Cardboard Magic

I believe hockey cards have supernatural powers.

This is why, in the winter of 1975, I starting arranging my Los Angeles Kings cards like players on a hockey rink on the top of my mammoth hand-me-down stereo console. And then challenged the NHL All Stars—or at least the cards I was able to collect—to a game of pickup hockey on top of the console. My “rink” was oblong and the perfect length for a fantasy game. There were even miniature nets I cobbled together from old metal tubing and bakery string from the pink boxes from the store around the corner.

This was my pre-game ritual before road games and it made the post-homework, pre-parent evening arrivals go faster. Just before the games would face-off usually on the radio (there were few televised road games back in the mid-70s), I would set the the cards out. Starters on the hardwood ice and reserves side-by-side in a makeshift bench constructed out of old quart-sized milk cartons. Then I would walk behind the bench and shift out the players as Bob Miller and Rich Marotta let me know who was on the ice and on the bench.

The cards were voodoo to me, every bit as powerful as the Six Million Dollar Man and on par with the Millennium Falcon’s holographic chess players. I knew, laid out on the stereo, with their energy unbridled, and with my calm benchside manner utilizing my Carrie-like telekinetic powers, that all of this would make a difference, make all the difference, in the outcome of the game.

I used to put hexes on Bobby Orr. I (wrongfully) took credit for his bad knees when I read about them in The Hockey News (sorry Bob). I tore up my extra Gerry Cheevers card and tossed it in the freezer before the game six of the 1976 quarter finals went into overtime. Sure enough, Butch Goring solved Cheevers late in overtime forcing a game seven. Maybe if I had a second Cheevers card for game seven things might have turned out different that year.

These days, hockey cards aren’t distributed like they used to be. You could get them at any convenience store or supermarket. You could even buy them at the Fabulous Forum souvenir stands. The full-sized hockey sticks were $7, pucks were $1, and a wax pack of Topps hockey cards were $1.25. Now, the only place I can find them are on eBay or enclosed in authenticated plastic and up for auction.*

When I was first collecting, hockey cards were about memories. You held Gil Perraeult’s card in your hand and you pictured his smooth, effortless skating and the flight of his laser-infused puck spinning towards the back of the net. You saw in the close-up shot of Bobby Clarke the steely eyes you’d gotten a glimpse of on TV weeks before, peeking out from under his shaggy locs as he racked up another 12 minutes in penalties and two more goals. The 1976-77 cards featured cartoons with fun facts. I mean how would I every know that Rogie Vachon was very superstitious and Guy LaFleur’s last name meant “flower.”

Many cards featured bad haircuts and goofy smiles. These players could be your favorite uncle who came to visit only at Thanksgiving. These guys might get you that slice of pie or extra piece of white meat. Those feelings never leave you. It’s about the way a card, for whatever reason, lingers with you, loiters in the imagination, as does some kind of magic.

I was an only child, and my parents were divorced. My dad was an old baseball guy, so the hockey fascination wasn’t something he understood too much. My hockey card addiction wasn’t inherited, nor was it influenced by dad or other family members. The great thing about dad is that he married well. His second wife worked in the Fabulous Forum’s ticket office, so we would get tickets to any Kings game that wasn’t a sellout (meaning lots of home games). When I was eight, I regularly went to games by myself (don’t worry, in 1976 this was good parenting). At the games, I knew every usher, every concessions person, and every ticket seller. I traded cards with some of them. I got a perspective of the adult world that served me well.

I’ll know former Kings winger Bob Nevin’s stats until I die. Nevin scored 64 goals, had 113 assists, and amassed 45 penalty minutes in 235 games in a Kings’ uniform. Why the obsession with a run-of-the-mill winger on his fourth NHL team? Seems he was dating a friend of dad’s second wife whom I had a crush on. It seemed like every pack of cards I opened after that discovery had his face in it. He was clean cut with a perfect jaw and wore the expression of an engineer launching spaceships into outer space. I analyzed those numbers to death wondering how Bob Nevin could land someone like her. Back then, though, all my eight-year-old self knew was that he was a somebody, and I seemed to have a shoe box stuffed to the gills with his nobody cards.

Over time, as we get older, the cards—the collecting, the sorting, the trading, the hours spent in their company and in the company of friends and family who let me think they felt their magic, too—became memories themselves.

So this year where my father passed away at 70, it wasn’t the stories at his funeral, the old photographs or the memories from his friends and colleagues that made it possible to wrap my mind around him being gone. It was a card. Back at dad’s place after the services, I stood in his spare bedroom and looked at the frames and the books on his shelves, and then I saw it, the Gerry Cheevers torn card, fused back together with that cheap, yellowed tape, perched on the shelf in front of his cigar boxes, sitting there like some sacred object on an altar. Like Dad, Cheevers looked like he was the cat who ate the canary, like he was having a last laugh, like he was giving me the business and up to something.

I took the card down off the shelf and carved up a milk carton and placed him on the bench this time. And then I paced around the bedroom listening to the Kings game in somewhat of a trance. Missing dad. Feeling good and bad at once. Knowing everything was different. Feeling somehow, just for a moment, as if it were all the same.

------

* - Here are some beauties up for auction this month. But please, don’t bid against me!

Backstage at the Oscars: 2019

Okay, so where am I? 

It's been a light red carpet season. I've only done two—the Grammys and now today at the Academy Awards. Nothing is better that than when your feet hit that Oscars burgundy carpet. Your imagination soars and you can't help by daydream of carrying a thirteen-and-a-half-inch tall, eight-and-a-half pound golden statuette.

In good news for the Academy, the telecast drew a 7.7 rating for the ever-valuable demographic adults 18-49 and 29.6 million overall viewers. That's up from a 6.8 rating and 26.5 million last year, or an increase of 12%. In bad news, this year was the second smallest audience ever for an Oscars telecast.

I am very unhappy to report that my agent has been M.I.A. once again as hope and pray one of my four scripts or two (yet unpublished) books find a way to be developed into a real movie. Alas, no movie this year, but I did pick up a sweet gig writing NHL and Los Angeles Kings columns this past year (no help from my agent, thank you!).

So for the eighth straight year, here's my first-hand view of the happenings backstage at the 91st Academy Awards:

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH:
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Rami Malek: Wait a second. Let's hold on. Am I one of the last ones here? Well, I just want to say thank you guys for being here. And I will say this: I don't think critically the decision on this film was unanimous, but I do appreciate everything you guys had to write. As a kid, I read criticism of film, and I learned so much from it. So no matter what, I still do very much appreciate you. Thank you.

Q: I don't know how I can follow that. Congratulations, first of all, and I know you've heard that a lot tonight. But I have to ask, please explain to us and describe for us when you first got this role and what happened exactly at that moment and when did this role become a reality for you? When did it really hit you that you're playing Freddie Mercury?

Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

RM: I really got blessed. Last night Mr. Spielberg, he had his daughter come up to me and say, hey, make sure you say hi to Rami Malek. It would mean a lot to me and it would mean a lot to him. So I had a seminal moment in my life where I knew some auteurs could influence my life. Since then, I'm about to begin Season 4 of Mr. Robot with Sam Esmail. And in the middle of the second, no, the third season, while we were working on that, I got a call from Graham King and Dennis O'Sullivan to meet them in Los Angeles, and they were fans of Mr. Robot. And I don't know how they thought a young man who felt so alienated, profoundly alienated, with such social anxiety could ever play Freddie Mercury. But the one thing that was beautiful about it was I started to discover that in this audacious, present, communicative, powerful human being there was a sense of loneliness and a sense of anxiety, and I could relate the two together. So I thank them for discovering that in me, but I do have to thank so many great auteurs who have brought me to the point where I felt confident in my work. And Spike Lee is one of them. Alfonso Cuarón is one of them. Paul Thomas Anderson is one of them. Sam Esmail is definitely one of them. The list goes on. But it was the confidence that they all imbued in me to be able to think that I could take on this challenge. Then , well, that's a long story. And Tom Hanks. Let's not forget Tom Hanks.

Q: Allow me on behalf of all the Arab world to say congratulations. We're so happy that you won with the participation of three nominees this year from the Arab world. You have the trophy.I read that you grew up loving Umm Kulthum and Omar Sharif and there's plenty of Arab young talents growing up now loving Rami Malek. If it's not too much to ask, can we get your answer? What would you say to these guys or ladies, in Arabic, if possible?

RM: Well, I will begin by saying [speaks Arabic.] I would say that as a young man, my sister was born in Egypt. I think when I grew up as a kid, I wanted part of me felt like I need to shed some of that. I wanted to I didn't feel like I fit in. I definitely felt like the outsider. And as I got older, I realized just how beautiful my heritage and my tradition is, and the wealth of culture and magic and music and film and just pure art that comes out of the Middle East. And now I'm so privileged to represent it. And to anyone from there, and for that matter the entire world, we all got a shot at this. We really do.

Q: You gave a beautiful speech in which it seems like it talks a lot about what happened tonight. There was a lot of inclusion it seems, a lot of films that have been talking about that aspect, and I wonder how much in that respect that this Oscar of yours now fits into that and reflects that.

RM: It's a political question, and I appreciate it, but...

Q: No, no. I mean, I'm talking about the inclusion of the films.

RM: Yeah. I will say, look, I mean, I grew up in a world where I never thought I was going to play the lead on Mr. Robot because I never saw anyone in a lead role that looked like me. I never thought that I could possibly play Freddie Mercury until I realized his name was Farrokh Bulsara, and that is the most powerful message that was sent to me from the beginning. That was the motivation that allowed me to say, oh, I can do this. And that man steps on stage and he moves people in a way that no one else does, and he has ability to look everyone in the eye and see them for who they are. And that's because he was struggling to identify himself. And all of that passion and virtue and everything burning inside of him allowed him to look to everybody else and say, hey, I see you. Not right here in the front; I see you there in the back. I see all of you, I will play to all of you, and together we will transcend. Because it's not about being from one place or looking like one thing, one race. Any of that. We are all human beings. And forgive me for this, but collectively we are all the champions.

Q: Rami, I just was wondering after you finished shooting the film, how did you feel about your own performance? Did you know that it was special and that it might end up in an Academy Award?

RM: I've got to say, being on that stage, I think I may have I don't know how I looked on that stage, but I never thought this would happen in my life. The one thing I can say about this as an actor, and there are so many of us who only dream of one thing. And perhaps it's not this; it's just getting a job. So the fact that I have this in my hand right now is beyond excuse me any expectation that myself or perhaps my family could have ever had. And I'll just say that. I mean, this has been a tough battle, and I think you all know about it, and the fact that I'm here celebrating with you is proof that a lot of things can be overcome, and that anything is possible. And tonight I'm celebrating with all of you. And anyone who has a dream, it can happen. Thank you.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH:
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Q: Your speech touched me and was hilarious. Frankly, how much of that was prepared?

Olivia Colman: None of it. And I've just been told I completely forgot Melissa and Yalitza as well, so but, you know, it's not an everyday occurrence. So I don't know how anyone is composed and remembers everything because it's a very weird situation. But to those two beautiful women I forgot to say thank you to.

Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

Q: Congratulations. Massive congratulations on the win. Where are you going to put your Oscar statue at? Where is it going to go?

OC: In bed with me, between me and my husband. He doesn't know yet.

Q: I knew you were one of the great actors as soon as I saw you in TYRANNOSAUR years ago. How do you go about finding the tragic and the absurd and vice versa, because that is what you do so beautifully in this role? It's hilarious and shattering.

OC: Well, that is lovely of you. No, that is a lovely thing for you to say. Thank you very much. I don't know.

Q: So, first of all, Broad Church is not coming back; right?

OC: No, we've done three. That's it. Sorry.

Q: That's it. Okay. Were you expecting this at all, because the reaction

OC: No.

Q: both here at the ceremony was you were completely blind sided.

OC: Yeah.

Q: Blind sided by it. So how does it feel, like, to do this?

OC: I have no idea. I could not tell you what I'm feeling. Next year, I might I'll be able to put it into words, but I don't know what to do with myself at the moment.

Q: What prepared you for this role?

OC: The script was amazing, and then you just do what's written down, I think. Without the writers, without words, we are just bumbling around, miming. So if the script is good, it's all there. I think.

Q: How old are your kids, and are they watching or not?

OC: They are watching, because they are here.

Q: So they are in a hotel room watching it, or...

OC: No, we borrowed my agent's house.

Q: And how old are they?

OC: 13, 11, and 3. There was a gap. I had to persuade my husband for a few years.

Q: What would Queen Anne say to you right now?

OC: Have some cake. Blue cake. Eat too much blue cake. If you had seen the film, it makes sense. It wasn't just a weird things to say.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH:
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Q: How sweet was it to have your mom there in the front row with you? Obviously, you gave much praise to her during your acceptance speech. What did it mean to you to have her there tonight?

Regina King: It's hard to, like, put it in words really quickly. I feel like kind of like one of those full circle moments because so much of the character Sharon Rivers was mapped or inspired by my mother and my grandmother. So to have her there, my family was there, my sister, Reina, my son, Ian, were there. They are both here tonight. And it goes by so fast, and you want to thank so many people, and your mind just goes blank. And, you know, my mom was like the lighthouse right there. And...mmm, just everything.

Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

Q: how was it to get to say those words and play somebody who believed, you know, to the depth of their soul

RK: Yes.

Q: About love?

RK: Love. Persevering. I mean, If Beale Street Could Talk is a beautiful film, a beautiful novel before it was thank you before it was a film you might be clapping for somebody else, but I'm going to take that. Thank you. And where we are to your point, where we are right now, I think that's it's a film that is breaks through a lot of the sections that are exist right now. You know, love is that thing that pushes us through trauma. You know, this is an urban tragedy, but tragedy is a is something that is experienced no matter what sex you are, no matter what race you are; and love and support is usually what pushes us through, which gets us to the other side. So I think this film is so needed right now because we need a lot of help getting through the other side and seeing how how much we are alike. We are different in a lot of ways. Absolutely. Our circumstances are so different; but it's to the core, to the core, we are really a lot alike.

Q: Four hundred years ago this year in 1619, the first slaves were brought to Jamestown. Talk to me a little bit about what it means to stand here today winning your first Academy Award, the same place where, you know, Hattie McDaniel, and so many others who may have been discounted?

RK: Well, I mean, it's I mean, I think it kind of piggybacks on what we were just saying in the last question: That it means so much for me personally, because you guys aren't able to witness this, but the love and support and the lifting up that I have received on my journey as an actor in just this last five months, how many people have been rooting for me, and it has not just been black people; although, you know, the black family has always lifted me. But it's just a reminder of when Hattie McDaniel won. She didn't win just because black people voted for her. She won because she gave an amazing performance. And especially then, the Academy was was not as reflective as it is now. We are still trying to get more reflective, still trying to get there. But I feel like I've had so many women that have paved the way, are paving the way, and I feel like I walk in their light, and I also am creating my own light. And there are young women that will walk in the light that I'm continuing to shine and expand from those women before me. You know, I'm blessed and highly favored.

Q: So I'm thinking about that very climactic scene when you confronted you and Emily Rios

RK: Yes.

Q: ...and it's such a visceral and emotionally raw scene. So I wanted to ask you, What particular source did you draw from to portray such emotion?

RK: You know, all of us, we just pulled on being women, and we have all been in if we have not experienced a violation on that level firsthand, we have lifted a sister up through that. And that, you know, even all the way from when the abuelitas came in and escorted her off, that was something that was universal. Every woman that had something to do with this production, the understanding and the need to make sure that it was very clear in the story that we all knew that she was raped. It wasn't Fonny, but she was raped. And we hold each other up through a secret that shouldn't be a secret. So often, that's the beautiful thing about the Me Too Movement, and the Me Too Movement has I think have gone has gone even beyond that with creating opportunities for women to find their voice even beyond just being violated sexually, but being marginalized, being violated. When you have put in the work to be at the table and being denied a seat at the table, this movement has allowed us and has inspired us to say no, I am supposed to have a seat at that table. So that energy was going on throughout the production of that film of this film. Barry supported that and lifted it up as well. And that's the thing. When you have men and women working together, pretty amazing things happen.

Q: If Beale Street Could Talk was a very important part of American literature before this movie. What do you think James Baldwin would say right now and feel about this win and about the movie?

RK: I think one word, something that he would say often, amen.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH:
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Q: And your other movie won, too, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

Mahershala Ali: Yes. Spider-Verse.

Q: This film is about people changing each other, or they're changing because of what they go through. How did this film change you? Could you put that into words? I meant the making of it, obviously.

MA: Well, I never it was the first time that I had that kind of responsibility. I've always been very fortunate to contribute to stories in a more limited way, and this was the first time in which there was a good degree of the time I was at work in there all day every day, you know, or all day during the week, you know. And so to to shoulder that, to shoulder more responsibility than I've been accustomed to shouldering, to have to play a character that had attributes that were very different from my own; so, therefore, I had to let certain things go that were in my personality in order to to take on and embrace other attributes that that man had. It was it was constantly sort of having sort of negotiating and finding my way to locking into a truth and finding his essence, you know. And so I was really just grateful for failing and succeeding at times and just fishing through it all, digging and excavating, and collaborating with Viggo. So I'm sure I didn't answer your question. But, you know, it was it was difficult and beautiful and very grateful to have gone on the journey.

Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

Q: What is going on? It's your second Oscar for a supporting role. How do you feel about it?

MA: I feel very fortunate. I feel fortunate to have been nominated. Any of those gentlemen could have been up here and would be, obviously, deserving of being up here. They did wonderful work, beautiful work, work that inspired me. So to be the one that was chosen to get to hold this trophy again, it's not something that I take lightly. It's not something I take for granted. If anything, it makes me aware, more aware of all the people that have really contributed to my life, from childhood to my team that works on my behalf and is always looking to take advantage of the best opportunities, the opportunities that are fit for me. And so I'm I'm very grateful. The first one helped me get Green Book, you know. I don't think if I had won I wasn't just getting offers like that, you know; and so to to get an Oscar for Moonlight, it changes your profile. It changes it gets you in other rooms, and it shines a light on your work; and then suddenly you could have been around for 15, 20 years and suddenly people notice you; and so I'm really grateful for that, because I've been wanting to work and expand and stretch. I have been wanting to stretch my legs for a really long time, and this was the first time I got to stretch my legs.

Q: You kind of touched on what I was going to ask you a little bit about the failing and succeeding. And then I just wanted to know what was your thinking when you after Moonlight the time that it takes to come to now. Did you ever feel that failing and succeeding from, like, Moonlight to now, or did some things that you thought would happen since Moonlight didn't happen? Can you speak to those things?

MA: My life is has changed tremendously since in two years. My daughter just had her second birthday two days ago, you know; and I was busy in that time, you know, working. But I think when I say success and failing, I think of them as the same thing, in that as long as you walk away having been improved, having learned from the experience, that it's all an education, you know. And and so there's things that I try in my work where I personally watch, and I feel like it worked; or sometime I feel like it doesn't, it didn't work. And and I try not to be too hard on myself, but I got to just go for it, and take chances and commit and see how things turn out all with the goal of improving, and growing, and being stretched, and also just making a contribution. I just want to feel like I'm being productive with my time on this earth, you know; and because I just don't take that for granted. And so I will continue to fail, and I'll hopefully continue to succeed; and, but I and continue to make my best efforts, and to do the best work that I could possibly do, and be the best person I can be.

NOTES ON THE SCORECARD:

Past Media Guy Oscars Backstage Columns: 2018 - 2017 - 2016 - 2015 - 2014 - 2013 - 2012

The Big Four -- Oscar-winners Rami Malek, Olivia Colman, Regina King, Mahershala Ali pose in the Press Room with their Oscar for Achievement in acting:

Getty Images / Rick Rowell

Jennifer Lopez outs the finishing touches on her makeup backstage.

Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler goof around backstage.

Lady Gaga sips champagne as Bradley Cooper looks on.

Instead of breaking the rules, I took a portrait in front of the step and repeat the day before the Sunday telecast:

I met five-time Academy Award nominee Amy Adams - what a delight:

Q: Does the Adapted Screenplay win makes up for the Do the Right Thing loss at the 1990 Oscars and the Academy overlooking it for a Best Picture nomination (Driving Miss Daisy won Best Picture the year).

Spike Lee: “I’m snake bit. Every time somebody is driving somebody, I lose – but they changed the seating arrangement!”

©A.M.P.A.S.

Rami Malek celebrates with the bubbly:

That Julia Roberts Smile:

©A.M.P.A.S.

James Bond and the Atomic Blonde:

©A.M.P.A.S.

Captain America discusses the weather with JLo:

©A.M.P.A.S.

Oscars Week 2019: My Picks

This year I sent a little dinero to Las Vegas to bet on some of my Oscars picks. Why would I risk money here, you ask? Well, since you did, since I started covering the Oscars eight years ago, I have correctly selected 51 out of 61 in the major categories. At 83.6%, that practically money in the bank, I mean if, uh, I gambled. Now that my overt bragging is complete, here's the Media Guy choices for the telecast on Sunday:

9Oscars winner Allison Janney and Gary Oldman during Saturday rehearsals.

Best Picture
Green Book
Media Guy Thoughts: The outrage police will be patrolling Twitter when this one wins. A Green Book win could set the Oscars back a few years. All of the so-called progress that occurred with the Shape of Water, Moonlight, and 12 Years A Slave victories might be destroyed. The hate Green Book has generated throughout awards season is might be enough to break Twitter when Peter “I flashed Cameron Diaz" Farrelly and Nick “Muslims celebrated on 9/11” Vallelonga get on the Dolby Theatre stage to accept their award.

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Glenn Close, The Wife
Media Guy Thoughts: How she didn't win for Fatal Attraction will never be explained.  No other actress has ever been nominated seven times without a win. This is her seventh nom. The Academy doesn't like those kind of streaks.

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Media Guy Thoughts: At all of the Oscars events where actual voters are present, I spoke with about 40 (out of 50) who said they voted for Malek. In other words, in a sample of this size, it's as close to a lock as possible.

Amy Adams and I have six Oscars noms and two Emmy wins, combined

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Media Guy Thoughts: Two wins in three years sounds about right.

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Media Guy Thoughts: She was the critical darling taking the Big Three (New York Film Critics Circle, Los Angeles Film Critics Association and National Society of Film Critics), plus she's adored and respected. Ask one hundred critics and you will be hard-pressed to find anything but a positive story about King.

Directing
Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Media Guy Thoughts: They won't give him Best Picture, but he will take this and also honors for Foreign Language Film.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Media Guy Thoughts: Spike won't win the directing honors (at least he can't say it's a white thing) so this is the shot to get him his Oscar. Get ready for the drama.

The Oscars Swag Bag

What's in the 2019 Oscars Swag Bag? Win or lose, all of the nominees are gifted swag bags filled with luxury travel packages, world-class beauty products, fine art, jewelry and even the opportunity
to give back to charities.

The "Everyone Wins" nominee gift bags were crafted by Lash Fary, founder of Distinctive Assets, who says "Every human being, regardless of career or fame, appreciates a great gift. While our 'Everyone Wins' Gift Bag is certainly not given based on need, it is put together with a profound sense of gratitude for the incredible performances these talented individuals gave all of us this year.”

Here are some of the highlights:

One of a kind custom stained glass portrait created by glass master and artist John Thoman.

Pure Organic Maple Syrup and Glamour Gourmet Gift Set: gourmet maple products with recipes.

Millianna’s interpretation of pop culture and fashion is infused with inspiration from historical eras such as Elizabethan England and various art movements. The company employs women from the World Relief Spokane Refugee Organization to make their pieces which provides the women with meaningful work while they resettle in the US.

Nominees (and a guest) can enjoy a luxury small-ship adventure with International Expeditions. Choose one of four: an adventure to Iceland, the Galapagos, the Amazon or Costa Rica and Panama.

Proceeds from every Love Is Stronger Than Hate merchandise purchases will provide hope and healing to communities impacted by tragedy through the Stars of HOPE therapeutic arts program and the New York Says Thank You Foundation.

Dealing with Bears and the Eisenhower Decision Matrix

Okay so where am I?

How you ever been in the middle of the innocuous RFP (Request For Proposal) process? Well, I have and it's alternatively intense, ridiculous, mind-numbing, and about eight other adjectives that I cannot list here.

I love getting new business. It breathes life into the agency. It's great for the bottom line. It rewards the soul if you can produce some Big Ideas and generate success. But the process of creating the RFP and submitting it is a real bear. Like the bear* from The Revenant. The process can eat you alive mentally.

Why? Because just when you think you are ready to collect your entire presentation and merge it one complete document, it chases you down again like the bear** in The Edge. The worst part of the entire game is that a) you don't know if the fix is in with the companies offering the RFP, and b) your staff assembling your response to the RFP will tell you that everything is urgent and everything is important.

Now while the struggle of point "A" is definitely a real, most of us ban manage point "b" with a little technique I learned decades ago in college (yes, I am old...) called The Eisenhower Decision Matrix. You're probably saying, "Wow, that's a mouthful; The Eisenhower Decision Matrix. What is it?"

The Eisenhower Decision Matrix is how to distinguish between urgent and important tasks and make some real progress in your daily projects. If you're a manager—or aspire to be—I'm sure that  sometimes feel like you spend the majority of your time managing crises. I bet you feel like your life is spent putting out one proverbial fire after another. At the end of it all you are completely zapped and drained of energy. Some days you look up and can’t point to anything you tangibly accomplished.

This is where The Eisenhower Decision Matrix can benefit you more then you know. Here's the philosophy crux:

I've written before leadership lessons that came from Attila the Hun and now I want to add Dwight D. Eisenhower to the mix. This principle of this matrix guided him through his entire, hugely successful career as general and president:

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.”

So what's the difference between "urgent" and "important"?

Urgent means that a task requires immediate attention. These are the to-do’s that scream “Now!” Urgent tasks put us in a reactive mode, one that is ultimately marked by a defensive, negative, hurried, and narrowly-focused mindset.

Important tasks are things that contribute to our long-term mission, values, and goals. Sometimes these tasks are also urgent, but usually they aren't. When we focus on important activities we operate in a responsive mode, which helps us remain calm, rational, and open to new opportunities.

It’s a fairly intuitive distinction, yet most of us frequently fall into the trap of believing that all urgent activities are also important. This is because our evolutionary ancestors centered in on on short-term concerns rather than long-term strategy. Maybe that's because a charging saber-toothed lion could mean the difference between life and death.

Because of the 24-hour news cycle, we are constantly bombarded with information that has only heightened this deeply engrained mindset. We experience “present shock” – a condition in which “we live in a continuous, always-on ‘now’” and lose our sense of long-term narrative and direction. In this state of being, it's easy to lose sight of the distinction between the truly important and the merely urgent.

The consequences of this priority-blindness is the primary cause of burnout and stagnation and on a broader level our culture is unable to solve the truly important problems of our time.

Business thinker Stephen Covey popularized the Eisenhower’s Decision Principle in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, where he a decision matrix to help individuals make the distinction between what’s important and not important and what’s urgent and not urgent. The matrix consists of a square divided into four quadrants:

1. Urgent/Important, 
2. Not Urgent/Important
3. Urgent/Not Important, and,
4. Not Urgent/Not Important:

If you need extensive tutorials on the four quadrants, you should really buy the book (here's the link; only $5.44 on your Kindle), but for my purposes, I'll break them down quickly.

• Quadrant 1—With a some rudimentary planning and organization, many Q1 tasks can be made more efficient or even eliminated outright. For example, instead of waiting until the last minute to work on an RFP (thus turning it into an urgent task), you could schedule your time so that you’re done a week in advance. 
• Quadrant 2—We should seek to spend most of our time on these activities, as they’re the ones that provide us lasting happiness, fulfillment, and success. Unfortunately, present bias challenges that keep us from investing enough time and energy into Q2 tasks. We all have an inclination to focus on whatever is most pressing at the moment and make this our default mode. It’s hard to get motivated to do something when there isn’t a deadline looming over our head. Departing from this fallback position takes willpower and self-discipline. 
• Quadrant 3—These tasks require our attention now (urgent), but don’t help us achieve our goals or fulfill our mission (not important). Most Q3 tasks are interruptions from other people and often involve helping them meet their own goals and fulfill their own priorities. They're important to others, they’re not important to you. They need to be balanced with your Q2 activities or you'll go crazy.
• Quadrant 4—These aren’t urgent and not important. This is goofing around work . The kinds of work Prince sung about in "Raspberry Beret": "I was working part time in a five-and-dime / My boss was Mr. McGee / He told me several times that he didn't like my kind / 'Cause I was a bit too leisurely / Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing / But different than the day before." If you specialize in Quadrant 4, you won't work for me long.

In our present shock world, the ability to filter the signal from the noise, or distinguish between what’s urgent and what’s truly important, is an essential skill to have. So now, you'll have to pardon me because we have to make FedEx by 4:30 P.M. to get this RFP overnighted to make tomorrow's 2:00 P.M. deadline.

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World’s Worst RFP - A brilliant play on the entire RFP / Spec Work game:

Zulu Alpha Kilo takes on the RFP world with their "World’s Worst RFP" where they extend the conversation to the RFP and pitch process for both clients and agencies alike.

* - The Revenant Bear Attack:

** - The Edge Bear Chase:

Behind the Curtain: A Peek at the KHL

Repping the great Ilya Kolvachuk at a KHL game will earn you mad props. © Michael Lloyd

I took a wild trip to Moscow to get up close with Russian hockey. I wound up meeting Igor...read on!

While we wait for the boys to return from the combination All-Star break and mandatory five-day bye week to continue their #PlayoffPush / #LoseForHughes games, here’s a little excerpt from my KHL Moscow trip.

By now, most of the loyal Perspectives readers know a few things about me.

1. I don’t like the interim Kings coach (professionally, not personally).
2. I’m not a sportswriter (...okay let the jokes begin...at least I’m passionate about giving you 1,000 words of weekly contrarian opinion).
3. I made my living for the last 30+ years in the marketing and advertising worlds.

So why the buildup today? I felt it was important to let you know these things before briefly jumping into my intrepid journey in Russia covering the Kontinental Hockey League for an upcoming book I’m writing about sports marketing in Europe.

When the call came in October to travel to Moscow for a few days in and around Red Square to visit the periphery of the current CSKA Moscow team, I was a little hesitant. “Why” you ask?

Well...

Back in the nineties, Romania called. Literally, the country called. The economic development minister guided me over to CSP UM Timişoara, an also-ran in the Romanian Futbol League. I was signed to a nice six-figure contract to lay out the marketing plan and roll it out to the country. Long story short, after selling out the first (and last) game due in large part to my advertising campaign, the Romanian mafia who financed the club asked me to leave “Godfather-style” and promptly bankrupted the team.

At the time, the appeal of Europe for media and marketing was growing by leaps and bounds and it definitely makes sense. If you know your stuff and you can deliver smooth ideas and polished programs, you’re all set for a cushy life. It worked out for some. For me, that was my only attempt to “make it” in Europe.

So when my book editor arranged for a flight and a visa to Moscow, who was I to say no? I mean, who could refuse such an assignment? After all, this club was the home of all of those legendary Red Army players who dominated the world scene before the collapse of the Soviet Union: Slava Fetisov, Pavel Bure, Alexei Kasatonov, the KLM Line (Vladimir Krutov, Igor Larionov, and Sergei Makarov), Sergei Federov, Boris Mikhailov, Vladislav Tretiak...I could go on and on. They all played there.

Over the years, the KHL has earned a reputation as a wild and crazy place replete with heat-packing team owners, paper bag cash payments for players and staff, intense eight-week training camps, and a penchant for creating scandal you might expect only from a Netflix movie. This notwithstanding, since being founded in 2008 under the tutelage of Russian President Vladimir Putin, the KHL has solidified itself as the world’s second-best hockey league.

So, after securing a commitment to gain entry into Russia and very little else, I hunkered down into research mode. My research uncovered 25 teams spread across eight countries and two continents. I discovered a league that possesses a trove of talent most North Americans have never heard of and never will see. My goal quickly began to gain some sort of access to left winger Kirill Kaprizov and goalie Ilya Sorokin. In case you missed it, Kaprizov dominated at the 2018 PyeongChang Olympics, notching nine points (5G, 4A) in six games played, while being the darling of KHL hockey. Sorokin was drafted by the Islanders as an 18-year-old. Through 34 games backstopping CSKA Moscow, he sports a 23-6-3 record with a 1.25 GAA and a .937 save percentage to go with eight shutouts.

I jumped on the international Stubhub site to grab a pair of CSKA Moscow tickets for the December 28th game versus defending Gagarin Cup* champs Ak Bars. I quickly charged the $78 for the tickets in first seven rows, including fees, and even though Citibank put a fraud alert on my card for 48 hours because of the Russia charges, I was feeling pretty, pretty good.

* - Speaking of the Gagarin Cup, much like the Stanley Cup we all love and revere, the KHL has its own sweet story for their championship trophy. The KHL hardware is named for cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. He’s the first human to venture into space and was proclaimed as the “hero of the Soviet Union” by Nikita Khrushchev. Gagarin died in a plane crash nearly eight years after his space odyssey. He is entombed at the Kremlin.

I arrived to Moscow on Christmas Day (I know, I know; how Rocky IV of me) and after a VIP tour of the Kremlin, Red Square, and St. Basil’s Cathedral, along with a trip to Saint Petersburg, it was finally game day. Nothing could slow my enthusiasm. Not the snow or three-degree temperatures or even a snobby cab driver who lectured me about the “corrupt league where the banned doctors practice.” Misjudging the right time to get there, I was at the CSKA Ice Arena well ahead of the 7:30 match time, beating even the most of the security staff.

CKSA Ice Arena

Just to the west of the parking booth and gate was the one open door: the media entrance. There were cameramen and suited talking heads meandering through, so I decided to put my international press card into play. It came in handy here as I flashed it liberally to get through to the hallway leading to the locker rooms. This is where my plans to interview Kirill Kaprizov and/or Ilya Sorokin hit a brick wall. No, not a real brick wall, but rather Igor.

Who was Igor? He was simply a human that was thicker and stronger than any brick wall. Each bicep had a circumference that was easily more than my skull and his hands looked like could they crush my skull just like The Mountain did to the Viper in Game of Thrones. Nonetheless, I didn’t memorize five questions in Russian for my interview to be turned away by Igor.

At first, Igor laughed at me and scoffed at my international press card that dated my current salt and pepper style by at least ten years. Then he had me frisked by his colleague, who was easily the most terrifying man whomever guarded a hockey arena.

As soon as I tried to out-clever the duo, the conversation kicked in.

“Listen Mr. Michael,” he growled, “I don’t care how far you travel to meet our great players. No CSKA (pronounced “siska”) Moscow media card. No blonde hair. No cute smile. No enter my arena. Only Cowboy Reagan has chance to get here.”

To which I replied, “Reagan has been dead for years. Are you saying a dead man has a better chance than me to get in?”

That produced three giant belly laughs that lasted well over a minute. I earned some goodwill and bought myself some time but alas, no locker room entry and interviews were forthcoming. Seems that Igor was (purportedly) former KGB and didn’t catch on with the FSB (which succeeded the KGB). He knocked around the nightclub scene and even called in some favors to work security detail for some high-ranking dancers at the Bolshoi before landing on the hockey scene. Now he calls the KHL home and takes his work more seriously than anything he ever did at the KGB.

What I did win was a new friend in Igor and some ridiculous stories of the early KHL and Russia Superleague days.

During the 2004-05 NHL lockout, Ak Bars put together a squad that included 11 NHL players; among them were Ilya Kovalchuk, Dany Heatley, Alexei Kovalev, Vincent Lecavalier, and Brad Richards. “Here we try win championship for mighty Kazan’s 1000th anniversary,” Igor recalls. “We have giant payroll. But you know what they don’t have? There were no towels, locker room attendants, or drinks after games. Maybe that’s why lost in the first round of the playoffs.”

I learned about the practice of bazas. It’s a cultural thing where teams bunker down in desolate, rural buildings before important games and playoff series. Igor explained: “One club I was with put us in middle of nowhere. Mr. Michael, this is not a figure of speech. This baza is not on fancy Google Maps. As matter of fact, no map was ever created for this. It was an old, crumbling factory that have dormitories for workers. It was 35 kilometers from anything. Anything. Except forest. Forest was for training and there was tree for all of us. The coaching staff make everyone climb a tree before breakfast was served. Even staff.”

I dared to ask him why he’s been with so many clubs (this is his seventh in 15 years). “Many teams are very late in paying people,” Igor reports. “They would go months without paying us and then they would pay in plain box in cash. Of course there would be ‘taxes’ already taken from the cash. For players, this is fine because they don’t live payday to payday. But us ex-KGB guys need regular payments. You wonder if you ever get paid.”

As 7:30 approached, Igor reminded me that I wasn’t getting in. We had a good time trading NHL and KHL stories. We exchanged contact information and Twitter handles. He helped me bypass the giant staircase leading to the security entrances. I was safe after all having been patted down better than any TSA in the world. It was time to see what the KHL game was actually like.

Every aisle, in every section, has two cheerleaders with pom poms. During stoppages they all perform in sync with each other in perfect synergy.

I wound up sitting next to Anatoly who, as a former official at the United Nations, was a former season ticket holder of the New York Rangers. He was there in 1994 when the Rangers won their first Stanley Cup in 50 years and he was in Kazan in 2017 when Ak Bars won the Gagarin Cup. I was told that the principal dissimilarity between the NHL and KHL is the pressure of the season. At only 60 games, there are few nights, if any, where you can take the night off. Teams don’t have the luxury to give away wins (worth three points when earned in regulation). Ownership fires coaches left and right. “Everyone is George Steinbrenner here,” Anatoly brags.

The style of play grabs you from the start. The surface is Olympic-sized so the players can move around and you can feel the skill. There’s very little dump and chase. You can see the roots of Russian hockey on display at all times. The spirit of the legendary Anatoli Tarasov, “the father of Russian ice hockey”, lives. He taught his players what he learned observing the Bolshoi Ballet, transferred it to hockey, and gave rise to creativity so the improvisational could flourish.

Tonight, CSKA Moscow hardly let AK Bars touch the puck for two periods, outshooting them 30-8 and tripling their attack time. If they couldn’t carry the puck into the zone, they would regroup three, four, five times before entering the zone. Each pass was crisp, hitting the tape without error. It all about puck possession.

And the fan experience?

“It’s wildly entertaining,” says Anatoly. "The fans are fun to watch. Cheerleaders are fun to watch. The kids bring signs and hold them up through the game, all game. There’s booster clubs left and right with special cheers. People aren’t sitting on their hands, they’re really into it. Also CSKA has not one, but two mascots—a horse and a star.”

As the horn sounded to end the final period, CSKA Moscow cruised to a 4-2 win. Maybe I witnessed the future 2019 Gagarin Cup champion here tonight. And my would-be interview? I guess I was scooped:

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Note: This column originally appeared on Jewels From the Crown, January 28, 2019

The Best and the Worst of the Super Bowl LIII Commercials

Okay, so where am I?

Let's just say that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick chased down their record-breaking sixth Super Bowl crown. That should narrow it all down.

On Sunday, huge brands like Budweiser and Pepsi once again spent millions of dollars from their advertising budgets in the hopes of catching your attention during what should be the year’s most-watched television event. While the ratings were the lowest since 2009, the numbers still boggle imagination:

Last five super Bowl overnight ratings:

2019: 44.9 (Pats-Rams, CBS)
2018: 47.4 (Eagles-Pats, NBC)
2017: 48.8 (Pats-Falcons, Fox)
2016: 49.0 (Broncos-Panthers, CBS)
2015: 49.7 (Pats-Seahawks, 49.7) https://t.co/ZCRN73DSpm

— Austin Karp (@AustinKarp) February 4, 2019

If you're a big budget advertiser, those numbers will cost you. How much? CBS charged another boggling number: a record $5.25 million for thirty seconds of airtime. The cost is slightly up from last year’s $5.2 million, and $1 million more than the cost to air a commercial during the 2014 Super Bowl. In just over a decade, the price of the average Super Bowl ad has nearly doubled from a price point of $2.69 million in 2008. If you go all the way back to the first-ever Super Bowl, in 1967, ads cost anywhere from $37,500  to $42,500, while 1995 marked the first year that the average cost crept into the millions, when 30-second ads sold for $1.15 million.

So who scored and who fumbled this year?

WINNERS

Olay
In the company's first Super Bowl ad—a horror-movie spoof featuring scream queen Sarah Michelle Gellar—the product is so good that the slasher wants to discuss her fantastic skin. Some panned it, but it was better than almost anything you'd see on Saturday Night Live.

Amazon
The "Not Everything Makes The Cut" spot is incredible in its comic timing and celebrity cameos. You had me at Harrison's Ford's dog ordering gravy.

The Washington Post
Because knowing empowers us.
Knowing helps us decide.
Knowing keeps us free.

Simply, this spot gave me chills. Simply. Awesome.

Captain Marvel
The Captain Marvel spot was the perfect thing to get the women in the house excited for a super hero movie.

Higher. Further. Faster. See #CaptainMarvel in theaters March 8. Get tickets now: https://t.co/BNTBGOLFnk pic.twitter.com/qD8Mz5o0sP

— Disney (@Disney) February 3, 2019

Hyundai
"The Elevator" spot with Jason Bateman (yeah, go binge watch Ozark, like now) showcased everything that is worse than buying a car. Apparently, buying a Hyundai is much better for the soul.

LOSERS

KIA
"Telluride"
Their Super Bowl ad included only people from the town of West Point (who weren't aware this would be used in the big game). I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to be nicer but I spent the first 15 seconds trying to understand what the VO person was saying.

Devour 
"Food Porn"

We all know what Devour was trying to do with the cheekiness of their spot. In the original spot the concerned girlfriend says, "My boyfriend is addicted to frozen food porn." Since you can't say "porn" at the Super Bowl, it was edited to say, "My boyfriend has an addiction." Katy Marshall, one of the marketing people behind the ad, told Yahoo Finance: "Some may say our new commercial is too hot for TV. We'll let the audience decide." Katy, let's just say that no one will be addicted to this ad...and...you should have called the Media Guy before spending $5.25 mill plus production costs.

Turbotax
"RoboChild"
A creepy robot child. Taxes. What could go wrong? Just this:

Burger King
"Andy Warhol"
Who pours ketchup from a bottle onto the crackling paper next to the burger? Who wants to #EatLikeAndy? Who wants to change the channel?

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