The Biz: Art Director Kits and The Man in the Hathaway Shirt

In the last installment of The Biz, I recalled origin stories about my life in the New York ad agency world, including Schelp-Rock, copywriters, and would-be vampires. In the continuing saga of agency life, here's an ode to a shirt ad that inspires even today...

*Read the copy below...

Back at the agency I was buddies with one of the creative directors. Martha was in her forties and I was in my twenties. She was tough as nails, but also had a glow of a beauty pageant queen. She hated her name because it wasn't glamourous and some would brand her as "old" before even speaking with her. I could see her cut down a vendor at the knees and then strut down the hallway like she was working the catwalk. She was amazing when it was the 11th Hour and a campaign was due. Together, we never missed a deadline. She gave all of the credit to her Creative Director Kit that sat on her rickety bookshelf that sat opposite her drafting desk.

What was in that Creative Director Kit, you ask?

The kit was a curated collection of childhood memories: bobbleheads, vintage cameras, Charlie Brown lunch boxes, industry awards, Star Wars action figures, a View-Master in its original packaging, and Pez dispensers. While other non-creative departments often gossiped about how the kit was an overreach, i.e., a middle finger to the non-creatives, inside the department, we used it as the springboard to the Mendoza Line of the minimums of greatness.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that the greatest advertising creatives I worked with give their Creative Director Kits deep thoughts and carefully ensure that additions and subtractions to these shelves aren’t taken for granted. While their desks are disorderly messes, their muse art grease the wheels of capitalism and advertising art. I chronicled my kit a while ago here.

In Martha’s case, on the right partly hidden by her three Clio Awards and wilted bamboo leaves were a few classic print ads—some hers and some clipped from the pages of Life Magazine or Sports Illustrated. One ad that always caught my eye was powerful image of a man with an eye patch that rested upon five chunky paragraphs of copy: “The man in the Hathaway shirt.”

This legendary ad, conceived by David Ogilvy in 1951, is arguably one of the most inspiring pieces of advertising copy ever conceived and the pre-curser to non-sequitur campaigns such as Dos Equis "The Most Interesting Man in the World" and all of the Geico mascot ads. On eBay, there are dozens of framed reprints for auction with sales reported as "brisk." The origins of the ad are a lesson in serendipity mixed with thinking outside of the box.

The man behind the Hathaway Shirt: Ellerton Jette

Ogilvy was on the way to his Hathaway shirt photo shoot when he stopped at a Manhattan drugstore and was struck by the jar of 50-cent black eyepatches. He bought a few and became a trailblazer for a brand new style of rogue advertising. Ogilvy was under a tight $30,000 national advertising budget set forth by Maine-based CF Hathaway, a new client who had never advertised before. He knew something out of the ordinary was called for but never expected that the eye patch would become part of advertising lore. He suggested to his photographer, "Just shoot a couple of these to humor me. Then, I’ll go away and you can do the serious job."

The eye patch became the talking point, the buzz of the fashion industry. Without it, the Hathaway campaign was simply another shirt ad with a fit, well-dressed man in an upscale tailor shop. With the eye patch, the ads had a hidden story that made the reader wonder what really happened to this man. Where was he? What did he get into? It appealed to both women and men. The perfect ad.

The first media placement was in the New Yorker, clocking in at over 10 per cent of the total ad budget ($3,176, or the equivalent of $31,288 today). The impact was immediate. Seven days later, every Hathaway shirt in the city was sold out just seven days after the ad appeared.

"The man in the Hathaway shirt" is a master course in copywriting. It's an ad for a short but created a myth and a legend in one fell swoop without ever deviating that the shirt is the primary reason that three thousand dollars was being dropped on a single magazine ad that reached approximately 350,000 people in 1951. Even more startling is that this 247-word advertising manuscript is almost impossible to put down. Try finding an ad now this long in our short-attention-span world. Even today, the copy flows like a novel would, conjuring instant pictures of the finest that a shirt company could offer:

The man in the Hathaway shirt

At long last American men are begging to realize that it is ridiculous to buy good suits and then spoil the whole effect by wearing a cheap, mass-produces shirt. Hence the growing popularity of Hathaway shirts, which are in a class by themselves.

Hathaway shirts wear infinitely longer — a matter of years. They make you look younger and more distinguished, because of the subtle way Hathaway cut collars. The whole shirt is tailored more generously and therefore more comfortable. The tails are longer, and stay in your trousers. The buttons are made of mother of pearl. Even the stitching has an ante-bellum elegance about it.

Above all, Hathaway make their shirts of very remarkable fabrics, collected from the four corners of the earth—Viyella and Aertex from England, woolen taffeta from Scotland, Sea Island cotton from the West Indies, hand-woven madras from India, broadcloth from Manchester, linen batiste from Paris, hand-blocked silks from England, exclusive cottons from the best weavers in America. You will get a great deal of quiet satisfaction out of wearing shirts which are in such impeccable taste.

Hathaway shirts are made by a smaller company of dedicated craftsmen in the little town of Waterville, Maine. They have been at it, man and boy, for one hundred fifteen years.At better stores everywhere, or write C. F. Hathaway, Waterville, Maine, for the name of your nearest store. In New York, telephone MU 9-4157. Prices from $5.50 to $25.00.

Ogilvy on the campaign: "For some reason I’ve never known, it made Hathaway instantly famous. Perhaps, more to the point, it made me instantly famous." It also made the eye patch famous.

The patch started popping up in other company's ads featuring eye patches on cows, babies, and dogs. Ellerton Jette, Hathaway’s president, was laughing all the way to the bank having being the genius of deferral, allowing Ogilvy to dream up a campaign unencumbered, promising never to change a word of his copy or fire the agency.

Over the years, I've convinced colleagues to take a deeper dive in the Creative Director Kit found in every creative's office because ads like Hathaway truly puts things in perspective. As the old golf saying goes, you "drive for show and putt for dough. And while it is true that the big drive off the tee brings the oooooooooooo's and aaaaahhhhhh's, the short game is the hard work just like the Big Idea is the hard work and when you land it, it makes you indispensable.

So yes, "The man in the Hathaway shirt" sets a very high creative bar. If you find the ad sitting in the in a creative director's office, rest assured this is someone who aspires to greatness. Someone who realizes their duty is much more than their desk or their paycheck. Someone like Martha. A nod to the diligence and creative energy of yesteryear.



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3H Grade Pencils and George Carlin lead to the Big Idea

Click to enlarge

Okay, so where am I?

I needed some 3H grade pencils since I am sketching out a new look for my man cave and wanted an accurate drawing of case I need to be built. Standard No. 2 pencils won't cut the mustard. Why you ask? Well, H leads are tremendously smudge-proof and supply the cleanest lines, making the pencil of choice for tasks such as technical drawings, light sketching, and outlines. If you’re a lefty (I’m not, but sensitive to the plight of the southpaw), taking advantage of smudge-resistant H leads is a must. Yet, I digress…

Anyway, you used to have to drag yourself to one of the only high-end art supply stores in your city to find these suckers, but not you can fire up Amazon and finish your purchased and have them delivered in a few hours. Amazon is pretty great in that respect. After taking exactly 189 seconds to research, get a proper brand recommendation, select, and purchase my pencils, I surfed around the site and and I stumbled across this first edition classic, "The Agon in Euripides," penned by yours truly. It's brand new and the last one in stock at $73.00. There's also 13 more options starting at $73.37 and some more in the used book bin available from $60.00. I mean why wouldn't you want to purchased this study of the agon, i.e., formal debate, in Euripides' tragedies? Just look at these reviews:

"Lloyd does an excellent job of describing the structure, style and strategies of Euripides' agones, and everyone interested in these rhetorical exchanges will read this book with profit." —Classical Bulletin

"This is a meticulous and scholarly book. It is clear that the author has thought very hard about every sentence, and the result is a careful and highly reasoned discussion of the texts....The analyses of individual speeches are illuminating, and the book is clearly and elegantly written. There is a useful index. Overall, the book is certainly a success, and will undoubtedly be of help to many concerned either with Euripides or with Greek rhetoric." —The Classical Review

Yeah, not for everyone, but for those of you desiring a general account of the formal debate in Euripides, including a contrast with the agon in Sophocles, and contains an extended discussion of Euripides' relationship to fifth-century rhetorical theory and practice, then this is your Holy Grail of agones interpretations.

Speaking of Holy Grails of things, the Emmy nominations came out this week and five ads were nominated for 2019’s Outstanding Commercial Emmy. Apple scored two noms with Nike's "Dream Crazy," "A Great Day in Hollywood from Netflix, and long-form PSA Sandy Hook Promise’s “Point of View,” made the list. See them all in the Adweek story. At the end of the day, we're always working to tell stories that move audiences, you know, those Big Ideas I keep writing about here.

One of the inspiration points I always go to when I'm looking for that Big Idea is the George Carlin comedy bit “Advertising Lullaby.” If you're familiar with Carlin—and you should be—some of his “Seven Dirty Words” are there, so don't watch this at work with your volume up at 10. As a view who has probably watched it a thousand times, this is timeless and genius...

Here's the Full Transcript:

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee, free installation.

Free admission, free appraisal, free alterations,
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no hidden charges,
No down payment, no entry fee, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till December, and no parking.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

Shop by mail, order by phone.
Try it in your home, get one for your car.
All entries become our properties, employees not eligible,
Entry fees not refundable, local restrictions apply,
Void where prohibited except in Indiana.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
With our friendly, professional staff. Our courteous and
Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
Selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.

And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
Gourmet pocket flashlight.

And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary
Bonus gift: a classic deluxe custom designer
Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet leather style wallet.
With detachable keychain, and a pencil holder.
It's our way of saying thank you.

And if you're not completely satisfied, you pay nothing.
Simply return the unused portion for a full refund, no questions asked.
It's our way of saying thank you. Keep your free gift.

Actually, it's our way of saying 'Bend over just a little farther
And let us stick this big dick into your ass a little bit
Deeper.

The Inspiration of Mikey

When I was six and in first grade I used to walk myself home two miles alone, grab the key under the fifth brick from the back row of the orange box that sat on my Inglewood apartment porch, left myself in the house, lock the door behind me and turned on the babysitter known as the television.

In the seventies, the normal fare on my eight channels was reruns (it wasn't called syndication yet)—Bewitched, I Love Lucy, The Original Mickey Mouse Club, I Dream of Jeannie, The Brady Bunch—and it got to the point where I knew the dialog from every show cold. But I didn't watch to see what a moron Darrin Stephens or Major Nelson were or witness Lucille Ball's physical comedy. I watched for the commercials.

I jumped at every opportunity to see more commercials, study the messaging, learn more about the lighting and camera angles. Little did anyone know that the television was more than a mindless brain drain, but rather a series of seminars I built for myself in that empty apartment that would be the backbone of my future career.

My self-educated study of advertising was better than anything I learned at UCLA or any subsequent continuing education classes I still take. When we would visit my uncle, who was in the ad game, I would smuggle extra copies of Advertising Age and (later) Adweek from his office so I could learn even more about the business and the creative process, always looking to get to the next level. I distinctively remember being captivated by Madge, the Palmolive manicurist, who had a gift of the gab and forced her clients to soak their hands in dishwashing liquid while doing their nails.

That advertising was effective and I begged my mom and dad in separate households to buy Palmolive instead of the other Brand X. I had to negotiate for it, even committing to do the dishes at age seven. Did them I did and yes my hands remained soft and I never had "dishpan hands." And then, the commercial that stopped me in my tracks, aired one fateful afternoon.

It was a seminal moment for me. Maybe it was the perfect script or perhaps it was the freckle-faced kid with the same name as me. But whatever it was, I remember exact the time I watching this new spot in an awe-inspired trance in that Inglewood apartment. As an only child, I was captivated by the camaraderie at the breakfast table. As a kid of divorced parents, I was amazed there was time for breakfast debates, or that there was even a breakfast. I loved the announcer's manipulative script and authoritative tone directing parents to manipulate their households that something good for you was actually delicious. I must have watched that commercial 20-30 times that weekend, taking in the nuances of the edit, studying every aspect of it including writing down every word in my black notebook with fresh college-rule paper.

Seeing this spot opened my eyes to the fact that you have to find that amazing idea and drive it with a powerful narrative for anything to truly become special. From a production perspective, I appreciated the meticulously detailed cut and as an ardent viewer, I was convinced that this was one seamless take that built all the way through the debate, the first taste of cereal and climaxing with the "He likes it! Hey Mikey!" What kept me coming back for more was that the momentum didn't ease with the kids. The announcer played us all like puppets with his crafty delivery that drove you to the final framed shot of the cereal box. Brilliance in thirty seconds.

On Monday, I went to school and everyone ruined it. It seems my entire class had seen this commercial and convinced themselves I was the real Mikey. "He likes it! Hey Mikey!" echoed the hallways for a solid month. It was not was I was looking for in life at that time. I never did try Life Cereal but it was that experience that convinced me that it was me who had to craft the commercials. From the writing of the spot to the actual directing of them. It was a must and so I official began my journey.

As I aged and the innocence of the spot gave way to sexier ways to incite a surge of adrenaline that I could encapsulate into my own work became my calling card. Each spot I contrive takes a boutique agency approach working closely with clients to ensure I'm not just checking boxes and running through the motions, but crafting something that will catch the attention of today's constantly changing audiences. Here's the latest series of "Long Man" commercials produced for Sakeru Gummys in Japan...

Who knew that all of this could grow from cereal and dishwashing soap commercials?

The Tortillapocalypse is No Way to Treat a Media Guy

Okay, so where am I?

I'm dealing with Tace Bell's "Tortillapocalypse" and when you're writing late night, what could be worse than not having warm flour tortillas to ease your late night needs to push through your writing block?

Taco Bell is facing a tortilla shortage and it might be time to panic https://t.co/fBFCNEISNc pic.twitter.com/YXkibP1i42

— New York Post (@nypost) July 3, 2019

 

At first I thought I was an advertising ploy, but Taco Bell big wigs say this will impact profits and, I mean, Taco Bello never lies, amirite?

This Fourth of July was a welcome respite watching fireworks at Dodgers Stadium, which happens to be a longstanding Lloyd family tradition Another tradition is fighting the thousands of bad drivers trying to exit en masse from the Dodger Stadium parking lot while traffic control and whomever is helping them watch the anarchy in their lime green neon vests while we kill the environment idling on the asphalt trying to claim every inch of Elysian Park real estate. The entire process to exit was an excruciating one mile, 48-minute debacle.

The whole experienced harshed my mellow and put me into a funk as I mentally dived deeper into the spiral of writer's block that the postgame Independence Day fireworks was supposed to eradicate.

So there I was at two a.m. trying to get the words on the page and wound up going Jack Torrance once again trying to get words on a page and yet going insane with mindless, hypnotic gibberish on the page. Surely this type of work won't get me more Telly Awards (the latest arrival pictured here) to soothe my fragile ego that shiny trophies seem to embolden in one fell swoop at an awards ceremony. There is nothing better than flubbing your way through a speech with a gold or silver trophy in your hand and Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" song soundtracking your night. Nonetheless, my work resembled something like this:

I'm firmly convinced that if I wasn't in the business of putting words on paper that eventually turn into moving images on screen that I would be twenty pounds lighter which would be a welcome sight to my cardiologist, but I do so one of my challenges is crafting that Big Idea consistently. It's a burden I have embraced, but when the words fail, there's only one solution: Make a Run for the Border. That border is the all night drive thru at Taco Bell. Here's a classic TV spot from 1988.

I actually learned the secret of the Taco Bell Inspiration hour from an old colleague from the New York agency days. Scott Greene (* - names chanced to protect the guilty) was an incredible copywriter who got caught up in office politics after taking the private elevator of an XYZ Advertising Agency's big cheese one late night and the boss had to wait an extra six minutes for his ride and fired Scott on the spot. In the hopes to relieve his elevator PTSD one late night after his firing, he called me and asked me to meet him at a Midtown Taco Bell to talk him down from an impending bender.

So I arrived in the middle of the night and there was Scott in his smokers jacket over pajamas and slippers looking every bit of insane as it sounds. We sat down and ordered from their value menu/dollar menu or whatever it was called racking up thirty-six dollars of meat and cheese filled tortillas and Mountain Dew to keep him on the sobriety wagon.

He said he didn't want to become part of the "Wasteland of Forgotten Men" where old copywriters toil in writing coupons and obituaries late night at some newspaper with their graveyard crew. He told me all of the best Big Ideas can be found in the smooth future heartburn of a Taco Bell quesadilla with fire sauce. He swore by Taco Bell calling it the best Mexican food he ever ate. Being an Angeleno, aka the actual home of the best tacos int he world, I knew factually there is no such thing as "the best tacos in Manhattan." There are only two kinds of tacos in that island: adequate, and whatever passes as a little better than adequate. He seemed to agree with me, but he pointed out that was true, unless you're talking Taco Bell.

He then went on a rant/soliloquy detailing how fast food is unhealthy, how it preys on the poor by offering scientifically-engineered food products that are devoid of nutritional value, yet extremely high on emotional satisfaction. It was the emotional satisfaction that spurred Big Ideas he told me. All of the menu offerings at Taco Bell are extremely tasty, and best of all, cheap. Why spend fiver on groceries, he argued. What do you get for a fiver at the supermarket? A candy bar, a few oranges and a drink? Maybe? At Taco Bell, you can get a meal and hangout with the stoners who are wasting away.

"Taco Bell tacos are crunchy, crispy, meaty banana boats of spicy chemical goodness with the the Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos taco shell being the THE most important invention of this century," he boasted. "But the once you sink your mouth into any of the flour tortilla creation, there's an award waiting to be crafted and earned on the other side. These are must haves!"

He continued as to why Taco Bell delivers brilliance to the "Woke," "Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. None of these things were true. Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. There are lies everywhere, except Taco Bell. Taco Bell doesn't care about the fact they deliver heart attacks in a shell. All they want is to deliver you the ultimate food porn emotional satisfaction so you can get on with other satisfactions.

Since they share the same owner, in Manhattan, the Taco Bells and KFCs often share the same storefront. That equals a single "restaurant" that combines two famous brands into one mighty, delicious Frankenstein's monster of empty calories, the Holy Grail of Mexicano and Souther USA blended into some sort of B-movie two-headed snack shack.

And just like that over a constant hum of munching seven-layer burritos—yeah, that not six, not five, but seven unbelievable layers of blended emotional satisfaction—we sketched out a new resume of for Scott that netting him a directors job that guaranteed him access to private executive level elevators. That was also the genesis of my Big Idea hunting that netting me dozens of shiny gold statues.

So today when I drove to my Taco Bell (along the same route that was detailed in Tom Petty's famous "Free Falling" song about the very Valley I've called home since 1979) and they announced they were out of tortillas I was speechless. I was flummoxed to the point I didn't know what to order and as the cars started beeping in a strange karmic payback for all of the ear damage I inflicted on the Dodger Stadium crew I ordered a mountain of food I wasn't prepared for. I just sat in my car slackjawed wondering why the Tortillapocalypse choose to infect my neighborhood.

But you know what? After $14 of emotional satisfaction and a six a.m. five-mile walk to burn off the calories, the words flowed the second I sat down after a warm shower. By 10 a.m., the polished product was complete and emailed to the client. By one p.m., it was approved.

Taco Bell saves the day again...with or without tortillas.

*-Names are changed to protect the guilty.

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Someone in your life, somebody has tried to rule you and told you that you would fail without them. Be inspired and conquer:

Awards Season plus the Perfect Photo Shoot

Okay, so where am I?

Currently I'm in the midst of In the midst of planning a photo shoot, Yeah yeah, I hear you. Rent a space, show up with a camera and some pretty models and push the little button on your camera. Nope, it's not that easy, but more on that later.

I took a quick break from planning because some more great news was delivered in the mailbox this morning. I am humbled by the notification that I received announcing my 12th and 13th lifetime Telly Awards*. Just like last week, these two are the super elite Gold Awards.

This is especially good for my inner being since I'm an awards junkie. I want to own the advertising world and now the resume can list that's 13 Tellys, two CLIOs, two Emmy Awards, a Davey Award, a Communicator Award, and a bunch of others.

* - What's a Telly Award? Well..."The Telly Awards honors the very best film & video productions, groundbreaking online video content, and outstanding local, regional, & cable tv commercials and programs."

Here are a couple of outtakes from the two-picture photo combo that was the foundation of a European ad series (these were generated from months and months of planning) and ultimately earned the Telly awards:

Now, back to the planning. Hear me now when I tell you that the best images that appear in print are snapped with the mostly basic tools of photography. If you have a keen eye, most likely you will be able to view the photos and tell what the light sources are from the shadows that embrace the models, where it comes from, and begin to understand what went into making this particular production special. Most out there can follow your recipe, use the same tools, yet fall short of the brilliant plan and theme you devised.

Buy the book...trust me! (It's not even my book!)

The difference makers are the little things that all come together perfectly. You know the old adage by Aristotle, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” This truly applies to a photo shoot. The perfect formula of parts make a huge impact and until you are able to plan these advertising or editorial events solo, you’ll want to be meticulous about the obvious fundamentals that turn something regular into an editor’s choice or something worthy of a cover.

First things, first. The theme…idea…concept.

I’ve been talking about the Big Idea forever. Stumble into one an you’ll be a star in your industry for a very long time. A star similar to a country singer who gets a top 10 hit and makes money from that one-hit wonder for decades. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Chances are, if you’re in charge of the creative, you have dozens of idea that rumble through your mind. Keep a journal handy and make sure you jot down everything that flies through because you’ll forget them minutes later. You have nothing to lose by writing it all down. It will even spur new ideas. Brainstorm it out in your own head. Find the process that creates genius. Trust me, your ideas will flourish in due time. Sketch, draw, highlight, dream. Visualize your ideas and come back to them later and add to them. They might not work for this shoot, but it will work for something, some day.

If you’re not good at revving up your creative engine, then you need to practice. Try investing $11 into Wreck This Journal which very productive to teach your brain how to go against the norm and fosters big ideas. Do the whole book and then graduate into the black book journaling.

Now the little big things.

You might say that the location, timing and equipment are really big things. But you are probably wrong. One of my best photos—that made a lot of money and was my country singer star moment—used a 20D Canon, the hallway of colleague’s apartment, and a makeshift Soviet Cosmonaut helmet made from throwaway materials from Goodwill and $3 of paint.

Location - $50. Model - $250. Materials - $39. Results - Priceless.

For my private exhibition shoots, I use no lighting and a Canon 80D and clean it all up in Photoshop afterwards. You too can use minimum gear for your production. You could go all crazy and gear up with a rented studio filled to the gills with outrageous doohickeys to light up your set and create the illusion of a big show. It’s up to you, but many times, less is more.

Many of my photographer colleagues trust in modest natural sunlight as the primary light source. Sure, sometimes they add reflectors, but that’s still an easy photo hack that will make you look like less of a, uh, hack. Research is vital and remember that if you pick a location, it might require permits or simply not look good as the backdrop you want. Take some quick test photos and tinker around with them before you fully commit.

If you feel strongly about your idea, do not listen to the naysayers who want to poke holes in your vision. Any location you chose could be an incredible choice is it fuses theme with reality. You can use guesthouse or living room with some rudimentary lights, an ironed bed sheet, or paper backdrops. It won’t be expensive and could save you a wad of cash for a studio. Even a hotel room might be a better option and give you the elements you need. It all depends on your concept. All of this works until you land that really big client or can afford to build your own studio, A studio gives extra advantages of an atmosphere where natural light is essentially non-existent. You regulate and control the environment with artificial light sources that can be purchased on the cheap on eBay or second-hand at a local camera store.

Outside shoots are different. Invest in some magazines or photography books, or even an online course to broaden your knowledge of this type of shooting. (READ: It ain’t easy Mr. Know-it-all!] The biggest factors are your positioning and time. Do it right and you will have beautiful dramatic results. Do it wrong and you’ve wasted a lot of time and paid models for nothing.

Speaking of models...

Talent matters...

If you have a lousy model, you aren’t going to get what you want. Quite frankly, you are going to fail. Models mean a lot and this isn’t the time to give someone a shot. You have to believe in who you choose. If want a successful shoot, don’t go cheap on the model. Figure out a price point and agree to it. You don’t want to be called out for being cheap. Despite most not having extra pounds on their frame, models have to eat too!

Finding someone privately or direct is a good start. Try Model Mayhem. You can post casting calls and your inbox will fill up depending on the assignment and rate you post. If you go the agency route, it will cost more and it will come with a fair amount of restrictions. Think long and hard on that. If you go the private route, make sure to download a model release and make sure it is signed before the day of the shoot. Rights should revert to you or your client alone. Models should be compensated properly and up front.

If you are going with a larger commercial shoot, residuals might have to be worked out and you need to be transparent with everything when you are dealing with talent. Don’t be tricky.

Teamwork makes the dream work. When choosing the crew, make sure you build one that has a “can do, will do, want to” mentality. Teaming a crew is the hardest thing you’ll do when planning a photo shoot. Everyone needs to understand your objectives and bring their best to the set. This is easier if you are shooting a larger scale print ad and your agency will have built in resources. Even better is when your models come with their own hair and makeup. They have their own synergy and their price points are pre-negotiated. If you’re working solo then you need to be diligent to set budgets, gain commitments, and get your team motivated.

So, who do you need on your crew? Like I said, if you’re going big you will need a wardrobe stylist, a set decorator, a makeup artist, a hairstylists, and a right hard catch-all production assistant.

Now that you have these steps, all you have to do is let your imagination run wild and get a group of people to buy into your wacky creative. Don't stop at speed bumps. Plow through them and seek out your country song that carves your place in the photography world.

When in doubt, call up the Media Guy.

I can walk you through it all.

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Go behind the scenes at a beach photo shoot:

Down the Rabbit Hole with Infomercials

Okay, so where am I?

Most of my regular readers know I am always on the search for that Big Idea. It's something I learned the importance of from a, intimate David Ogilvy talkback I scored tickets through a viscous corporate ladder climber I was dating at the time. Research and writing were the keys back then. Still are if you wan to know the truth. Today I am humbled by the announcement of my 12th and 13th lifetime Telly Awards. These are the super elite Gold Awards. I am honored to have such a great team around me to make this possible and elated those long hours looking for the “Big Idea” continue to pay off.

Here's the official Gold Award Winners Reel:

Reveling in these awards, sent me down a rabbit hole remembering one of my first big award, a local Emmy Award for an infomercial of sorts for my work with the legendary Pat Summerall on a United Airlines partnership I dreamed up when I was back at Leslie's Swimming Pool Supplies (laugh all you want about Leslie's and their name, but they had almost 500 stores across the States and they were a monster). Surely I wish I had a copy of this spot, but like many things pre-digital age, it's lost in the ether. My informercial was entirely different that the hallmarks of the informercial that aired late night before cable hit its stride.

Infomercials gained steam in the 1980s as a popular advertising medium after getting its start as a long-form 1940s Vitamix blender commercial. In the 1970s, the advertising format skyrocketed in San Diego (stay classy!) with a one-hour show running Sunday television. In 1982, the infomercials us older crown know and love aired, specifically for hair growth and restoration treatments. Then in 1984, the FCC regulations imposing time limits on advertising were lifted and they really soared. Couple that with the boon in self-help products and home cooking aids and it was game on.

Here's a rundown of my top infomericals:

Suzanne Somers
"ThighMaster"

Suzanne Somers was the mostly dimwitted blonde on “Three’s Company.” We didn't hear much from her after a holdout cost her the sweet gig on the popular sitcom and then all of the sudden she was back holding down court on late-night squeezing the odd-shaped ThighMaster between your legs. Women couldn't get enough (they sold 1o million units) and adolescent boys were glued to their television screens.

The Clapper
"Clap On, Clap Off"

Before smartphones and the real Internet, The Clapper introduced millions to the concept of home automation which begs the question: would Alexa exist without it?

Life Call
"I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!"

Back in the day, I was in the room and help conceptualize the iconic "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!" commercial spot for Life Call. Yes we were laughed at. Yes, they wanted to fire us. Yes, they sold millions of units. Yes, they still run the same concepts today. No, I didn't get any royalties. Bugger!

Hair Club for Men
“I’m not only the Hair Club president, I’m also a client.”

Sy Sperling used the signature catch phrase, “I’m not only the Hair Club president, I’m also a client,” to sign off his Hair Club for Men infomercials. He was on television so much that I'm sure many college fraternities used his spots for drinking games. After an endorsement from Ron Blomberg of the New York Yankees his hair club was greeted with "instant success" raking in $100 million annual in its peak years.

The "Gazelle" with Tony Little

The ponytailed Little with the hugh thighs called himself “America’s Personal Trainer.” Actually he's probably the "World's Personal Trainer" as his infomercials have aired in 81 different countries, selling almost 50 million fitness-related products. This 48-minute informercial ran almost nightly at one point:

RONCO

Ron Pompeil was the man. Nothing was out of his seller's hands: pasta machines, pocket fishing poles, smokeless ashtrays, pray-on hair, food dehydrators, BBQ machines, devices that scrambled eggs inside their shells. You name it, he sold it. Here's a sweet thirty minute spot for his Showtime BBQ and Rotisserie:

"OxiClean" with Billy Mays

When the loud, bearded Billy Mays hit your screen hawking hawking the mysterious powdered substance OxiClean, you listened. I mean how can he get red wine out of anything when you cannot? And the ad copy? It's amazing!:

It's amazing! Watch how OxiClean unleashes the power of oxygen making tough stains disappear like magic without fading or bleeding the colors. For pet messes, OxiClean is a must; it goes deep down, below the surface to get rid of the stain and the odor. Have you ever spilled chlorine bleach on your colored clothes? Well OxiClean is tough on stains without the damaging effects of chlorine bleach. If you save one pair of jeans, then OxiClean has paid for itself. Some clothes say no chlorine bleach, but OxiClean safely removes the stain, even on baby's clothes, it's the stain remover for the things that you love. Add a scoop of OxiClean to every load of laundry; it'll boost the stain removing power of your detergent. Don't just clean it, OxiClean it!

Watch the wonders of Oxiclean:

The TV Station Sign-off: Six Wasted Hours of Ad Revenue

Today, it's impossible to image the you could turn on the television and find nothing to watch. Yes, TV stations would simply shut down for the night. Back in the day, it cost too much to run programming overnight to a small audience without advertising revenue. Of course, the infomercial solved that problem.

Someone was always up last night, namely Hair Club president Sy Sperling or Suzanne Somers pimping her ThighMaster (but infomercials are part two of this column - coming soon!). Before that, the transmitter, located on a nearby mountaintop, would stop transmitting signals your television picture would go to static, Poltergeist-style. Then, in the fifties and sixties, television stations started to use the now famous RCA Indian Head test pattern. Instead of going to static, they would sign-off at the end of the day's programming was over and place this test pattern:

I always believe this test pattern was just a placeholder, however, it had a definitive purpose. Little did we know that that everything had a purpose. Test signals helped maintain the reception and display quality of the black and white analog televisions. Tt was used to measure the resolution of the signal then align the receiver to get the best possible picture (if that was possible before HDTV):

Here's a 1950's Phillips television showing a version of the test pattern sign off card:

In the late fifties, it dawned on station managers that this was valuable media real estate began adding their their station call letters for extra branding.

But then the stations added a video of a waving American flag playing the Star Spangled Banner and the whole paradigm shifted. Here's my all-time favorite sign-off from my local television station, channel 9, KHJ-TV:

A search around YouTube netted me some more TV station sign-offs, each with a regional flavor you would expect. 

WPVI-6 Philadelphia—The "cradle of liberty, first capital of the United States" leaned on American history with an orchestra blasting "America the Beautiful" as a camera swoops around the City of Brotherly Love...

KING-5 Seattle—Wild animals roam the wilderness as choir sings to the skies (as all Pacific Northwest sign-offs should). Hard to believe this was 1985...

KTZO-20 San Francisco—This affiliate showcased its employees via a dated montage and then turned the mic over to Jeanette MacDonald who sings "San Francisco" over aerial shots of the city.

WDIV-4 Detroit—Watch the local sign-off with an early nod to religious diversity. I'm sure you digg the Motown synthesizer version of the national anthem.