Foreign Work

The allure of Europe for media and marketing certainly makes sense; there are so many markets looking for smooth ideas and polished programs. Unfortunately, sometimes taking your talents to the land of the Euro isn't as cushy as it sounds.

Romania's Arcul de Triumf, a replication of Paris’ Arc de Triomphe.

It seems that only a crazy person would pass up being paid to work in a profession you love while traveling around another country, the entire time being treated like a king as the local companies treats their new marketer with love.

Unfortunately, sometimes Europe it isn't always as cushy as it sounds. The high-profile big wigs that have shows on Bravo, MSNBC and the like will undoubtedly be fine, of course, but the regular Joes and Media Guys of the world -- marketing pros who aren't sharks despite being able to put 'grizzled vet' and 'award winner' on their resume -- could be in for a rude awakening when they reach their European destinations.

This isn't groundbreaking news, obviously, but it's difficult for the average Media Joe (in this instance, yours truly) to imagine a U.S. ad man not being treated like royalty across the ocean blue. For those of us, I'm here in the nick of time to catch everyone up on the possible perils of pond crossing. Let's hop into the time machine shall we?

It was just a few years back. I was lithe and young, at least in mind and soul. Romania called. Literally the country called. The economic development minister guided me over to CSP UM Timişoara, an also-ran in the Romanian Futbol League. I was signed to a nice six-figure contract to lay out the marketing plan and roll it out to the country. When the AirFrance business class ticket arrived, little did I realize that caviar and filet mignon was the last luxury I would experience in my Chevy Chase-like European Vacation.

I arrived to what I thought was a nice location in the Bucharest City Centre at Heliade Intre VII and Doamna Ghica. Elevators broken, I dragged my bag up to my apartment. The $4,000 door gave way to a glorified utility closet, no more that 14x14 square feet with a Murphy bed and the shared bathroom down the hall. The busted television meant that the poster of Nicolae Ceauşescu and the "Guide to Transylvania" were my sole source of in-room entertainment. For this I left the bright lights of Hollywood and Los Angeles?

Part genius and part formula, I crafted a marketing plan in record time and received instant approval. The first two games drew incredible crowds and per cap spending for the patrons skyrocketed. That bonus clause in my contract was sure to kick in.

Here’s the rub though. I was never paid anything close to my contract signing and after weeks of complaining and threats of going home early with my Air France tickets, I did get a note -- famously scribbled and tacked to my apartment door -- saying that my first and only paycheck would be given to me at Herastrau Park at sundown. Although it had Lindbergh Kidnapping written all over it, I accepted the meeting, strictly following the directions and leaving my copy of Agentia de Investigatii Media on the stoop turned to page seven.

Despite Herastrau Park (aka Parcul Herastrau) being walking distance from my apartment, I opted on the cab ride with the large "wait-for-me-tip" to the driver who returned the favor by reminding me that "the park isn't as friendly as you might think.”

My meeting spot was scheduled under the Arcul de Triumf which is a replication of Paris’ Arc de Triomphe [note to self -- figure out why Romania needs a replica of the Arc de Triomphe and why the United States needed a replica of the Statue of Liberty]. I walked to the Arc down a long tree-lined driveway I couldn't help but get a chill as I viewed the grassy knoll. All I was missing was a book depository and a wife with a hat.

Yet I digress. This was my first clandestine meeting where I may or may not get paid, instead possibly winding up as dinner for the park fish. I waited an eternity in the 22 minutes it took to be greeted by Anders Prigoana. During our short time together I would learn he was the infamous go-between that delivered payments to contractors of the futbol team and the money people who hired "talent" at their whim.

Anders was a gracious bully and the absence of color in his wardrobe was the traditional attire for a meeting of this sort. Armed with cigars and stories, he informed me that the two-inch thick manila envelope he waved continually would be all they could afford to pay me. Quite frankly, he confided, the money train had dried up for his bosses. He also shared a story of my predecessor (just in case I wanted to escalate my desire to collect more of my worthless contract).

Herastrau Park in the 1990s.

His told me they found him in his trunk…five bullets in his head. The cool October air had kept his body from rotting. He knew he wouldn't have lasted long because he just couldn't keep his mouth closed; a little too hotheaded for his own good. All the while his bodyguards followed, making a solid wall of human flesh and muscle behind him.

He finally handed me the envelope and the now-paranoid Media Guy felt like all eyes were on him and knew that there was $7,000 in British pounds there. That was a big sum of money over there and Anders was clever when we told me that just about anyone would turn in their brother for only $500 pounds. When he turned to leave, I thought I'd caught a hint of a smile on his lips.

Time to bolt. I took off right back to the cab and straight to the hotel where I pushed the bureau so the door couldn't fly open. That was a long night in my Murphy bed room wondering who might be looking to snatch my cash. As soon as morning hit, I zipped to the bank and wired the money home. The next day I was tucked safely in my business class seat sipping on a vintage French wine paired with caviar and toast points.

My parting relief was the local newspaper headline, “Despite Record Crowds, CSP UM Timişoara Declares Bankruptcy”.

A trip of a lifetime – albeit a little lighter than I expected in my wallet – ended with a job well done.

MGS Chat: HRH Princess Sumaya bint El Hassan of Jordan

Inside the Palace, an Exclusive Talk with Her Royal Highness Princess Sumaya bint El Hassan of Jordan.

Gaining some perspectives on palace life, women’s issues and more is as easy as spending a couple of hours with the princess. That is if you can stop her that long.

MEDIA GUY: Do you wear your crown in public?

PRINCESS SUMAYA: Not often. At the beginning of one trip, I managed to disappoint a little boy because I wasn’t wearing a crown, and I don’t believe he rightly thought I was a princess. He thought I should be like Sleeping Beauty [laughs]. That’s someone I would love to be like because by wearing a crown I don’t get much sleep. I am the mother of four children, a wife and a daughter. My day starts typically at 5 a.m., with managing the household and the usual mayhem when you are getting kids to school. It’s an attempt at a very typical family life.

MG: Is it possible to lead a normal life inside of a royal family?

PS: I think it is as normal as you make it. You can either want to live with frills and hold yourself in an ivory tower or you can be somebody who wants to get on and do it. This is how I am bringing up my children, and at the moment I am trying to find a creation or invention for the 48-hour day. I drop my kids at school and have to watch my daughter sing the national anthem, and then off to work. The children have violin lessons, tae kwon do and the swim team, so they don’t get home until nearly 5:30 p.m. Then the frenzy of homework, bath time and suppertime. My husband [Nasser Judeh, Jordan’s former Minister of Information] is away many evenings, and this is where I catch up on my work. The challenges of being a mother and getting my work done sort themselves out here.

MG: All of your duties: princess, head of the board of trustees at Princess Sumaya University for Technology and now heading the El Hassan Science City—do you do it out of a sense of duty or…?

PS: Everyone in my family has rallied around me on this and supported me, and I owe my sense of duty to my country to my father. We always grew up with the sense of serving our king and our country. It’s a passion for me as a daughter to realize a dream of my father to contribute as much as possible to the national development of Jordan. He spent his lifetime doing that, and I think I can harness his dreams under the one umbrella of El Hassan Science City and recognize it as a tribute to this great man.

MG: What is El Hassan Science City?

PS: El Hassan Science City will create a complete value-chain-based innovation ecosystem to solve high value problems for the Jordanian society while incubating Jordan’s next economy through greater value creation and value capture. This will also give Jordan and our entire region greater technology independence and hopefully bring peace through prosperity to the region. We will be able to harness clean energy from the sun, purify water for drinking and agriculture, and supply the basis for developing a knowledge-based economy.

MG: What about your personal technology. Are gadgets a favorite of yours?

PS: I have to be as modern as possible. We are tripping over Nintendo wires, and we hear “I’ve lost my PSP” and “Where is my iPod?” And then the nagging of “Please can we have a cell phone?” when they were at school. It was kind of sad because I had put my foot down and said the twins were not allowed to have a cell phone until they were 13. They were the only two kids in seventh grade without one, but their classmates arrived to their party with mobile phones for them.

MG: Help us gain some perspective on men and women in the Middle East and how women are treated.

PS: You are talking to a woman president of the leading applied scientific research institution in Jordan, who works there and isn’t just there as an honorary figure. I have a 14-person executive committee of which 5 are women. But we are just a few of the many in Jordan. You have women ambassadors, women senators, women members of parliament. We have equal rights for women in Jordan. The person who really spearheaded this was my grandmother Zein al-Sharaf. She got the first women’s movement started. From there, King Hussein supported women’s rights along with Queen Noor and now Queen Rania. 

            Of course, all of the women in my family have been tremendously supported by their husbands to work as well. My mother, who is not Jordanian by birth but is now by marriage, is committed to women’s issues and now heads the Young Muslim Women’s Association, which helps children with special needs. She was able to get the first community college especially devoted to women up and running. So with that goes the stereotypical image of suppressed women. I think in Jordan, we set ourselves as being very progressive when it comes to women. For other parts of the Middle East as well, all you have to do is look at some of the leaders and realize there are some very strong-willed women.

MG: As part of the board of trustees of the Jordan Museum, do you have a favorite piece of art?

PS: I can’t specifically say that there is a favorite piece, because probably the best museum in Jordan is Jordan itself. That is because we’ve come to describe Jordan is an open-air museum, and so the perfect piece is various sites around the country. Petra is an obvious choice, but another is Little Petra, which is the most special place for me.

MG: What’s the one thing you would like to do but can’t as a member of royalty?

PS: Go shopping without a little platoon following me and get on airplane and go wherever I want without having it all preplanned. I guess spontaneity is what I miss.

MG: What would the one place be?

PS: I’m not going to tell you because then people would follow me. I’ll send you a postcard when I get there [smiles].

Rockin' with The Champ and Miss USA

Okay, so where am I?

I'm in Las Vegas at Eva Longoria’s Eve Nightclub inside Crystals at CityCenter. I threw a one, two-punch this Fourth of July Weekend as I hung with hosts Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih and undefeated six-time World Champion boxer Floyd Mayweather and took over the glamorous club.

Eve Nightclub presented the ALO Hayati magazine party where guests enjoyed Femme Fatale Fridays alongside Fakih with DJ KrisCut and DJ Supra entertaining the crowd behind the turntables. Then, the knockout weekend continued with Floyd “Money” Mayweather joining the party.

Come a take a look...

Rima prepares for the big night

Miss USA 2010 with Miss Nevada

She says to call...and I will.

Thousands on hand to enjoy the night.

The champ, Floyd Mayweather with the queen

Criss Angel stopped by too.

Los Angeles vs. New York with Cosmo's Associate Beauty Editor

As a lifelong Angeleno it’s difficult to always connect with the passive aggressive (and sometimes just plain aggressive) attitude of my New York counterparts. For them, they are more virtuous, better informed and, well, they reside at the center of the universe. Shoot, even most of the international flights are gatewayed through their Kennedy Airport.

My esteemed colleague and friend, Loni Albert, associate beauty editor at Cosmopolitan, is a New Yawker in every sense of the word. Always on the go, cheerfully intense, always in a hurry, and a true friend when the chips are down.

From the minute we met on a press junket in Mexico we mapped plans to crash weddings (complete with new names – Lola for her and Jefferson aka Jeffy for me) and argued the merits of Los Angeles vs. New York.

So with upcoming cross-promotions on the horizon for the Media Guy, I decided to dig in with Lola, er Loni, and make sure I understand the nuances of a city that has over twice as many people as my beloved City of Angels.

---------

MEDIA GUY: If you were re-branding New York Tourism, how would you lure us smart Angelinos to the Big Apple?

LONI ALBERT: Angelinos should come hang in NY because it's so REAL. I love love love LA, but it feels like one giant movie set. That may be fun and glamorous and "comfortable" -- I get it. But sometimes you need more than that. NY is raw and random and diverse. Maybe all the ugliness makes the small glimpses of beauty that much more beautiful.

MG:  I’m told that LA people are soft. I’ve “earned” the nickname of LA Mike, you know. Do you think you could teach LA Mike to survive in New York City? How tough do you have to be to live in New York, Lola?

LA: LA Mike aka Jeffy, I am confident that you would get along swimmingly in New York. It's not so much that you have to be tough as in "I'll kick everyone's ass!", more so resilient and able to tolerate less than pleasant situations.

For example, getting extremely up close and personal with a bajillion strangers on a jam-packed subway car during rush hour in August with no air conditioning and delays because of "train traffic ahead".

I don't think you guys are soft. I think you are smart! Why live in an over-crowded, over-priced, dirty, smelly city where the gloomy, grey buildings are so high that the sun can't even shine down on you? Probably because of the pizza. It's pretty damn good.

MG: I have to admit that it was rather comfortable last weekend poolside – 75 degrees – sipping on a freshly-blended margarita. Does that sound soft to you? I was thinking that in about four months that the power would be out on the East Coast as you shovel out from the 10 inches of snow. How do you deal with snow and the anger it produces? LA: Aside from a few days a year, the snow has never really stopped me from going to school, work, dinner with friends, etc. You just learn to deal. There are sucky things like being stuck on the bus for a few hours because the roads are scary and covered in ice, but it's also kind of sexy to spend a snow day inside with your significant other with nothing else to do but.....stay warm ;)

MG: How is New York the media capital of the universe with all of the shutdowns?

LA: What shut downs do you speak of? There really haven't been many. Part of our "tough"-ness is that the city is pretty much prepared for anything and everything and not much stops us. It's the freaking city that never sleeps. Ready to roll 24/7.

Speaking of which, that's a HUGE point for NY. When I was last in LA, we were dying to find a place to grab a bite after hours and everything was closing and kicking us out or already closed. Here, you can eat/drink/dance/get tattooed/cash a check/and catch a train or bus literally all night long. I know from experience. Leave the office (which for me is down the block from Times Square) after midnight (yes, it happens) and the streets are still occupied and there is life. Some of it may be sketchy but..whatev.

MG: “Eat/drink/dance/get tattooed/cash a check/and catch a train or bus literally all night long”...? New York is sounding like a huge movie set now. READ: The Hangover.

LA: Eat/drink/dance/tattoo/cash a check didn't all happen in the same day. Jeez. What kinda character do you take me for? It was in two days. Haha. NY is a great movie set! Because there's real stories and adventures happening here everyday, not a produced one starring a fake tanned babe with a silicone rack and a stylist. Show me some scars. And not those left by a plastic surgeon.

MG: What’s a bus? Is that public transportation? What is that? No one walks in LA., you know…

LA: A bus: a large vehicle that occasionally runs over bike messengers (I've witnessed this), often breaks down (but only when you're late to work and it's raining), who's driver usually makes double your salary and is part of a union that will defend his employment to the end -- even after he's run over a handful of bike messengers.

I actually love that you can walk anywhere in NY. I recently called you while I walked from midtown to the ferry (a two hour walk) and passed so many different and cool neighborhoods along the way. Who needs LA's redonkulous valet charges everywhere?

MG: Tell me more about spending sexy snow days. In L.A., the pretty people do Naked Sundays (a staple in the Christina Aguilera pre-divorce household). Speaking of her, did you see the picture she held up when accepting her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame – just kidding but a Media Guy can dream.

A boy can dream.

LA: Naked any day is always a good idea. West Coast, East Coast, wherever. You don't need L.A. sunshine for that ;)

On the snow days: I'm just saying that there's sexiness to having seasons. From a gooey, girly perspective, it's romantic to watch the season's change with someone. Shows that you've been through something together. Marks the time more than just appointments you marked into your Blackberry calendar on another Sunny Tuesday.

Christina Aguilera can do whatever she wants because she is a God damned diva if ever there was one.

MG: What about your career? The beauty editor of Cosmopolitan at 24? No one believes me that I know such a brilliant writer.

LA: (a) I'm not 24 anymore, that was two years ago when we met! I'm a grandma now at 26!, and (b) my title at Cosmo is Associate Beauty Editor, but I'm thrilled nonetheless!

I don't know if I'm brilliant (but I'll take it!). I'm passionate and I think that genuine hard work and passion can really take you far and make you stand out in a sea of over privileged trust fund brats who knew the right people. And I'm not bitter of those kids, honestly. However you get to the top (hard work, family connections, sex tape) is all fair game, even when it isn't fair. That's the real American dream. Get there, however you gotta.

MG: Is it really like Sex and the City?

LA: It's a lot like Sex and The City except I don't wear $900 shoes, sleep with every waiter at every restaurant, and rarely take cabs. Okay, it's not like Sex and The City at all. But I do drink Cosmos :)

Sometimes I run in the park. Sometimes I see my family in Staten Island. Sometimes I have hot dates with the boy (which could be a fancy dinner date, or making to go cocktails and drinking them while we walk over the Brooklyn Bridge. Sometimes I have drinks with my girlfriends (who are mostly publicists and other writers). Sometimes I have cool industry events where I rub elbows with celebs and models and beautiful people.

MG: NAMES! NAMES! We need names...

LA: Not to be a name dropper, but......Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Victoria's Secret Angels, John Mayer, Beyonce, Leighton Meester, Vera Wang, Michael Kors, ummmm there's way more but I'm drawing a blank.

MG: What kind of donut are you?

LA: Donuts! I would have to be pink frosted. Girly and sweet. Although my dude recently pointed out that was Homer Simpson's fave which makes me reconsider.

One pink beauty...hold the Simpson!

MG: Lola...what do you recommend for anyone crashing a wedding in Vegas?

LA: Excellent question. A few things:

Act like you own the joint. Walk around like you know where you're going and you're supposed to be there. I do this always and manage to a. blend in to really fancy events that I am definitely NOT cool enough to be at but somehow fooled the right people and got invited to and b. get past security at hospitals, red carpet events, and college dorms (I used to enjoy pretending I was a "lost freshman." Don't ask).

Start convos with: Are you bride's side or groom's? So easy. You are obviously the opposite. And a date...of a distant cousin. When in doubt, just act drunk. Oh man, how did I end up here? Last thing I remember is kicking the dealer's ass at Poker!

MG: Final point on L.A. being “one giant movie set” – do you want a role in the new movie I am writing.

LA: I would be honored to be in your movie -- duh!

 (L to R: Lola's buddy Britt, Loni, and Heidi Klum)

Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih to party with the Media Guy

Eva Longoria's Eve Nightclub presents
Femme Fatale
Friday, July 1st. Doors open at 10pm

The ALO Hayati magazine party hosted by ALO cover model Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih

For more information or table reservations 702/227-3838.

A funny thing happened when I reached for my Armani suit...

That's so weird. I was going to celebrate the completion of my second screenplay yesterday with a few posts about various things, when I took a break for a quiet dinner with two buddies. One Stella led to another — as Stellas often do — and I woke up hours later in the Fox Studios lot. We all had How I Met Your Mother tattoos on our faces. Somehow I got Barney.

Not really, but I felt that way tonight during a massive case of writers block. I was searching for the right ad copy and the thought crossed my mind, “If you sell your soul to the devil, do you have to claim it on your taxes?” 

It’s an interesting idea because every time I reach for that Armani suit I bought in 1994, I say with a sigh, “What I wouldn’t do to fit back into this sucker again.” Which brings me to my joke of ironies…a funny thing happened to me on my way to looking great.

So, BAM, I get this email saying Ryan Murdock and Adam Steer are ready to save my fitness day. Even if you're not familiar with these two, you might have seen them around the internet firming up the earthly bodies of even the most desperate soul. Truth is these bodyweight experts have just the recipe to make you a superhero of sorts…or at least to make you look like one.

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:

You’ve hauled ass at the gym and starved yourself on miserable diet plans, all for the sake of looking great. But you're frustrated because not a damned thing happened to your physique. Those granola and yogurt breakfasts and almond lunches only made your soft, unshapely body just plain hungry for change.

Why did every plan you tried fail you? Because most exercise and nutrition programs only focus on losing or gaining weight — not on changing your shape. “That means you either lose fat and muscle together, or you gain muscle and fat together,” says Murdock. “You wind up with the same soft physique. I wouldn't call it "shapeless", because it is a shape... big in all the wrong places and small in all the worst places!”

Murdock went on to tell me that the Shapeshifter P6 Training Elements solve this sad body dilemma by honing in on all six of the essential factors within exercise, nutrition and lifestyle. “Dialing all of them in simultaneously creates a surgical strike that re-shapes your body before your very eyes,” he concluded, “Putting on some muscle or tone in just the right places, and carving off fat in just the right places. But better get a good lawyer — that new hot body of yours might just cause someone whiplash...”

So while I focused on what my new “body redesign” would look like, I imagined if my new superhero girlfriend could measure up to some of the greatest of all time. Here’s my top five:

5. Famke Jannsen in X:2

4. Liv Tyler in The Incredible Hulk

3. Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman

2. Kim Basinger in Batman

1. Teri Hatcher in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

As I came back down to Earth and to reality, I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about selling my soul to get The Shapeshifter’s free Launchpad program (http://tinyurl.com/3lzxpvc). Who knows, Famke could be waiting around the corner in just six days.

Greatest American Zero

Dateline: LOS ANGELES

August 1990

Way back in my old agency days I sat down in my office overlooking the multimillion dollar south of the boulevard homes and the phone rings. It’s a buddy of mine that works for Good Housekeeping and she needs me to be the handler for Connie Sellecca for her November 1990 cover shoot. I said “Really? How does this work? Why me?” She said, “I don’t know, she called, she found you. She heard good things about the way you handled the Brooke Burke M&Ms incident.”

There’s only one problem. In order to take this plum, pro bono assignment, I had to cancel as the plus one at a dinner with my then girlfriend (who shall remain nameless). Now for those of you too young to remember, Ms. Sellecca was the “it” woman on prime time television just finishing 10 years on two hit ABC shows, Hotel and The Greatest American Hero. Needless to say, I wasn't turning down being her Boy Friday. After some haggling with the soon-to-be-ex, I was in.

So there I was at the photo shoot cracking jokes with Connie’s publicist and her stylist and generally we had a great time. So at the conclusion of the shoot when the photographer called it a wrap, everyone gathered around hugging it out. Everyone but me. I mean I was the only newbie on set, how could I? I didn’t want to come off as creepy office guy who grabs a grope. Besides, who knew where the spies were that the soon-to-be-ex might have planted. I took the safe road. I executed a perfect high five then made sure the Lincoln Town Car delivered her home safely. Sadly, we parted ways.

The next day, I’m back in my office and there’s a giant arrangement of orchids waiting for me on my desk. The note read, “Thank you for a charming day. XO Connie (213) XXX-7761.” The flowers came with the 10 digits, so I gave her a call and said “Miss Sellecca, I got your flowers. Thanks!” She replies, “What a day yesterday, thanks again. I’m looking at the photos yesterday right now. You even took a good one, and call me Connie.” I was definitely excited about the whole “Call me Connie” thing, but since I was still committed to the soon-to-be-ex, I quickly ended the call so it wouldn’t get serious. Geez, I thought highly of myself back then.

So the next day I get back to my agency desk and there is Chia Pet with a note that says “Call me, luv Connie.” So I do and during the quick conversation I said thanks again for a great time and reminded her I was with the soon-to-be-ex and she was married to Buck Rogers! She seemed disinterested at best, but I didn’t notice.

On the third day I arrived to the agency and there’s a fanny pack on my desk with a $20 in it with a note clipped to it saying “Jump in the first cab and meet me.”

So my office mate Lisa Goldstein tells me, “You better call her and set her straight. She's going to ruin your relationship with [name omitted] and you’re going to be a massive home wrecker yourself. This girl is out of control.” I said there’s no way the statuesque Connie Sellecca wants me? No way.

The final day I show up and there’s a small hat box on my desk. Open it up and there is a pair of La Perla intimates with a hint of allure and no price tag on them. Yep, there was a note in there as well. “I need you right now.” So Lisa urges me to call again. “Straighten her out RIGHT NOW as only you can. You have to lay down the law. Show her who’s boss and make sure she gets the message this time.”

By this time Lisa has whipped me into a frenzy, so I pick up the phone and call. She interrupted me before I could get too far, “Hey Michael, I’m with some friends running dialogue. Can I call you later?”

I said, “Run this dialogue past your friends – ‘this has got to end, and now. From the last four days, I can see you got it bad for the Media Guy. All these gifts have to end. Sending those panties was the final straw.'”

She was incredulous, saying that “WHAT PANTIES? Have you lost your mind?”

“Have I lost my mind? You’re the one sending the unmentionables…”

Just then I glanced up and there the entire office was capturing it all on videotape. It was a big slice of humble pie explaining what had happened as she laughed about her publicist sending the original flowers and Lisa falling down laughing, claiming she sent the rest.

I couldn’t have been Punk’d better by Ashton Kutcher himself. Years later I wondered if this practical joke had anything to do with her having no sex for over two years with John Tesh until their wedding night. Later I found out she was fond of playing practical jokes. In fact, then-husband Gil Gerard got so used to coming home and finding her lying in a pool of fake blood, he developed a scoring system for her. Who knew?

I heard that David Letterman or Jimmy Kimmel pulled the same thing that Lisa did years later. Yes, the Media Guy and his team were always trendsetters.