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Monday, December 21, 2015

Crassmas

We, as a society, have turned Christmas into Crassmas in so many ways.

You may have heard me rant against fake Christmas trees on CNN last year so I won't revisit that except to note this...

...you know how you have a friend with somewhat ugly, odd-look baby* and you feel obligated to say how adorable it is? It's the same with your artificial tree. You post a picture of this obviously fake towering monstrosity on Facebook and you get all these likes. But please be aware that people are just being polite while privately bemoaning your soulless sellout as you insult mother nature and one of her greatest yuletide traditions.

If only fake trees were the only way we put the crass into Christmas...

Random displays are for parades...
Ever notice the trend in outdoor lighting? When I grew up in the seventies, holiday displays used to have Christmassy themes. You know, Santa reindeer, snowmen, maybe a nativity menagerie. Now? Anything goes. My neighbor's display includes a processional of papier-mâché alligators and Star Wars characters for no apparent reason. Another neighbor has a 50-foot tall inflatable Snoopy balloon bobbing menacing in the breeze. When did Christmas become the Macy's Day parade?

What are we doing?

Every time I see a balloon set up for Christmas all I wish that I got for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB Gun (and no, I won't shoot my eye out**)...

Another thing...Christmas Music. Keep it to the traditional carols, please. We don't really need awful new Christmas songs by Drake and One Direction, or Flo-Rida's version of The Little Drummer Boy.

The sad trend in gift giving also puts the crass in Christmas. Once upon a time it was important to put some thought into gift giving. Homemade gifts were common...and welcomed. The present you gave said a lot about you. Now it's a game of poker. We are just dealing gift cards, baby! Can we be any more mercenary or half-assed? I mean how
Crassmas at its finest...
ridiculous is "you give me a $100 gift card; I give you a $100 gift card" scenario? Why not cut out the middle man and just exchange cash?

I remember my favorite gift as a kid: a battery-operated Tonka tank. I would build a small pyramid with encyclopedias and watch as my tank treads pressed into Battle Hill. I wonder whatever happened to the Tonka tank? Yet I digress...

Let's get back to what's real and make it Christmas again and not Crassmas. Buy a real tree, don't give gift cars, sing a tradition carol, and surprise some kid with a Tonka tank.

*Seinfeld and the somewhat ugly, odd-look baby...


**You'll shoot your eye out!


Monday, November 30, 2015

Save the Key!

Okay, so where am I?

I'm traveling to work on my television show and somehow translate butchered Japanese english into real english and then back into something Japanese that the masses on the Pacific island can fathom in the middle of a melodrama. In the middle of all of this drama, and on the eve of the busiest travel month of the year, I submit to you traveler this public service announcement...

Keys!

Whatever happened to them?

I don't mean keys to the game, keys to success, or keys to the game. Those are still around. I mean the kind of keys you hold in your hand. Those small, saw-toothed marvels that unlock doors ... and therefore, mysteries.

Not too long ago, the key was an integral part of life, dangling reassuredly from a ring and tucked into your pocket like gold. Some might say, everything started from this tiny, unique personal passport and was the key to life.

Now the key is being replaced.

Replaceable, and nearly defunct.

Gone the way of the manual typewriter.

On a list of occupations with a future, the locksmith ranks just above shoe cobbler. In a Home Depot kiosk I saw the cobwebbed, skeletal remains of a key grinder. How very sad...

When was the last time you checked into a hotel and were handed an actual key?

Nowadays, you're handed a a soulless piece of credit card looking plastic that electronically opens your door...or is supposed to...

Remember back in 2012 when I reported on the fun times waiting on an elevator to trek back to the front desk while Steve and his Abercrombie & Fitch-looking girlfriend argued whether or not he could call her "baby" or not? Well, it isn't always that exciting when you need to get into your room and technology has failed you. Yet I digress...

Turns out your cell phone can disable this room non-key. Way to blow it technology! Have you ever seen technology disable an actual key? I thought not.

And, when was the last time you sat in a new car and saw an actual ignition with that comforting vertical slot where the key went...and turned... That was a part of the joy of having your own car. You were handed the set of keys and off you went. Now you press a button.

*Sigh*

Soon there will be no more keys of any kind. People: support your local key. Bring the key back. Visit that kiosk at Home Depot and if there is a living grinder there, order a handful of new keys just on principle. Listen and observe as that small piece of metal is magically shaped to unlock doors and the wonders of life.

Eschew the plastic.

Keep it real.


Monday, November 23, 2015

Shop Right America!

Shopping.

We are coming into our annual shopping season which traditionally begins with Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when U.S. retailers sound the bell and Americans respond like Pavlov’s Dog. However, many outlets begin Black Friday early this year knowing gullible shoppers would react accordingly.

Why not have Black Friday every week and offer fake non-savings year-round? I’m not writing in this spot to make fun (as easy as that would be) of shoppers that will obediently queue in line this Friday at four a.m. to get deals they realistically could have gotten three days earlier or a week later.

Au contraire, I give these Pavlovians credit because they are the steadfast dinosaurs who still do their shopping by going to stores just like I did in my day, connecting through three buses and long miles away just to reach the nearest mall. Imagine that! Now days, more and more people do their entire spate of holiday shopping entirely online. Tap tap tap tap, fill in the credit card, and done!

Why get out and partake in holiday festivities and enjoy the camaraderie of actual human interaction when you can hermitize yourself like a serial killer or the Unibomber and shop soullessly? Better yet, have your purchases parachuted on your porch via drones to avoid even a cursory exchange with the UPS or FedEx guy.

Non-human shopping is all the rage.

Before I had true disposable income, I would visit the local Pizza Hut or call a local favorite to have some cheesy goodness delivered. But now you bypass even talking on the phone. You go to an app, click on a little pizza emoji. I bet for an additional charge your delivery guy will even drop it on your doorstep if you leave the cash under the doormat.

My favorite part of the week is a Sunday morning spent leisurely sauntering through my local Vons (Safeway for 90% of you outside of Los Angeles) kibitzing with employees and strolling through every aisle in a serpentine manner. Vons has taken to playing sixties, seventies and eighties music through its public address system.

(Don’t laugh, I used to be the guy who picked the music back in the day for the pool company and its 400 plus stores across the country. It’s harder than it seems!)

I try to match up song and product, nodding to Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” while juggling cans of Progresso’s Italian Wedding soup. This is an experience missed when you use Amazon’s Fresh and Pantry services, which deliver groceries right to you without (sadly) having to answer your door.

Shopping doesn’t mean just spending money. It should be an exercise in human interaction. Get out from the sterile spell of your computer. Venture into a store. Have a conversation that involves actual speaking and not texting. Enjoy the intoxicating early morning crisp air that goes hand-in-hand with waiting in near freezing temperatures counting down to that magical shopping hour. Be with others like you’ the real consumers who made America great. Not the lazy onliners who first killed Roebuck and now are going after going after Sears too, all to save a buck on gas.

Shop right America!


Friday, November 20, 2015

The Hunger Games World Tour and the Fashion of Jennifer Lawrence

Okay, so where am I?

There's been some rumor about a trip to Hungary to see the amazing architecture and take in the opera at the Hungarian State Opera House (amazing!). And, I may have needed to be in Hollywood to accept my Emmy (yeah, that's a thing, woo hoo!). And, I may or may not be stalking mirroring following uhhhhhhhhh, reporting on the global premieres of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 and the fashion of Jennifer Lawrence.

The London Premiere
For this column, let's go with The Hunger Games. By now, most of you know of my affinity for Ms Lawrence (read: Straight Out of Encino and Dreaming on the Oscars Red Carpet for a better taste of that), so this plum assignment was too good to pass up.

London, New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Berlin with a side trip to Hungary? Who am I to say no? All the big designers has showed up in style for the Oscar goddess: Burberry, Christian Dior, Dion Lee, Mugler, Thakoon, Schiaparelli, and Ralph Lauren,

The Los Angeles Premiere
So just when I was soaking in Jlaw's Jimmy Choo gold Dory sandals and her gorgeous, goofy command of the red carpet, I ran into Gaby Lorenzo, a Bay Area marketing genius and she shared why it’s nearly impossible not to draw parallels from the Hunger Games into your life and society.

But allow me to digress a moment with this JLaw tidbit from the world premiere roadie as she admitted on the Conan Show that she made a horrible mistake with her first tattoo. "I feel I have 'I’m stupid' tattooed on my hand permanently," she said. She added to is by telling us that she made a pact with her Hunger Games co-stars to all get tattoos when filming finally wrapped on the series of movies. She decided to get ‘H2O’ to "remind me to drink more water." But she admitted that she got the ‘2’ in the wrong spot - superscript above the other characters, rather than below. "It’s now H-squared!"

"I didn’t go to school...I’m an uneducated idiot."

Yet, I digress; back to The Hunger Games and its unique life lessons. Whether it’s politics, romance, business, or even pop culture, there are lessons we can draw from the trilogy and apply to our daily routines. Here key takeaways and lessons learned from the Suzanne Collins's fictional characters:

The New York Premiere
Develop relationships and network.

With 24 tributes participating in the games, it’s important that you make connections (think about your colleagues and business partners). Your friends and allies are your key assets. Whether you need food, medicine or weapons, all of the tributes must rely on the help of others. The Hunger Games are not something that you can participate in alone. Ask for help when you need it. Seek and create resources for yourself and your team. Everything we do is based on relationships and experiences we encounter with media, colleagues and prospects. The relationships we develop over time help us to produce good work and to continue to advance to new adventures, and ultimately grow. Like the arena in The Hunger Games, the world is smaller than you think, and every day I continue to remain surprised at how often paths will cross.

Your work ethic matters.

The Paris Premiere
At the end of the day, there is no shortcut to getting ahead. The shortcut is working hard. Determination is the key to success in all future endeavors. It’s the work, planning and preparation you put in along the way that gets you to the finish line. Like the tributes, PR professionals must remain committed and strategic in everything that they do to produce stellar results. Hard work rarely goes unnoticed in our industry, and the leaders in the arena like Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark exemplify these traits. They also showcase their many values: dedicated, smart, honorable and ballsy to name a few!

Showcase your skills and value.

The Berlin Premiere
Tributes in The Hunger Games must rely on their special skills. This will help them differentiate themselves from the other tributes. The core competencies that they possess cannot only help them win, but also to get sponsorships from the districts (think investors). This is the value-add, and the players in the arena must leverage their special skills – from hunting, to camouflage, to building a fire and even gathering food. In communications, it’s just as important to highlight your special skills. Are you a good writer? Do you know all of social media’s secrets? Familiar with analyst relations? Are you an expert in Adobe Illustrator? Flaunt those skills! Bring something to the table that no one else can offer. For our clients, they find our special skills to be most beneficial.

Just keep swimming.

The Madrid Premiere
While we are not fighting for our lives day-in and day-out, we need to remember to keep breathing. Naturally, the PR and marketing industry is not as hectic as the arena that the characters face. It’s important to look ahead and focus on the big picture – keep trekking through the workday. Whatever you do, just don’t give up. Finnick, a tribute in Mockingjay once said, “It’s better to not give in. It takes ten times as long to put your self back together as it does to fall apart.” Mind over matter in the games is key, and in real life, it absolutely holds meaning. Remember to stay motivated even when the days can get stressful. At the same time, remember that we aren’t saving lives.

As Effie Trinket would say, “May the odds be ever in your favor.”


AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER

What else could it be than the epic final trailer for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 and  its $40 plus marketing budget:


Friday, October 23, 2015

Innovation on the 101 Freeway

Okay, so where am I?

Well if it were just ten years ago, I would be waiting in line to buy my Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens movie ticket that comes out three months from now. The Internet made it so I could skip
Hollywood lines for the 1977 opening of the original Star Wars.
the lines and buy my tickets at a Los Angeles ArcLight Cinemas theater, in my car, on the traffic-snarled 101 freeway. Even then it wasn't easy as I searched fifteen different shows trying to find an assigned seat not in the first two rows. Mission was accomplished during my 52 minute commute.

Ticket sales were so brisk that it literally broke the internet (or parts of it). The Star Wars trailer is to the Internet what the Death Star is to Alderaan, crashing Fandango and Movietickets.com shortly after tickets were released. A couple of days ago, Imax reported $6.5 million in U.S. and Canadian advance ticket sales. This absolutely crushes box office numbers set by other highly anticipated hit films. The Hunger Games: Catching FireThe Dark Knight Rises, and The Avengers all raked in about $1 million each in similar sales.

Call me a nerd or a dork or whatever. Opening day for the seventh installment of Star Wars is an epic event (barely surpassing my South Korean movie opening [ha!]).

I'll be there opening day. And why wouldn't I? I mean listen to Han Solo (around the 1:11 mark) and the chills start in your ankles and climb up to your neck:

"It's true.

All of it.

The dark side.
The Jedi.
They're real."

All this Star Wars talk and Internet breakage got me wondering about innovation. Innovation for the your life. Innovation for the workplace. Innovation from your staff. Getting your people to contribute more to your organization while simultaneously establishing stronger talent retention must cost a pretty penny, right? Not really, says corporate coach Maxine Attong.

Want to know more? Buy the book!
“You don’t necessarily need to add expensive new ingredients to the stew, you just have to know how to use your ingredients better,” she says. “A talented chef – or in this case, corporate or organizational leader – knows how to let an ingredient speak for itself, perhaps with just a touch of seasoning, or guidance.”

What is the guidance – competition or incentives such as bonuses? Not exactly.

“Most employees want to have more input,” says Attong, a certified facilitator and author of Lead Your Team to Win: Achieve Optimal Performance By Providing A Safe Space For Employees. “However, personal issues, fear of being laughed at or anxiety of not getting credit can stymie contributions from a leader’s staff.”

If a leader can engender a real sense of trust, the organization will benefit both from the individual and the team’s ingenuity. A reliable way of establishing a trusting climate is to make team members feel safe, says Attong, who offers five steps for doing so.

  • Share responsibility; practice “I” statements: With openness, encourage interaction by having team members and leaders enforce the rules and monitor the use of common space. When members break the rules, the team discusses the problems and decides on the sanctions and steps necessary to assist the member in following the rules next time. Speakers are discouraged from using the word “you.” Instead, they use “I.” This simple yet effective practice encourages personal culpability and discourages blame.
  • Consistency: Teams need to consistently follow the agreed-upon rules as they set the boundaries and the tone for relationships. Following the rules makes the behavior in the space predictable, which limits uncertainty and increases feelings of safety. Consistent application of the rules helps the team to increase trust as behavior becomes prescriptive and members know more or less what will happen in the room and how they will be treated.
  • Judgment: The members must feel that they are not being judged. If someone says that an idea is bad, the speaker will shut down and feel embarrassed. In the future that speaker will hesitate to give ideas, since he feels his ideas may not be good enough for the team. Less confident team members may refrain from presenting ideas if they are uncertain of the quality of the ideas. However, many ideas that may seem strange or unorthodox at first can wind up being some of the best.
  • Good intentions: Not all team members are effective communicators so it may be difficult for some people to frame and cogently express their thoughts.

“I assume all team members have good intentions and want a positive outcome,” Attong says. “Even though what I am hearing may be contrary to that assumption, I hold on to the thought so that I am able to fully understand what the member is saying before I react.”

When listening this way, the leader delays having a reaction and has time to assess the situation before responding. When the leader has emotionally detached from the situation, he can then ask questions to clarify the situation.

  • Norming: By this point, team members seem to embrace each other and there is a spirit of togetherness. Do not be fooled by this. This doesn’t mean that your team has normed—that each team member makes decisions that advance the goals of the team. It means that the safe space concept has allowed them to see each other in a more neutral light and accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. While the space may act as an accelerator or catalyst for the team to norm, it is not magic. It does not mean that whatever problems existed within the team before have miraculously disappeared. The leader still needs to pay attention and check the team temperature. Regular team meetings and team building sessions should still be conducted.

Want your own Star Wars? Buy the book!

Other things I discovered this week...

The death and life of the great British pub

Across the country, pubs are being shuttered at an alarming rate – scooped up by developers and ransacked for profit – changing the face of neighborhoods and turning our beloved locals into estate agents, betting shops, and luxury flats. This is the story of how one pub fought back.

What It’s Like to Vacation in North Korea? Look no further:


THE MANAGERS HAVE BEEN ZAPPED

The New Republic goes inside a radical experiment at Zappos, in Las Vegas, to end the office workplace as we know it.

AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER

Do You Know What Your Marketing Is Doing? | Adobe Marketing Cloud

What better way to celebrate the success of The Martian than an with the ultimate brand fail set around a space launch commercial?

The brand represented in the "Do You Know What Your Marketing Is Doing?" spot by Adobe Marketing Cloud and Goodby, Silverstein & Partners is AstroBoost, an energy drink you've never heard of. The spot brilliantly showcases that advertising doesn't have to be rocket science. Take a peak:

Thursday, October 15, 2015

NSFW: Personal Brand

If Esquire says you are, you can bet that it's true.
While Playboy scraped the bottom of the marketing barrel to find a way to be even less relevant, Esquire magazine named Emilia Clarke the "Sexiest Woman Alive", because, well, you know, the Internet is fueled by nudity and hints of nudity and fake nudity.

You know what has a whole lot of nudity?

Game of Thrones. 

It’s the entire point of the show. On that note, it's probably worth noting that Khaleesi no longer does nude scenes, instead handing the reins over to her almost twenty year old body double.

Yet I digress and I'm only a paragraph into this thing and I haven't had my 4p hash browns from the new all-day breakfast menu at McDonald's.

Okay, so where am I?

Before I get to where I am, I have to tell you that I am pretty relieved that I am not a narcissist; this according to Joseph Burgo, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of "The Narcissist You Know." He reports that common traits of narcissism include constantly feeling under appreciated, thinking everyone else is stupid, and feeling justified in acting mean to people.

If they only still had a McDanish!
But there's one key trait that distinguishes narcissists from everyone else: an absence of interest in other people and the inability to feel for them.

So if you're already disinterested with my ramblings, perhaps you have a bunch of narcissism running through your veins.

OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE DIGRESSIONS.

So, I was in Austin, Texas at the American Marketing Association where the highlight of the conference was the amazing presentation by Guy Kawasaki outlining his ten tips for innovative marketing and soon you'll see why I brought up Playboy, Game of Thrones and McDonald's.

Turn on the television, pick up a newspaper or visit the Internet and you will be inundated with messages about brand products.

Tide is a brand. Pepsi is a brand. Nike is a brand.

And so are you – or at least you should be.

Speak with Marsha Friedman, a public relations expert with 25 years’ experience developing publicity strategies for celebrities, corporations and media newcomers alike, and she will tell you, "If you open a dictionary, the word 'brand' is defined as a type of product manufactured by a particular company under a particular name. These days you need to be that product. Keeping your personal brand alive is a must for success in today’s marketplace."

Personal branding has gotten a lot more buzz in recent times and has become an important tool for everyone who wants to improve their career or business opportunities. Touting the need for personal branding is the essence of her new book, Celebritize Yourself. (Fifteen smacks on Amazon.)

When you think about it, though, personal branding is not new. It’s just that more people have the means to do it today and, fortunately, the Internet has provided us with numerous ways to create and maintain a personal brand.

The former king of personal branding
But many entertainers and athletes thrived at it long ago. Many of us remember the song “Happy Trails” from our childhood.  Roy Rogers was the movie and TV cowboy who made this song popular and whose name and image appeared on toy holsters, lunch boxes, comic books, puzzles, coloring books and other merchandise in the 1940s and 1950s.

Roy is a great example of someone who was ahead of his time with personal branding although he stumbled into it unintentionally. The story goes, he wanted a raise from his movie studio, but the boss balked. Bummed out by the response, Roy asked for what he considered a consolation prize – all rights to his name and likeness.

As it turned out, that was no consolation prize. Roy soon figured out that he – not the studio – was the big winner in the negotiations. Any raise would have been paltry next to the money he raked in from Roy Rogers brand merchandise.

Here’s an additional lesson about personal branding that Roy Rogers provides us. Younger people don't know who Roy Rogers is today. When you mention his name you typically get a puzzled expression. Even the best personal branding, you see, doesn’t last forever. It has to be nurtured continually. (Roy, of course, nurtured his brand his entire life, and it was only the passage of time after his death that caused it to fade, so we’ll give him a break.) I mean even the greatest Christmas movie of all time, Die Hard, had a special tribute to the great cowboy:


The rest of us get no break and the message is clear: Don’t rest on your laurels, or in your saddle, whichever is appropriate.

So what can you do to get your personal brand launched and keep it alive? Here are a few suggestions.

•  Make sure your website represents you exactly the way you want to be seen. This is one of the best places to control your image. That could mean you want to be viewed as witty, intellectual or physically fit. It could mean you want the world to see you as an expert in a particular field. Maybe you want to convey an image of trust. Roy Rogers was the clean-cut hero wearing a smile and a cowboy hat. What’s your image?
  • •Maintain a strong social media presence. Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and other social media sites are invaluable tools for networking or getting your message out quickly under your personal brand. Also, make sure you have a unified message that weaves through your website, your social media sites and anything else you use to promote yourself. Design elements should be consistent from one platform to the next as well.
  • Keep your presence alive in traditional media, too, making yourself available for interviews. Media appearances act as a third-party endorsement, casting you as an authority in your field. This also needs constant cultivation. If you were quoted in a newspaper article last year, then you’re last year’s news. Even worse, if your competitor is quoted in an article today, they’ve become more relevant than you and are winning the personal-branding war.
  • Branding yourself is not a one-shot deal. One of the biggest misconceptions about branding is that people expect to do one or two things to promote themselves and then figure they are done. Nothing could be further from the truth. Your branding effort never stops. It’s like trying to become physically fit. You don’t go to the gym for one week to get your dream body – nor would you expect that a good workout three years ago would leave you set for life. Your personal branding effort is the same way. It’s ongoing.
The bottom line is that creating a personal brand is one of the keys to success in today’s world. By branding yourself – making sure the world knows who you are and the expertise you have to offer – you not only set yourself apart from your competitors but you also open the door to new opportunities.

AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER

Bonds Underwear

The new Bonds Underwear ad has balls! Talking ball where the family jewels banter about life down under. Their lives are improved dramatically with the arrival of a new pair of undies:



Sunday, September 20, 2015

Melting on the Emmys Red Carpet

Okay, so where am I?

Yes, indeed I am at the newly named Microsoft Theatre (formerly the Nokia Theatre) in Downtown Los Angeles at the Primetime Emmy Awards. Before I talk about the triple digit heat on the red carpet, I must declare that I really want to party with three women:

While I was backstage eyeing up one of those golden statues, the biggest highlight came Apple Music as they premiered they new spot featuring Taraji P. Henson and Kerry Washington hanging with Mary J. Blige at her crib fantasizing about mix tapes and doing air drums to Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight". I mean, really! This is everyman's dream, isn't it? (Incidentally, this also counts as the winner of my regular feature, "AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER".)

Back to the heat...the way you heard celebrities talking about the scorching City of Angels heat, you might have thought they were preparing to join Lawrence of Arabia in the Arab Revolt. There was a lot of moaning about the heat and, I think, Mario Lopez lost 42 ounces of water surrounding all those muscles:

I wasn't too far from E! News's Giuliana Rancic and every time she stopped one of the nominees they moaned about how they were making the intolerable expedition from their air-conditioned limousines to the air-conditioned Microsoft Theater without needing an IV for their dehydration. I bet most were secretly wishing they were in Celine Dion's old Caesars Palace digs with her special climate control system while their tuxedos and Haute Couture melted on the red carpet. Ah, the struggle!

Amish Kitteridge starrring Frances McDormand
The fashion was interesting to say the least. Leading the best dressed were Taraji P. Henson from Empire, Jaimie Alexander from NBC's Blindspot (see gallery below), and me! There was the Heidi Klum yellow canary disaster too. But my pick for the "I Didn't Think the Emmys Were This Weekend So I Didn't Shop for a Dress" goes to Academy Award- (and now) Emmy Award-winning actress Frances McDormand who showed up looking like she rode all week from the Amish farm in preparation. Yikes!

Another Michael (over at Dlisted) noted that in the 67 years that the Emmys have existed, Viola is the only black woman to win the Lead Actress in a Drama trophy and that’s just crazy to me. Viola used all of her time on stage to talk about the lack of good lead roles for black actresses. She started with a Harriet Tubman quote and went on to say that “the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.”


Viola preached! But not everyone was screaming “TELL IT” Meryl Streep-style over Viola’s powerful speech.

Nancy Lee Grahn, known as Alexis Davis to people who watch General Hospital and known as “WHO?!” to people who don’t, was not into what Viola said. Nancy Lee basically screamed “ALLACTRESSLIVESMATTER” on Twitter and went on and on and on.

Mikkos Cassadine needs to come and get his daughter, because Nancy Lee said that Viola is a member of the TV elite who has never faced discrimination and that the Emmy stage wasn’t the place to bring up racial issues in Hollywood. Nancy Lee deleted a few of her tweets, but something called “shift + command + 4″ exists and so Buzzfeed and others screen shot her “greatest hits.”

I don’t know why everyone hated on Nancy Lee. I mean, I, for one, learned something from her rant. The African American history professor tweeted (and deleted) this:
"Heard it and went oh lord ur a great actress just accept it and I heard Harriet Tubman and I thought Its a fucking emmy for gods sake. She wasn't digging thru a tunnel."
Nancy Lee is educating us all, because I did not know that the Underground Railroad was an actual tunnel dug by Harriet Tubman.

After Nancy Lee got dragged back and forth and continued to defend herself by saying that she can’t believe she’s getting so much hate, she took back everything she said and farted up this apology:
"I apologize for my earlier tweets and now realize I need to check my own privilege. My intention was not to take this historic and important moment from Viola Davis or other women of color but I realize that my intention doesn’t matter here because that is what I ended up doing. I learned a lot tonight and I admit that there are still some things I don’t understand but I am trying to and will let this be a learning experience for me."
Translation: “My agent and the executives at ABC made me type this.”

My reaction: Let people have their time and speak with the people they want to speak about. Maybe Nancy Lee needs to read The Secret and gain the power of being positive!

Red Carpet Gallery
January Jones is no Better Draper...wowza!
The Media Guy's Instagram Feed!
The Most Beautiful Couple Award: Sophia Vergara and What's-His-Name
Congrats! That was an amazing speech.
First Coca-Cola and now an Emmy...what an exit for Don Draper.
Matt LeBlanc is still one cool cat.
Maybe it was Jaimie Alexander who brought the heat to the red carpet.
Heidi...Versace...Really?!
Taraji...I'll make you a mixtape any day!
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The most successful comedienne of all time.



Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Nicki Minaj took my seat in business class, plus a visit with Flight Girl Daniela!

Okay, so where am I?


I'm down on the ground once again. And not a second too soon because flying coach is a special trip to hell. I have to tell you that years of flying business and first class has spoiled me to the point where I need my mimosa before taking off or the whole experience is a bust.

Guess who was the loudest a-hole on my flight?
My flight featured a guy who insisted on being overly loud and half-naked, a twentysomething reading the latest issue of Guns & Ammo (always refreshing in a post-9/11 apocalypse), a psychic in the back of the plane doing some seance with her entourage in the back of the plane, candy bar lunches, and (rumor has it) Nicki Minaj in my business class seat.

Apparently Ms. Minaj took a break from her various Twitter scorned earth campaigns to harass a couple of the first class flight attendants. The stories of her belittling behavior floated back to the cheap seats pretty fast with reports of her ordering vodka cranberries at warp speed and once the flight attendant delivered the drink, she would take a single sip and demand another. She wasn't alone, as her entire crew did the same thing until all of the mini bottles were gone.

Yeah, uh, you stay classy San Diego!

This story prompted a long overdue visit with one of my best buddies: Flight Girl Daniela. I know what you are thinking, "Flight Girl"?, why in the world would I call her that? You I know she's a flight attendant. However, sorry folks, Daniela doesn't take herself that seriously and actually makes passengers call her Flight Girl. For those of you who don't know, the two columns we teamed on (December 2012's "Flying the Friendly Skies" and April 2014's "Daniela::Deux") are still ranked in the top 10 Media Guy Struggles all-time reads, combining for 200,000+ page views.

We met at a Hollywood deli. She had the matzo ball soup and I had bagel chips with a side of well-done pickles. She arrived in uniform with perfect make-up and a pilot's hat she lifted from her last flight with the promise to return it at her leisure. I asked her about Nicki's action in first class and she said that's normal for a the divas. She reported that even the divas of yesteryear can be a nightmare when the drink orders come in.

"One of the legendary stories they always tell us is about Lucy (Lucille Ball). On flights, no one could not speak to her, even for drink orders -- you had to ask her assistant what Lucy wanted to drink. Another time, one of our sisters in flight accidentally dropped a glass of water on her and Lucy insisted it was okay, but when another glass was delivered, Lucy tossed the contents in her face and screeched, 'How do you like it now?'".

None of all of this bad behavior bothered the flight attendants (aka stewardesses, aka sexy stews) of the 1950s, 60s and 70s more than the way airlines used women and sex to sell air travel. There was even a secret public relations push to glorify the Mile High Club to make being in the air sexier that being on the ground.

"From objectifying women as maps to the promise of someone getting a wife out of their cross-country flight, airlines have long used women to sell tickets'" says Daniela.

With that, we spent lunch talking about fifteen of the most recognizable Triple S ("Sex Sells Seats") ads that appeared in the pages of some of the biggest magazines ever in print:
1. Finnair - Summer Routes Ad (1968). No need for a real map. Use the back of a curvy brunette. Once you get to Finland, you can plan your pleasure route.
2. United Airlines  - The former Miss Butterfingers Ad (1967): The ad reads "...two months ago, Sheri Woodruff couldn't even balance a cup of coffee. But she was friendly, intelligent, and attractive..." I am so glad she was at least attractive!
3. United Airlines - Old Maid ad (1967). They called her an old maid because she's been flying for almost three years! None of that matters because "...everyone gets warmth, friendliness and extra care. And someone may get a wife..." Wow, coffee, tea or a wife! Sheesh!
4. PSA Airlines - Famous Stewardesses Radio ad (1969). Imagine hearing this on the radio today: 
“Right now PSA, the airline that is famous for its stewardesses, is looking for girls. Yes..girls to fill a cute orange mini-uniform…girls who smile and mean it…girls who give other people a lift. Now if you’re single, 18 1/2 to 26 years old, 5 foot 1 to 5 foot 9, 105 to 135 pounds, have a high school diploma or better–come in for an interview at the Los Angeles International Airport stewardesses department Tuesday or Thursday. PSA is an Equal Opportunity Employer” 
Yeah, uh, equal opportunity except the age, sex, height, weight, and marital status parts!
5. United Airlines - The Glamorous Life ad (1966). How great is it that that evolved from the specs of the original stewardess?: "Registered nurse, not over 25 years of age, weighing 115 lbs. or less, not over five feet four inches tall." The consolation is at least they edited out "bride ready' in the final copy.
6. American Airlines - Beautiful Girls (1967). I mean thank the heavens for American Airlines because they couldn't possibly '...afford the sweet young thing who just stands there...' and we were so much better for it.
7. United Airlines - Come Back Soon ad (1966): Only on United...a special brand of work prostitution: "You went to sleep after dinner. Why not? You work hard. When the flight landed, the stewardess smiled goodbye like she really meant it. She does. She even straightened your boutonniere. You get this kind of 'extra care' every time you fly with us." What else do you get?
8. TWA - It’s A Man’s World ad (1953). The only airline ad we could find that didn't devalue women and refused to trade on a woman's body and racial profile as the core checklist in their advertising campaigns.
9. TWA - Foreign Accents ad (1968). It's a shame the TWA ads of the late 1960s couldn't mimic their predecessors from the 1950s. Really, how great would it be to select one of your four hostesses on TWA?: "...they come in four styles with hostesses to match: Italian (see toga), French (see gold mini), Olde English (see wench). And Manhattan penthouse (see hostess pajamas—after all all hostesses should look like this, right?)" Toga? Wench? This is about as low as it gets."

  10. British Overseas Airways Corporation - She's an Art in Herself ad (1965). She's a renaissance woman. She can do it all, just take their word for it: "Whether she's decorating a house, or cooking Moo Goo Gai Pen, the result is always beautiful. If Lancy's aboard your next BOAC flight to the Orient, watch every move closely. She's an art in herself."

11. Japan Airlines - How to Train and Airline Hostess (1959). This ad could also be called How to Train Your Future Foreign Wife...take a read: "A Japanese girl is taught from childhood the satisfaction of doing something for its own sake....You feel her real desire to please you, and only you. For she satisfies herself only as she succeeds in making you happy."
12. American Airlines - Conrad Hilton ad (1966). American somehow tried to justify that women are just products with this stellar copy: "Flying just isn't much of a thrill for Mr. Hilton anymore. He expects attention for his money."

13. Delta - One Girl ad (1967). The Me Decade was thirteen years ahead of us, but Delta still found a way to make it all about you: "Only one girl is important. The one on your flight. The one who serves you."

14. British Overseas Airways Corporation - all her Suki ad (1964). Isn't it great she is more thank just beautiful? After all, she "can serve you sake, sushi, and teriyaki steak with ancestral grace."

15. Air France - Beautiful French Hostess (1967). Hook 'em with the beautiful French hostess, devalue them in very next sentence of copy and then on with the sales pitch..."Beautiful French girls alone do not make Air France, Air France."


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EDITOR'S NOTE: 
Part 2:
Read part one of Daniela and Michael here.

Part 3:
Read part three of Daniela and Michael here.