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Sunday, August 27, 2017

The Birth of Venus

Dartmouth says that "personal diversity" means entertaining many different kinds of experiences in your own, daily life. It goes beyond the ordinary diversity in which we find ourselves surrounded, like it or not, with people who offer us counter narratives. Personal diversity means filling our days with activities that don’t match up with what we normally do...

In the advertising world, it means if you want to make it, you better be able to talk about things other than copy, photo shoot ideas, and next year's campaign. I mean, there's a world of great concepts out there lurking in the minds of your colleagues and competition.

What keeps clients and co-workers alike happy is the ability to spin a good tale and talk about areas of interest nobody has any real knowledge about. Throw out something about art or history in any real detail and most of your contemporaries with think you're a real brain and want to hear more at a later date. Think Scheherazade extending her life for years in One Thousand and One Nights. The real secret is when to work in your special knowledge and make is worth listening to. This is an art in itself.

This approach has served me well for a handful of decades. It will serve you well too.

Okay, so where am I?

I'm in Florence, Italy. In case you don't know it, Florence is the Cradle of the Renaissance, romantic, enchanting and utterly irresistible, Florence (Firenze) is a place to feast on world-class art and gourmet Tuscan cuisine. It's also home for some pretty great art.

Now, I know a thing or two about art, having penned a couple of books about the subject and all without taking myself too seriously. But, Florence offered the allure of the Uffizi Gallery and the opportunity to see some special pieces of art that I've written about but never seen before.

One such piece is Sandro Botticelli's Birth of Venus (circa 1484-86). Aside from his painting of the Primavera, Botticelli’s other greatest work, done for the Medici family, is the Birth of Venus. Unfortunately, we do not know for sure which Medici it was painted for, or which location it was originally hung in.

Sandro Botticelli, Birth of Venus, c. 1484-86, tempera on canvas
Before considering the subject matter, it is important to take note of the medium.  This is a work of tempera on canvas.  During this time, wood panels were popular surfaces for painting, and they would remain popular through the end of the sixteenth century.  Canvas, however, was starting to gain acceptance by painters.  It worked well in humid regions, such as Venice, because wooden panels tended to warp in such climates.  Canvas also cost less than wood, but it was also considered to be less formal, which made it more appropriate for paintings that would be shown in non-official locations (e.g. countryside villas, rather than urban palaces).

The theme of the Birth of Venus was taken from the writings of the ancient poet, Homer.  According to the traditional account, after Venus was born, she rode on a seashell and sea foam to the island of Cythera.  In the painting we see here, Venus is prominently depicted in the center, born out of the foam as she rides to shore.  On the left, the figure of Zephyrus carries the nymph Chloris (alternatively identified as “Aura”) as he blows the wind to guide Venus.

On shore, a figure who has been identified as Pomona, or as the goddess of Spring, waits for Venus with mantle in hand.  The mantle billows in the wind from Zephyrus’ mouth.

The composition is similar in some respects to that of the Primavera. Venus is slightly to the right of center, and she is isolated against the background so no other figures overlap her.  She has a slight tilt of the head, and she leans in an awkward contrapposto-like stance.

Botticelli paid much attention to her hair and hairstyle, which reflected his interest in the way women wore their long hair in the late fifteenth century. He gave Venus an idealized face which is remarkably free of blemishes, and beautifully shaded her face to distinguish a lighter side and a more shaded side.

Of obvious importance in this painting is the nudity of Venus. The depiction of nude women was not something that was normally done in the Middle Ages, with a few exceptions in specific circumstances. For the modeling of this figure, Botticelli turned to an Aphrodite statue, such as the Aphrodite of Cnidos, in which the goddess attempts to cover herself in a gesture of modestly.

In painting Venus, Botticelli painted a dark line around the contours of her body. This made it easier to see her bodily forms against the background, and it also emphasized the color of her milky skin.  The result of all of this is that Venus almost looks like her flesh is made out of marble, underscoring the sculpturesque nature of her body.

The demand for this type of scene, of course, was humanism, which was alive and well in the court of Lorenzo d’Medici in the 1480s. Here, Renaissance humanism was open not only to the use of a pagan sculpture as a model, but also a pagan narrative for the subject matter.

Although the Birth of Venus is not a work which employed Renaissance perspectival innovations, the elegance of the classical subject matter was something that would have intrigued wealthy Florentines who patronized this type of work. However, it would not have appealed to everyone, like those who viewed the worldly behavior of the ruling Medici family as corrupt or vile. By the 1490s, the tension that resulted from the clash between courtly excess and those who wanted religious reform came to a climax when the preacher Savonarola preached his crusade to the people of Florence. One of the people influenced by the preacher was Botticelli, whose change of heart moved him to destroy some of his early paintings by fire.

The Uffizi Dome (click to enlarge)

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Che Palle!*


Okay, so where am I?

I'm at the airport having a rather pointed conversation with the Alitalia desk manager about the upgrade to business class I just paid for my trip to Rome where I may or my not be going for a short film shoot. Although I paid my $950 to gain entry into a lay flat -- I mean seriously, sometimes you
No business class lounge? Che palle!*
need a little luxury on a 12-hour flight -- I was not going to get to check an second piece of luggage or get entry into the business class class lounge. Her reasoning was that I paid for the seat but not the "experience" of being in business class.

Che palle!* I semi-loudly told her. In all of the years I've flown business class, I was never without access to the business lounge to accompany my ticket. Sadly, I relented taking my boarding pass and reminding the desk manager that no good press could ever occur with the access a business class ticket entitles you worldwide.

Funny thing about his exchange was that I knew exactly three expressions in Italian ("Ciao" - hello, "Addio all'amore" - goodbye with love, and "Che palle!" - what balls!) and this one came in handy, although not very effective. Which got me thinking...

I made pizza from scratch...che figata!
What are the handful of Italian expressions that are an essential addition to any vocabulary, especially when you're in Rome, Florence, or Milan? (Note to self: Don't use any of these in Naples or Sicily. Why? Watch the Godfather II.). These are the expressions you’ll hear them all over the streets and if you understand them, it will make you much more fun to speak with.


* - Che palle! (keh PAL-leh). Translated word for word as, “What balls!” it’s the short and sweet equivalent to “What a pain in the ass!” Tack it onto the end of any annoying activity for added emphasis: “We have to climb all those stairs? Che palle!” or mumble it under your breath when someone causes you general agitation: “Put a scarf on or you’ll get pneumonia!” Che palle.

Boxed wine? Mi fa cagare!
Che figata (keh fee-GAH-tah). A journey through Italy will leave you with many opportunities o use and hear, “What a cool thing!” I crushed grapes at a winery today! “Che figata!”  We learned how to make handmade pizza! “Che figata!” “It’s official. I found these Pradas for 20% off!” “Che figata!

Mi fa cagare! (mee fah cah-GAH-reh). Italians take expressing discontent to a another level with the descriptive “It makes me poop,” leaving us English speakers in the dust with our much less dramatic, “It’s terrible.” “That restaurant? Mi fa cagare!” “His tight pants? Mi fa cagare!” 

Get a room...Che schifo!
Figurati! (Fee-GUH-rah-tee). “Don’t worry about it!” or “It’s nothing!” As you would in English, you can use it when you mean it: “Thank you so much for the great meal!” “Figurati!” Or to be nice when you don’t: “I’m sorry I spilled red wine on your brand new, white Gucci shirt.” “Figurati!

Magari! (mah-GAHR-ee!). The Italian version of “I wish!” “Let’s hope!” or “Maybe!” When someone asks you if you plan on coming back to Italy or owning a Tuscan villa, you can respond with “Magari!” (because of course you do). “Magari” is also a good play to  for playing it cool before your walk of shame: “Will we ever see each other again?” “Magari!

Che schifo! (keh SKEE-foh). “How disgusting!” Here are a few cases where you will encounter the need to screech “che schifo” The couple on your boat boat think they’re in their bedroom: “Che schifo!” A pigeon poops on your shirt: “Che schifo!” You see a 69 year-old man boldly hitting on a 19 year-old girl: “Che schifo!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Most Racist Commercial Ever

I don't begin to be an authority on race relations or all things racist. After all, I'm a white guy who has a decent amount of education in a white collar job. According to the masses, making it America is right up my alley...

...however, I do have just a little expertise on the the subject of cross-culturalism having grown up in Compton and Inglewood in the early and mid-seventies and later working on Middle Eastern tourism accounts in a post-9/11 America. Talk about stereotypes...I lived inside of them! You could ask for a better sitcom setup than being the only five year-old caucasian kid in all-black Los Angeles neighborhood or the same guy as an adult rolling around downtown Damascus leading journalists on tours of the next great world destination.

Mrs. Lee's husband was some hot-shot...
Soooooooooo, one thing I can spot from a distance is a racism and racist advertising. Even in the 1970s, when no one cared about racist or sexist advertising (well, at least not enough to impact real change) I could spot these ads.

In the seventies, you couldn't turn on the television without seeing a Calgon commercial. The iconic "Take Me Away" ad, created by Ketchum Advertising, endured for decades in various forms. Take Me Away earned a spot in The Advertising Slogan Hall of Fame (yeah that's a thing). But it older advertising sibling, "Ancient Chinese Secret," earned itself a spot in the Media Guy Hall of Shame (no, that's not a thing).

“Ancient Chinese Secret” takes place in a hole-in-the-wall big city laundry run by a Chinese couple. In the '70s, Asian-Americans seemingly couldn't appear on American television unless they were serving up karate chops, walking around in the background as Chinatown gangsters or running laundries at the pleasure of the bourgeois (maybe things haven't changed much actually). The (probably) very caucasian copywriters who dreamed up “Ancient Chinese Secret” had to have lived in a world where Americans only understood Asian Americans (called then "Orientals") as people who were extremely adept at getting stains out of bell bottoms. Without a Commissioner of Logic running around checking approved copy, this beauty hit the airways:


Let's dive into this spot just a bit.

OVERLY CAUCASIAN CUSTOMER:
How do you get your shirts so clean, Mr. Lee?

(The flummoxed, overly caucasian customer can't seem to understand how flirty Mr. Lee can get shirts so clean.)

MR. LEE
Ancient Chinese Secret.

(Cut to Mrs. Lee who probably works her ass off in back in a suggesting that while Mr. Lee can wear a pressed blue Brooks Brothers dress shirt, while Mrs. Lee still longs for the old country in her traditional cultural dress.)

MRS. LEE
My husband, some hot-shot. 

Here's his ancient Chinese secret: Calgon. 
Calgon's two water softeners soften wash waters so detergents clean better. 
In hardest water, Calgon helps detergents get laundry up to 30% cleaner.

(And, since Mrs. Lee couldn't possibly be smart enough to keep said Ancient Chinese Secret a secret, and ultimately keep their small business safe, she appears from the back with an empty box of Calgon.)

MRS. LEE
(yelling at husband and shaking the box in his face) 
We need more Calgon!

OVERLY CAUCASIAN CUSTOMER:
(to Mr. Lee in an sarcastic tone) 
Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?!

For those of you not aware of the historical significance of the Chinese Laundry, it started with the California Gold Rush of 1849. With the hope of finding gold in "those there mountains," contract laborers from Southern China scrambled to the Golden State in search fortunes in the gold mines and or working on the railroads. Soon the anti-Chinese sentiment was so strong that immigrants were forced to seek other work.

Myths debunked!
A bit of research showed that in 1851,Wah Lee opened the first US-based Chinese hand laundry in San Francisco. The small storefront in San Francisco had a simple sign: “Wash’ng and Iron’ng.” Quickly, the laundry had expanded to dozens of washermen working three daily shifts. With no special skills or venture capital required, a laundry was an ideal business for Chinese immigrants. By the 1870’s, Chinese laundries were operating in all most western cities firmly cementing the laundry guy as a stereotype that would take a century to defuse.

Chinese laundries have been used in many laundry-related product advertisements, typically in a method that exploits this stereotype. A Lavine Soap trade card showed small, cute, pig-tailed Chinese with the product. The Chinese Laundry Scene, an 1895 silent film5, featured the popular slapstick vaudeville act Robetta and Doretto as an Irish police officer and a Chinese laundry worker quarreling. One print ad for a Hoover home washing machine shows several Chinese men, presumably laundrymen, standing around it with a puzzled look. and on and on.

Back to Mr. Lee. The whole commercial was off from the start. I mean who goes to the dry cleaners simply to get shirts washed? Nobody really did that anymore in the seventies. And the whole "Ancient Chinese Secret" thing? Surely had to be wrong. Right? But month after month, year after year the spot appeared.

I've decided back then that if they could get away with that spot, then surely the ad men were some kind of wizards that had the ability to cast a spell on the nation.

The "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" copywriter? Some hot-shot he must have been!

I mean just a few years earlier, the ad men were crafting dry punch mix commercials that sold out the supermarket with this copy:
"Let's have some thirsty, tired kids yell, 'Hey, Kool-Aid!' 
Then a huge, walking punch pitcher came crashing through a brick wall. High concept indeed. Today, there would be a public outcry that Kool-Aid was promoting wonton destruction of property. Can you imagine the picket signs, pitchforks and angry mob that would descend on Ketchum Advertising today if Mr. Lee was touting that in 2016?

Explain that one, Mr. Lee.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

KELLOGG'S: You Should Have Called The Media Guy!


Surfing around Amazon today and I came across an oldie but a goodie written by yours truly: European and American Paintings and Sculptures 1870-1970, in the Australian National Gallery Hardcover – 1992. Yeah, you can buy the book on Amazon but the $1800 price tag might scare you aware from this out-of-print beauty.

In a related story, there's no truth to the rumor that the book has gold-tipped pages. It's just hard to find these days. Yet, I digress...

Okay, so where am I?

I'm on a bit of a retreat as I search my soul to find a handful of Big Ideas for some upcoming campaigns. It's a lovely property with butler service, 24-hour gourmet room service, sounds of the ocean from my lanai, and a pond with huge lily pads. It's the perfect mix of civilization and nature that inspired the right blend of inspiration and meditation to spark the creative juices.

A good place to start the creative process is to look at what's out there. The more I scrape the bottom of the creative barrel, the older I know I am. I mean, I feel like I'm the only guy that watches television commercials anymore, but based on the soaring budgets for these spots and the cost to do media buys, the more I know it's simply a myth that commercials don't work. They do, and when you get a solid spot with a decent media plan, the word spreads fast.

So there I am flipping through shows and maybe the worst example yet of awful, New Age “femvertising” pops up in the form of a Special K commercial...take a peek:



“Women? We eat. We don’t doubt it. We own it.”

Wait, whaaaaaat? As a reformed misogynist, every time I see a spot like this I feel like I'm reverting to my old Mel Gibson What Women Want ways and needing a good hair dryer zap to fully get me in tune with advertising geared at women.

So there I was watching this commercial saying "who in the holy hell is writing these inane commercials" while looking for a pencil to jab into my eye so I could stop the pain of ingesting these kinds of ads. Any wouldn't you know it, there wasn't a pencil to be found to end the suffering.

If you don't think I'm a man of simple tastes and pleasures ask me what the highlight of my last vacations was...

Waiting...

Still waiting...

A properly-filled scantron was the first step towards an A test!
Give up? Well, I checked into beautiful European hotel and boy they don't skimp on the super neat amenities. In my room, sitting atop the note pads on a Resolute Desk replica were elegant golden pencils. New pencils. Erasers unused with lead at a fine point. My memory drifted back to a noisy fourth grade classroom as I searched for the fresh scent of new pencil shavings as the formed a mini mountain underneath the manual sharpener.

Memories moved to the odd lectures from mostly well-intended teachers urging you to fill the circles completely on your scantron in order to receive proper credit for all of your guesses answers. Remember your teachers reminding you to use your mighty yellow Ticonderoga pencils with the ever-important number two lead? I sure do! Begrudgingly tolerated the of the mechanical pencil.

Try and find a pencil at home or in your office these days. Impossible! What ever happened to the noble pencil?

Most of this monster was started with a pencil...
History romanticizes the quill pen. It begrudgingly tolerated the unnatural abomination of the mechanical pencil. It resigned itself to the mass production of Bic's ballpoint. And all the while, the pencil was there being taken for granted and waiting for nostalgia to sweep it back into relevance.

Yeah, we are still waiting and waiting for that to happen.

It wasn't pens that beggars sold from their tin cups during the Great Depression, it was pencils. The world greatest sketches and poetry arose from lead points. Even the art of pencil sharpening was a way to both take a break during a difficult quiz and simultaneous show off to your classmates as you shaved the wood head with economical strokes that told your world you were a true craftsman.

All of this was during my time when cursive writing wasn't banned in school and pencilmanship was still a grade that counted towards your elementary GPA. It was a time when the US Postal Service bustled with snail speed to deliver the letters we wrote on fine linen stock. I digress yet again.

At the end, I called several of my female friends, imploring them to watch the Special K commercial with me on youtube and the general consensus was that the spot was terrible and they were searching for pencils too.

The moral of the story? The marketing execs at Kellogg's or even the ad men at Leo Burnett (the agency that handles Special K) should have called the Media Guy to write their "We Own It" spot. I guarantee you I would have crushed it, Clio-style or worked for free.

Looking back though, I thank America's apathy for the pencil for saving my left eye as I searched for that Big Idea today!

Grazi...

Epilogue

Check out this fun story about a professional pencil sharpener with Mo Rocca of CBS Sunday Morning:


Thursday, August 3, 2017

Finding the Perfect Media Guy House...

LA is a gentle line of homes without a city // 
You see some summers when a row of properties burn like a sacrifice above the desert //
Moreover it's more really the slow sleepy whip of driven-by Starbucks in strip malls //
It's a petro haze // 
A lowrise watercolor forever outshone by its projections // 
Various ghost cinema selves destined to be always banished by the sunshine // 
And you can shoot great in this light but you can never watch it back here // 
But I don't want the meaning exaggerated like that // 
Just my memories of once longer mornings, garden decades, clubhouses and garages // 
Forever permanent childhood Saturdays //

-----------------------


Okay, so where am I?

I might be on the search for the perfect home. I need something eclectic, yet futuristic. Something that can host some killer media parties and where return visits are sought. I was looking at something futuristic, yet not ridiculous.

There's a ton of wildly fun homes in the Greater Los Angeles area. If you're waiting for the future, no need. Thus kind of architecture was already dreamed up in the in middle of the twentieth century. As a mater of fact, space age architectural design was essentially invented in L.A. We were given the Theme Building at LAX, Johnie’s Coffee Shop, and whimsical homes that would make the Jetsons proud.

Join me on my tour around SoCal and the genius of the land...all I need now is a realtor like Phil Dunphy.

Chemosphere
Architect: John Lautner


When the 45-degree slope in the Hollywood Hills proved to be too challenging, a new concept was born. Rest an octagonal-shaped wonder on a 30-foot-tall pole. Getting to the front door is not problem. Simply take the funicular to ring the bell. You would think that this would be the safest home around until you discover that the home’s second owner was stabbed to death during a robbery attempt.

Garcia House
Architect: John Lautner


Another Lautner Hollywood Hills creation rests on what looks to be thin legs. The ceiling-to-floor walls makes the views of the city nothing short of spectacular. Movie buffs like me will remind you that Mel Gibson destroys this house in Lethal Weapon 2 after a bunch of South African diplomats kill his new girlfriend.

Futuro House
Architect: Matti Suurone


This masterpiece was conceived as a pre-fabricated portable ski chalet. The house is mostly made of plastic with stairs that fold out from the entry hatch. You know, like the Millennium Falcon. Less than 100 were made in the late 1960s and early 1970s with only 50-60 still remaining. This one sits literally next door to the Chemosphere. Han Solo would be proud to retire here.

Al Struckus House
Architect: Bruce Goff


Situated in the San Fernando Valley's bedroom community of Woodland Hills, this hippie New Age home is built out of repurposed wood. The house is said to have an energy that gives an aura off that makes you feel like you are in a world without atmospheric friction.

Bubble House
Architect: Wallace Neff



Some of the original inexpensive housing were the bubble houses, circa 1940s. They were by inflating a giant balloon and then covering it with spray-on concrete. I'm not kidding here. Overseas, they were grouped together in a cluster as you would imagine a Martian colony would look like. This one resides in Pasadena, California, home to the Rose Bowl.

Bob Hope House
Architect: John Lautner


Bob Hope’s Palm Springs home, aka the “UFO House”, was created in 1973 to be reminiscent of volcano with a circular opening in the courtyard roof. If anything, it looks like something out of Close Encounters of the Third Kind with the mothership touching down on Planet Earth.

The only truly acceptable place for a UFO house is on top of the cinder core of a dead volcano in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Designed by Harold Bissner Jr. for the guy who patented the original skateboard, the 1968 home (near Barstow) is tricked out with a moat and rooftop observation deck. Oh, yeah, and for a number of years, it was owned by Huell Howser—precious Huell Howser—who eventually donated it to Chapman University.

Volcano House
Architect: Harold Bissner Jr.


In 1968, the guy who patented the skateboard decided to built a UFO house on the top of dead volcano in the heart of the Mojave Desert. It even has a moat and rooftop observation deck.

Elrod House
Architect: John Lautner


Designed by John Lautner, the official king of spaceship homes, this Palm Springs treasure was featured in the James Bond classic Diamonds Are Forever. See it in high def below.

See the Houses in Action: