Writing Tips from the Master (Not Me!)

#5. “Never write more than two pages on any subject.”

Many days it seems, I am asked how to be a good writer. To be sure, I don't know why people come to me. Humbly I say, you either love my writing or you hate it (but geez, I hope more love it than hate it). Anyway, who knows? I've made a living for nearly thirty years putting word to paper or film or audio so I guess I did something right.

How did I learn? 

It surely wasn't from Norman Mailer's school of hard knocks where the motto was "Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego."* (However, maybe it was.) I should definitely give a nod and a tip of the cap to David Ogilvy.

Wait! You don't know who Ogilvy is? The original Mad Man? The man whom in 1962 was called "the most sought-after wizard in today's advertising industry" by Time Magazine? The man who seemed to invent unorthodox imagination in advertising? If you don't know Ogilvy, you need to. Today.

I remember attending an intimate evening with Ogilvy where I sneaked a plus one from a viscous corporate ladder climber I was dating at the time. Ogilvy's words still echo in my vacuous mind. He could still bring the heat late in his life. He spoke uninterrupted for 53 minutes. Even to this day, his philosophies and methodology are timeless:

The better you write, the higher you go.
Woolly minded people write woolly memos, woolly letters and woolly speeches.
Good writing is not a natural gift. You have to learn to write well. 

I remember reading a memo that he sent around in the early eighties to his peeps. The memo -- it was it a mission statement? -- was simply titled How to Write.** with these pearls of wisdom:

1. Read the Roman-Raphaelson book on writing. Read it three times.
2. Write the way you talk. Naturally.
3. Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.
4. Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.
5. Never write more than two pages on any subject.
6. Check your quotations.
7. Never send a letter or a memo on the day you write it. Read it aloud the next morning — and then edit it.
8. If it is something important, get a colleague to improve it.
9. Before you send your letter or your memo, make sure it is crystal clear what you want the recipient to do.
10. If you want ACTION, don’t write. Go and tell the guy what you want.

You know who could have used a better copywriter? Folger's Coffee in the 1960's. Take a peek at this ad (Women...you've come a long way. Keep it rolling.)



(*) You don't know who Norman Mailer is? Norman Mailer? The author of 40 books and the chronicler of the American Century? Oh my. Well, start here.

(**) You can find more of Ogilvy’s timeless advice in the 1986 book (you remember those things, right?) The Unpublished David Ogilvy. I found a copy on Amazon, right next to this classic:

Only a few hundred thousand left unsold.

What does the book jacket say?: A book of photographs of the royal family with humorous captions. Ogilvy said it best. Less is more.

A Little Ditty About Kerri and Nikki: Part Two

Part one can be read here.

ALL ABOUT NIKKI IN 11 QUESTIONS

Nikki Sixx. What hasn’t he accomplished?

He’s a legend of rock. A fashion designer. A photographer and a bestselling author. And, oh yes, he’s (naturally) a record label president. Nikki Sixx wears many hats; just don’t mess up his perfectly messed-up ‘do. His accomplishments as the founder, bass player and songwriter of Motley Crue, by themselves, are enough to make him an icon. But Sixx's voracious quest to just be himself has taken him down the much-less traveled path well past “music superstar.”

Besides the 80 million albums Crue has sold worldwide, Sixx also topped The New York Times Best Seller list for more than six months with his autobiography, The Heroin Diaries. The book's soundtrack from his supergroup Sixx: A.M. spawned the song "Life is Beautiful," the most played rock track of 2008. Nikki is the president of the record label Eleven Seven Music. He's a photographer, a philanthropist and the co-founder of the rock couture fashion line Royal Underground.

On radio’s “Sixx Sense,” he talks a mile a minute, but during our interview, he’s a quiet burn, reflective and sharp in tone.

MG: Platinum albums, bestselling books, syndicated radio shows. What's next? 

NIKKI SIXX: Television.

MG: As a rocker, the type of music you play attracts a certain audience. Do you get resistance from certain regions or countries around the world?

NS: No, I think people who are open-minded attract open minded people.

MG: In the studio do you feel like kissing Kerri or duct taping her mouth?

NS: A little of both. No, we have a great energy between us, and we’re both learning from each other daily how to have an on air relationship.

MG: What made Kerri the perfect co-host?

NS: It just clicked.

MG: Your last tour was an amazing success. Are there plans to go back out? 

NS: Yes, Europe and America this summer. Hopefully a little time off in the fall just doing radio and writing music.

MG: What inspires you?

NS: Adversity.

MG: Have you ever been in the Middle East?

NS: No, but it’s a dream.

MG: Who knows more about music? Kerri or you? 

NS: Me for sure. I think.

MG: What do you say to the critiques who think your type of music leads to drug use and violence?

NS: I am sure they are correct on some level.

MG: You seem to be a fan of tweeting and social media. How has that affected your career and life?

NS: I use it to interact with people; people are what we are. It’s what we do; it’s important.

MG: Dream living. Where would you live? 

NS: If I lived outside the chaos (say in the middle of South Africa) and was completely unplugged from the world for a few months, I might never come back. I need the madness to push me forward. Someday I might just disappear into the shadows, only a camera in hand. Oh, and a microphone so I could still do radio.


The original article appeared in ALO magazine (print) and can be found online here.

A Little Ditty About Kerri and Nikki: Part One

After a few decades in the business, Nikki Sixx is still scrambling our brains with his misnomers and his mania, still talking about life and music like it’s his last seconds behind the mic. We could say he’s one of the few constants in our music-listening lives. He’s been up to every challenge life has offered him. Our question, however, is, how does he manage to handle Kerri Kasem?

They joined forces in 2010 cohosting radio’s “Sixx Sense,” heard coast to coast from New York to San Francisco for five hours every weeknight. With their live celebrity interviews in their Los Angeles studios and their irreverent takes on music and lifestyle, their no-holds barred radio has taken root. Sixx has been known to take his now classic on-air battles with Kasem to the Twitter scene, tweeting about the day’s topic. However you slice it, these two have carved out an incredible hunk of listeners and fans nationwide.

KERRI!

She’s got the talent, the sparkling personality, the looks of a Hollywood siren, the endless quick wit and the kind of laugh we keep coming back for. The only question is who really is Kerri Kasem?

It's hard for a writer not to sound more like a bag of wind when he's attempting to elevate musicians and especially radio personalities to the status of artist. But if you're thinking of Kerri only in the context of music, or even in the context of her and Nikki’s “Sixx Sense” radio show, then you're missing the more fundamental and exciting thing about her: When she's on the mic or in front of the camera, she's as beautiful as any human expressing her-orhimself verbally in any way.

Turns out it's not so easy to bring this up in your typical celebrity/personality interview though. We have 10 more minutes? Hmmm, okay, let me just see.

Anchoring a top rated iTunes podcast, “The Kerri Kasem Podcast” with Ashley Marriott. Teaching America about motorcycles via the nationally syndicated “Racing Rocks” radio show for nearly a decade. Going toe-to-toe with the big boys hosting Ultimate Fighting Challenge specials. Yep!

Oh, yeah, there is this one other thing. I was thinking that when you say whatever you feel like, tweet to the universe that your co-host should be in a headlock courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler Chris Jericho, and when you paralyze your listeners with your voice rather than your immense beauty—well, it seems to me that at those moments you've transcended radio.

MG: Kerri Kasem, you invaded the entertainment scene through radio? Are you more at home in radio? Or is a return to TV in your future?

KERRI KASEM: Television hosting has always come in and out of my life, and I’m definitely not finished, but I love radio, and I do feel at home behind the mic. Don’t laugh, but I’d love to be on “Dancing with the Stars” and end up hosting it like Brooke Burke.

Right now, I have three radio shows, and I am also on the “Sixx Sense,” radio show that I do with Nikki. We are on over one hundred FM stations, XM Radio, iHeartRadio and the Internet. And now we get to listen to our show five days a week right here at home in Los Angeles on 98.7! Plus, we have “The Sideshow Countdown” that runs on the weekends as well.

MG: You have a unique partnership with Nikki Sixx. How did you know this would be a fit?

KK: Actually, getting this job was not up to me, I had to audition like everyone else. However, Nikki and I had instant chemistry when we did our demo tape, and it was just a perfect fit.

MG: Who is the real Kerri? We hear some comments from colleagues and friends that you are quite special. What differentiates you from the rest?

KK: Wow, thank you for that compliment. Now how much do I owe you? I’m genuinely interested in people, and I think that shows. I have a strong work ethic, and I believe that kindness is one of the most important traits in a human being.

MG: Many would never think you are of Middle Eastern heritage? What impact has this made in your life?

KK: Actually, many people do ask me if I’m Middle Eastern or Persian. My dad Casey Kasem is very proud of his heritage. The Lebanese side of my family is made up of very warm, hospitable, fun people that are always trying to feed you. I think that I absolutely inherited those traits.

MG: You visited many countries in the Middle East. What will you embrace, and what would you change?

KK: I would give the Middle East the gift of tolerance and acceptance. And I embrace the rich culture and beauty. There is so much beauty in the Middle East that so many people will never see because of fear and propaganda. Some of the most beautiful historic sites that I’ve seen were in Syria, where I felt like I was experiencing a part of history.

MG: You have shown us that you are all about the rights of the living―women, children, animals, the underprivileged. What made this such a passion for you?

KK: Most people don’t know about the Declaration of Human Rights, signed by 53 countries and stating: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.” It’s very important that people know their human rights. It empowers them. And I am passionate about empowering others.

MG: You have the voice, the gateway and the audience to deliver a message. What is that message today?

KK: There are many messages I deliver depending on what show I'm doing. With my real estate investment show and my mortgage show, those topics are exactly what I talk about, and with “Sixx Sense” we talk about our lives, pop culture, music etc. The podcast is where I get to really send my message about health and wellness and questioning what we deem to be "authority." I love diving into conspiracy theories as well!

MG: We have had the privilege of hearing you sing, and you are impressive. A career there?

KK: I’ve been singing since I was a little kid, and one of my dreams is to be on Broadway. Who knows, maybe you’ll see me there one day.

MG: A place that Kerri finds her inner peace? Where is that? 

KK: When I’m with people that I love, and when I’m doing what I love.

MG: Nikki in one word? 

KK: Determined.

MG: The role model for you―personally and professionally?

KK: My dad for both.

MG: Entertainment lacks inclusion when it comes to Middle Eastern celebrities. What are your tips to "making it." 

KK: I don’t agree with you there. Here’s a list of people of Middle Eastern descent who have “made it”: Jerry Seinfeld (Syrian mother); Shakira (half Lebanese); Salma Hayek (Lebanese); Sammy Hagar (partially Lebanese); Vince Vaughn, rock musician and former lead singer of Van Halen (partially Lebanese); Paula Abdul (Syrian Jewish father). Just to name a few. And, of course, my own well-known father.

MG: The public image that you like to portray?

KK: I think there’s a bunch of different sides to me depending on what show I’m doing. Fun and outgoing for the “Sixx Sense,” serious and savvy for my mortgage and real estate shows, and bold, smart and a bit out there for my podcast.

MG: How is your private life different?

KK: My private life is private.

MG: The most adventurous thing you ever did?

KK: I’ve done a lot of adventurous things in my life like skydiving, riding motorcycles, scuba diving, bungee jumping etc., But the biggest adventure and the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done was grabbing my backpack and sleeping bag, buying a ticket to the Dominican Republic and hopping on a bus that broke down on its way to Haiti a week after the earthquake. When the earthquake hit and devastated that country, I had to help, and nothing was going to stop me. I’m planning my next trip now.

MG: A woman of wisdom is:

KK: Wise.

MG: An independent women is:

KK: Sexy.

MG: What is next for Kerri Kasem?

KK: To keep doing what I can to help others.

MG: Your dream accomplishment in the next five years?

KK: To have the number one show in radio and to be on Broadway.


Part Two can be read here.

The original article appeared in ALO magazine (print) and can be found online here.