving out free samples and the stock market is tanking. And no, I don't have the virus and I have seldom even been susceptible to the flu. It's business as usual for me.

Or so I thought...

But now it's hitting the sports world and this Media Guy is none too happy. Most of you know that in addition to the four jobs I already have, I cover the Los Angeles Kings at various levels. One of the things I do are game recaps (here's a couple recents: vs. Colorado / vs. Minnesota / vs. Vegas). This may or may not involve locker room access, but now that's a moot point as four major sports leagues (NBA, NHL, MLB and MLS) have banned media from locker rooms due to coronavirus. The four also jointly announced that locker room access will be limited to players and essential personnel. The Professional Basketball Writers Association issued a statement saying it would temporarily comply with the ban.

Now teams aren't allowing contact with the players and the media. Some, like the Calgary Flames, are putting do not not cross lines in pre- and post-game interviews instead of the normal scrums outside lockers in the dressing rooms.


Other teams have only banned actions (handshakes, knuckles, hugs, sitting) and not actual media members...


In California, they took the outbreak a step further. Santa Clara County's Public Health Department announced today that a mandatory order requiring cancellation of "mass gatherings" of more than 1,000 people for three weeks is in effect. They put the order in place while it studies the spread of the virus. This means that the status of three San Jose Sharks games, the NCAA women's basketball tournament at Stanford, and an MLS game are in doubt. They could be playing these games in empty arenas. I remember in 1980, NBC tried a game with no announcers. But a game without fans? How surreal.

I guess that is better that canceling the outcome of an entire season where Germany's pro hockey league announced the end of its season, with no playoffs and "there is no German champion this year." Here's the official announcement (use the Google translate option to read in full).

In Italy, there are no sporting events...


The NHL's Columbus Blue Jacket are having no part of Ohio's ban on indoor events...


How will this affect the Media Guy? I'll continue to write my columns and fill in the time helping corporations who know to call me before releasing questionable content with a multi-million dollar ad campaign. So, until all of this blows over, remember this useful World Health Organization video on how to wash your hands:



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Friday, March 6, 2020

The Biz: Want to be a Good Boss? Read this....

I came into the advertising business in 1974 at the age of six. I was the manager in a department of one for my dad's side home business preparing and disseminating press releases via the United States Postal Service. I prepared envelopes sticking the 1" x 2-5/8" white labels perfectly straight on number ten sized letters, collating the news releases, stapling and folding them, then stuffing the envelopes, licking them closed and then affixing postage stamps squarely in the upper right corner. I did this after school in our Inglewood apartment that could have served as the setting for the Sidney Deane family in White Men Can't Jump without the need to change a single prop. My payment for this OSHA-violating work? Tickets to a Los Angeles Kings or Lakers game that wasn't sold out. Pretty good payday until you consider that day got those tickets for free from his wife who worked in the ticketing department of the Fabulous Forum. He always told be that this work would be the backbone of breaking into the advertising business. I can't say he was wrong.

These days, advertising and public relations is a difficult business to break into, especially if you are not connected. I worked for my dad in my early years and my dad continued his penchant for loaning out my talents for little remuneration to me. In 1989, I was farmed out to a largish New York City agency to work their accounts from the inside. I was a gun for hire. I made around $400 a week before taxes. I'm sure dad's agency made ten times that for my work. It doesn't matter now because a learned a lot and that time was the backbone of my career.

I learned about two important things at the New York agency: How to maneuver around office politics and why Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree" is the key the being a better boss. This was the early nineties and yes, the New York agencies still had an enough misogyny, alcohol, racism, and debauchery to make any modern PC'er run for the hills. It was a lot to handle if you played those reindeer games. Most everyone dabbled in the big four but no one talked about it. Luckily, I was young and not a boss or my path surely would have spiraled much faster than it did.

My boss in New York was a typical advertising lifer. Handsome and gruff with a gift for the gab, he took long lunches with junior graphics designers in short skirts and still drank multiple cocktails during the day. He liked me because I did his dirty work and covered for him effectively when the big bosses came calling. HE taught me how to soft shoe through a crisis and that losing your temper would only make things work. He also handed me a copy of "The Giving Tree" a day after I told his biggest client he was negotiating a better media rate behind closed doors instead of the truth that he was at The Plaza with the flavor of the week from the 32nd floor. He told me to memorize the words, pictures, and pages of the small, leaf-green tome.

There are many interpretations of this masterpiece with the most obvious being the wonderful lesson of generosity it literally illustrates. It’s an Aesop's fable about life and life lessons, specifically what it means to be flawed and mortal, and wise and  enlightened. He taught me that you will always have a hard working, loyal if you embraced the key teaching lessons from the book. Talent wouldn't always win the day—and most importantly, keep you employed without a good staff that had your back. Here's a few of those vital teachings...

Stop Keeping Score—Most of us have been pre-occupied with fairness, equality and justice—at home I am the self-proclaimed Commission of Fairness. It's a specialty of mine. I learned that from "The Giving Tree" because it teaches us not to tally up things up things all of the time. The tree gives in the truest form of altruism. She gives and gives and gives without ever expecting anything in return. She never asks for credit or reminds the boy of her countless sacrifices.

Know the Magic Words—The one thing the Boy in "The Giving Tree" never stops to do is say "please" or "thank you." It seems not knowing common courtesy may have been the reasons he never could find contentment. Barney the Dinosaur always said to use please and thank you. The Tree should have told the Boy that as well. Good manners are the root (pun intended) of a happy life and productive teamwork. Do you know the magic words? Excellent. Use them every day... (Please?)

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide—Life is difficult and complex. So is looking in the mirror and facing your terrors and misgivings and maddest dreams. However, if you ever find yourself so troubled with your dilemmas that you are keen—at a timeworn, shaky age—to go meandering out to sea in a makeshift canoe, it’s time to capitulate. The penultimate request from the Boy is for the Tree’s entire trunk. It always smacked me as the bluest and the saddest moment of the book, and Silverstein illustrated the bleakness so well. The lesson here is a fine one: don’t fight the waves of life in a dying vessel. Let them crash over you before you obliterate what you hold special. Remember: giving in isn’t giving up. Remember the great words of John Maynard Keynes, “The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones.”

A Picture’s Worth A Thousand Words—Silverstein has a unique method of drawing that flawlessly captures the human spirit in all its weakness and allure and immorality and eccentricity. “The Giving Tree” radiates a inimitable brand of straightforwardness. Every line is fraught with emotion, whether it’s the innocence of an untied shoelace or the speechless vacancy of the Boy’s wrinkled face as he ages, or the influential image of a infinitesimal broken man sitting on a severed tree stump, his illustrations speak loud. Louder than words. This book was one of the key lesson teachers that show me how to do presentations. My presentations are simple, yet complex through the use of imagery. It has won me awards and gotten millions of dollars of concepts greenlit over my career.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want—Mick Jagger famously sung, “You can’t always get what you want… But if you try sometime, you'll find, you get what you need…” The grass is always greener on the other side. Don’t go chasing waterfalls. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. An orchard sounds more significant than a single tree. And, after all, who wouldn’t want to actually be king instead of just pretending to be one? Unfortunately, the Boy learns this truth the hard way. After constantly asking for too many of his wants, all that’s left is too little of what he needs. Seriously, people. Know a good thing when you have it. Perfection is reserved for something celestial. Strive for greatness, but sometimes very good, is , well, great.



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Tuesday, March 3, 2020

The 43 Postcards Project: Montreal

I kicked off 2020, by adding intriguing visuals from my lifetime of travels around the world and called it the 43 Postcards Project. So far, my quest has taken me to places familiar and others remote, in 43 countries and counting, from the deep Pacific to the deserts of the Middle East to the snow-crusted landscapes of the Arctic Circle. Here, I'll share a handful or two of snapshots from each country I visit, as I saw them. Enjoy the views.

_______________

Okay, so where am I?

It was time to go north of the border to help out with some family things, but also to continue to doing research and interviews for my Kontinental Hockey League book. This time my travels took me once again to Montreal, Canada.

Maybe you don't know Montreal. Maybe you think it's that crazy city in that crazy provence that wanted to cede from Canada. Maybe you don't care at all. I do, because Montreal is the Mecca of all hockey. The home of the greatest concentration of championships in the National Hockey League. Anywhere there's hockey finds me an invites me metaphorically to explore the city and take in a game. But there's more to Montreal than just hockey.

Montreal is a city with considerable French colonial history dating back to the 16th century. It began as a missionary settlement but soon became a fur-trading center. The city’s St. Lawrence River location proved to be a major advantage in its development as a manufacturing, financial, and transportation center. Montreal was the largest metropolitan center in the country from 1867, at the time of the Confederation of Canada until Toronto overtook it in the 1970s. It stands as the second largest French-speaking city in the world (after Paris).

The city has been a immigrant destination and is widely considered to be a cosmopolitan celebration of Québécois style. Montreal remains a city of great charm, vivacity, and gaiety, as well as one of unquestioned modernity. In short, Montreal is c’est si bon.

Fans enter the Bell Centre for the Montreal Canadiens game.

Bonsecours Market in Old Montreal.

The iconic hearts sculpture outside the Musee des Beaux Arts.

Rinkside at the Montreal vs. Carolina NHL game.


Love is in the air.












The Monument à George-Étienna Cartier

Outside of Parts, Montreal has the world's finest French food.

Unique single-wind walk up stairs line the city. 

The Basilique Notre-Dame is a confection of stained glass.



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