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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dreaming of a Career in the Movies?

Hollywood Director Offers Tips for Hopeful Writers, Actors, Cameramen


Film and TV director/writer/producer Guy Magar has worked for more than thirty years in the industry with some amazing credits: “La Femme Nikita,” “The A-Team,” “Dark Avenger” and “Blue Thunder.”. Recently, he published his Hollywood memoir, “Kiss Me Quick Before I Shoot: A Filmmaker’s Journey into the Lights of Hollywood and True Love.”

From the box-office smash “The Avengers” to the summer hit “Madagascar 3” reigniting the 3-D craze, movie lovers are more enthralled than ever with film magic, and many fantasize about becoming a part of it. Their annual Westward migration from every film and acting and writing school in the country is as active as ever as they seek their chance to wield the Hollywood wand.


In such a competitive and crowded circus tent, how can a person ensure they catch that elusive trapeze? Here are five tips from Magar...
  • Find out if you really love it. “The movie business demands passion and dedication; the work is difficult and exhausting, the journey fraught with disappointments and financial stress,” he says. “So you better find out if this is truly something you want and you’re ready to sacrifice whatever it takes.” The best place to do that is at a film school or a university filmmaking program. “This is where I fell in love with the cinema and forged my commitment to the craft,” he says.
  • Find out if you’re any good at it. When you discover that less than five percent of the 125,000 actors in the Screen Actors Guild ever make a livable wage in any one year, the reality check about how competitive this business is can be quite intimidating, Magar says. So it’s not enough to love it – you have to have an aptitude for the craft if you want a chance at bat. “You better be one of the very best directors or writers or cameramen or actors wherever you’re studying and developing your work, so you can gain the self-confidence to throw your talent in a very crowded ring,” he says.
  • Get your showreel ready! No one is going to hire you unless they can see what you can do. For a director, you better have an award-winning “wow” short. If you’re a writer, have some dazzling, unique screenplays. Actors need a great reel with diverse scenes showing range from comedy to drama. Cameraman? You need a reel that sizzles with cinematic visuals. Don’t come to Los Angeles without a reel. It shows who you are, what you can do — and why you’re worth paying to do it.
  • Networking! Networking! Networking! “The movie business is first and foremost a people business,” Magar says. “Regardless of your talent, you better be good at schmoozing and an extrovert at heart.” It’s all about who you know, who can introduce you to whom, who likes you, who is willing to help you move forward, he says. If you’re a great networker, you have a better chance at a career than if you’re talented with no social skills. Introverts do not apply!
  • Enjoy your journey or the dream will be a nightmare. Don’t put off having a life until you “get there,” he says. The big secret is to enjoy the journey and to have a life in the industry, regardless of the amount of work and accolades that may or may not come your way. You must commit to making a fulfilling life for yourself if you’re to find happiness in Tinseltown. Family, friends and a soulmate are as important and fulfilling as career gains. “They will sustain you in much deeper emotional ways than winning a spot on a softer toilet paper commercial,” he says.

“Between the words ‘action’ and ‘cut’, I get to make my magic … my visual storytelling,” he says. “I fell in love with making movies and have continued loving it for more than 100 production credits in my career.” says Magar.
Welcome to Hollywood. Break a leg!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Chuck Norris Chat


Q&A: CHUCK NORRIS TALKS ABOUT 'EXPENDABLES 2'
By the way, he's not 72: 'I'm 39 years old with 33 years of experience' 

WASHINGTON – "The Expendables 2" opens in theaters nationwide and some of the mega-action stars are talking up the movie. But arguably the biggest action icon internationally gave his first exclusive interview on the project to his favorite news source – the one that serves as the flagship for his weekly political column and his weekly health column. That would be Chuck Norris and WND. Several WND news editors did the grilling. The sequel stars Norris, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Terry Crews, mixed martial arts fighter Randy Couture and "rookie" Liam Hemsworth. By the way, not to give anything away, but they do not all make it out of "Expendables 2" alive.




WND caught up with Norris just before he headed to Hollywood for the screening Wednesday night and had the chance to conduct this exclusive interview.

Question: We've heard that Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis might share some of your conservative views? Did you have a chance to talk politics at all with your co-stars? What are they thinking about the 2012 election?
Answer: We only had one thing on our minds and that was making "Expendables 2" the best it can be.

Q: Did you have fun making this movie with other top action stars?
A: It was great working with all the guys. I have known Arnold since the 1960s, Van Damme since the 70s and Willis and Sly since the 80s.

Q: Is this going to be a classic for the ages?
A: Anytime you get action legends together, it has to be a classic.

Q: Any funny stories you can relate about the making of the film?
A: Sly said to me, "These Chuck Norris Facts are everywhere, why don?t we put one in a scene?" My wife, Gena, said, "I have the perfect one for the scene." It is really funny, but you'll have to see the movie to find out.

Q: What was your reaction to seeing the final cut?
A: I haven't seen it yet. But have heard great responses from the screenings.

Q: What's the most redemptive message of the film?
A: Legendary heroes defeating the bad guys.

Q: You are 72. How can you possibly be doing action movies?
A: Because I'm 39 years old with 33 years of experience.

Q: Like you, some of your fellow cast-members, including Randy Couture and Jet Li, are real-life martial artists. Did you ever spar with any of them?
A: We were too busy working.

Q: What was your favorite scene in this film?
A: Too many to mention. It is an action-packed film (I love action) that will keep you riveted to your seat the whole time.

Q: Why did you turn down the offer to play a role in "Expendables 1"? A: I wasn't offered a role in "Expendables 1," and I'm a guest star in "Expendables 2." 




Tuesday, July 31, 2012

QUICK HITS: Uniform Advertising


The allure is there. The commercialization of sports. The money grab. The spontaneous dismissal of tradition.

I've heard it all this week in response to the National Basketball Association’s announcement that they will soon sell advertising on their jersey—a move the league says could generate an additional $100 million.



The outrage is borderline comical; after all, we live in the land of product placement. You can’t go through an hour of television without seeing an iPad or Pepsi inserted into every third scene on Modern Family or Two and Half Men.

I say, “What took them so long?”

No one seems to mind all of the sponsor logos in NASCAR or the English Premiere League. So let the Wells Fargo Celtics and the Sbarro Knicks and the Target Timberwolves reign supreme.

Branding is king, so don’t get yourself in an uproar.

As someone who appreciates a smart advertising campaign, I salute the NBA as a (once again) trailblazer being the first of the major sport to sell jerseys as walking billboards.

In a decade, as the crowds roar for the Dallas Mavericks brought to you by Citibank, you most likely won’t recall that anything was ever different.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Sheesh!


Random thoughts from the road…

For the tenth summer in a row it’s the summer of super heroes at the box office. We’re right in the middle of it now…Avengers ($1.5 billion worldwide so far), Spiderman ($140 million domestically so far), and Batman coming in a week. With all of this this box office smashing record business, it brings the debate, just who is the best super hero.

If there were a March Madness kind of round robin, who would you go with? Thor vs. Captain America vs. The Hulk vs. Batman? It doesn’t matter as long as you don’t go with Aquaman as your number one choice. Remember that story arc in Entourage where Vince Chase is freaking out that James Cameron is directing the Aquaman movie? He should have never worried because Aquaman is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to battling the bad guys. This brings me to the standard bearer of all super heroes: Superman.

The only people that like Superman above the others are the front runners of the world. I have a news bulleting for everyone…he’s made of steel. That’s a stacked deck if I ever heard of one. He’s faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. His top rival is a bald, middle age guy with a 180 IQ. The only way to stop this indestructible man is with Kryptonite. Where do you get this stuff? I mean it blew up decades ago in some super nova blast from another galaxy. Where is everyone getting this stuff anyway?

As far as super heroes go, he’s the safe choice. Sheesh!

Even Dana Gordon knew Aquaman was the worst...
Back to reality…I have been awaiting feedback from book chapters that were submitted to the publisher. Now keep in mind that I was told that when I started submitting chapters the feedback would be spotty and slow. I would get it when I get it and that’s the way the cookie crumbled. However, with the first round, I received instant feedback. When I asked why my editor got back to me so fast, they said that since the writing was flowing so well he just couldn’t wait to get information back to me. I thought, well that’s nice and it allowed me to get into the next batch of writing which I submitted soon thereafter.

Weeks went by and I heard nothing, so I sent an email to my editor, Maggie, saying something like, “Did you get the chapters? Any new feedback?” and of course I got nothing. Then when I spoke to my agent a week later, I asked him if he heard anything. He told me he sent an email and heard nothing back. And then we waited another three weeks. At that point I called my editor’s assistant and asked him to see what’s up. A few days later—now remember this is now five weeks since I sent in batch two of chapters—I get an email forward to me through the assistant from my editor:

From: XXXXXXX [mailto:xxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.com]
Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 12:42 PM
To: 'Michael Lloyd'
Subject: FW: Lloyd Book Feedback

New titles department. No need information on Lloyd book.
I know how desperate Michael is to get this information.
There should be something soon, Maggie


That caught me a little off guard. I really dislike when people ignore you for a while and them make it seem like it’s you who is anxious and in this case “desperate”. From the side of the sanity perspective, it seems desperate because my first few communication attempts were not replied to in any timely fashion. I know she didn’t mean it to be negative, but still….”desperate”? Sheesh.

It’s like that thing people do in a retail setting when you need help. You know that person behind the cash wrap who is fiddling with the straws or straightening cups or something and they are half turned away from you. You wait, but then you give the little, “Pardon me” and you get no reaction so you go with the “Excuse me…” And you still get nothing so you say, “uh, sir..” and there’s finally a sharp burst of “I heard you!”

More great customer service
Meanwhile you’re standing there thinking “I’m not impatient; a grunt or a moan or some type of acknowledgement would have served me just fine.” Really, the mental “I’ll be with you in a minute” doesn’t cut it because I’m not a mind reader. Sheesh!

Thank goodness the Kardashians have been pushed back to page three of the gossip hound and replaced with of all things the shocking TomKat split. I was listening to the radio while stuck in Los Angeles traffic gridlock when the great escape was described something like this: “A determined Katie Holmes plotted her escape from domineering hubby Tom Cruise like a “Mission: Impossible” operation — using a pal’s disposable cellphone to talk to lawyers in three states so Cruise couldn’t trace her calls or location.” Whatever happened to letting this all play out on Divorce Court. Sheesh!

Finally, since the second-to-last-episode of this season’s Mad Men revealed that Peggy was due to make a cool $120,000 a year managing accounts (Sheesh!), I wondered what other characters would be making today. Luckily there are a lot of people with a lot of time on their hands and these same people came up with this handy chart:






Monday, June 11, 2012

A Gift from the Hockey Gods

Just a quick column that no one will read, because, well, hockey!

Starting in 1973, I was sucked into the thrill of hockey and the not-so-great Los Angeles Kings. Dad's second wife worked in the ticket office at the Fabulous Forum in Inglewood. That meant that any non-sellout game was available to attend. And why wouldn't I? Hockey moved at a different pace than any other live sport. It was frenetic and filled with a strange combination of athletic skill and fighting.

Dustin Brown, the only Kings captain to hoist the Stanley Cup.
The players could hear you scream and the you would yell at the referees with two-part chants. One section yells, "HEY REF..." and the other section finishes with, "YOU SUCK!" Yeah real high brow. But even in the seventies, we kept it classy, only sarcastically singing a goalie’s last name when we were ahead. The small crowds--8,000 to 12,000 a night--were personable, nice, knowledgable. Most were transplants from one of hockey's Original Six cities and were helpful to a five-year-old.

In the 39 years leading up to the start of these playoffs, I can easily say that the Hockey Gods were not kind to the Kings for reasons too lengthy to list here. Even the dreaded Anaheim Ducks won a Stanley Cup before my team. This 2007 Ducks victory forced me to self-impose my lifetime ban on hockey should the Ducks ever win before the Kings. My lifetime ban wound up being three full years until the 2010 playoff sucked me in while serving as a groomsman in Ottawa. Four tough losses later and I was hooked again.

But then this team sneaks into the playoffs as the last possible team and then eviscerates everyone in a sure deal with the Hockey Gods.

With the exception of that Marty McSorley illegal stick game, this erases all of the pain. Those outside the Kings family made up fake curses, we were called losers, mocked our legacy of failure, and even questioned our sanity levels. There was always hope. We always believed Despite my lifetime faith, I kept the faith; we kept the faith. We kept passed this this team down to the next generation, hoping it would be worth it.

And today it was.

The last two months (to the day) were the most fantastic ride of our sports lives: Twenty games, sixteen wins, one championship, a Zamboni full of memories. Like our friend Andy Dufresne, we crawled through 500 yards of sh*t-smelling foulness and came out smelling like roses on the other side.

Tonight's champagne, which has literally been on ice since 1993 never tasted so good.

Here's a little something I wrote for the NHL:

The Los Angeles Kings, competing in their 44th NHL season, captured their first Stanley Cup. The Kings joined the Anaheim Ducks (2007) as the only California-based champions and West Coast winners since NHL clubs exclusively began competing for the Stanley Cup in 1927. The Kings finished the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs at 16-4 (.800), tied for the second-best championship run since all rounds became best-of-seven in 1987. The Kings were the first NHL club to take a 3-0 lead in games in all four series, went 4-0 in overtime and went 10-1 on the road, setting an NHL playoff record for the longest road winning streak in one postseason (10 games). The Kings become the first #8 seed since the conference-based playoff format was introduced in 1993-94 to capture the Stanley Cup. Conn Smythe Trophy winner Jonathan Quick went 16-4 with a 1.41 goals-against average, .946 save percentage and three shutouts.

---

This just about sums it as up...here's looking at you, kid:




Friday, June 8, 2012

MGS CHAT: MISS USA 2010 RIMA FAKIH


A QUEEN SPEAKS OUT: One-on-one with former Miss USA Rima Fakih
Article can also be read at ALO magazine story link

These days, Rima Fakih has one rule for her life: Don’t put encumbrances on her. And who can blame her! The first Arab-American queen in the history of the Miss USA pageant was put under clamps by the Miss Universe organization when she later ran for that title. She was restricted from speaking her mind about her culture and heritage. She was hounded by the media on a daily basis and haunted by the fact that there was a groundswell of narrow-minded thinkers who wanted her reign to end prematurely and with controversy. It was fitting that we met up with her at an event at Eva Longoria’s Eve Nightclub in Las Vegas, where Fakih and boxing champ Floyd Mayweather hosted a standing room only evening. Perhaps it’s “the gloves are coming off” attitude that prepared her for a tumultuous, yet rewarding year as Miss USA. Read on to find out how tough–and thoughtful–this beauty queen can be.

MEDIA GUY: What was the most difficult aspect about your reign as Miss USA?

RIMA FAKIH: Adapting to a situation where there is no personal life. I have always wanted to be in the lights, in front of the camera; I love that, but it was difficult to be under the control of Donald Trump’s Miss Universe organization, which also runs the Miss USA pageant. When you enter that contest, you have no control over your life. When you become Miss USA, you become the “property” of the Miss Universe organization. There is no having a day off or even choosing what to wear or even what event you want to attend. Others make the decisions for you. You’re on a schedule as to when to even eat. At the beginning, it was a little rough for me, but coming from a Lebanese home, where you are disciplined and you always have to follow your mom and dad’s rules, it wasn’t that hard to adapt to.


MG: How was it with your family? Were they around or were you alone?

RF: I couldn’t keep up with them. They were always in Michigan, and I was always traveling. I stayed at the Miss USA apartment in Manhattan, and my roommate was the current Miss Universe; I hardy saw her or my room. I like to be busy; I like to travel. Missing my family was challenging, especially with all of the controversy I went through. I was very afraid that their life would be affected by it. I have to say that if there was anyone stronger than me through this year, it was my family. They had my back, and they supported me every step of the way. There wasn’t a moment when they were not there. They didn’t allow anything to get in the way of my reign.

MG: We spoke previously about the press coming after you with the controversy over your ethnicity. How did you overcome it and gather the strength to move forward?

RF: Being questioned about religion and false rumors about some of my pole dancing contest pictures was an every moment occurrence at the beginning. I had to take the negativity out of it. I remained calm at all times, despite the times I really wanted to speak out and talk more about who I am religiously and how the Middle East really is. But the organization didn’t really want me to talk about it too much. Yet through it all, I kept my culture. I kept making sure that whatever I said was equal on both sides.


MG: Do you find that people ask you about your religion before they even ask about you?

RF: Yes. They ask where I’m from and what religion I am before they get to anything really important. One question I really hate when I am around people from the Middle East is they want to know “what type” of Muslim am I. It’s funny because when I won the crown, the first wave of negativity was the pictures that I had to clear up, and then the ethnicity questions started, “Well, you look Latino, but you name is Middle Eastern.” The first thing I said was, “Yes, I am Lebanese, and I was born in Lebanon.” That gave everyone a shock. Then they would ask me, “So, are you Muslim?” That’s because they always assume that Arabs or people from the Middle East are Muslim. And that’s not true at all. Of course, I answered yes, but I had to explain that Arabs have many different cultures and religious beliefs. We are not all Muslim. Then they asked what part of Lebanon am I from, and I let them know I was from the south. I am proud of where I am from even though being from there implies a certain political affiliation, which isn’t true at all. My dad always said, “You don’t know who you are until you know where you came from.”


MG: Was the pressure harder from the American side or the Middle Eastern side?

RF: The American side. Definitely. People have the perception that Muslims don’t like me because I have worn a bikini on stage. What they don’t know is that I have received the support from Muslims more than anyone else.


MG: Do you think you said enough in the time after you were crowned as Miss USA during interviews, to portray what your culture is all about?

RF: It wasn’t enough. I don’t think the organization was ready for an Arab queen to be crowned. But I was. Before I was Miss USA, I was growing up in New York in the wake of 9/11 and dealing with the prejudices there. Then, moving to Michigan and taking part in community events, I was always questioned about who I am and where I came from. It was very helpful later when I became Miss USA, to stand up for my people. Mostly because of my parents who always taught me that if you are not proud of who you are or what you are, then you are not a real person.

There lies the problem with Arabs in America. They used to be afraid to say who they are, and now they are ashamed. I speak with a lot of people from Dearborn, especially the kids, and when you ask what ethnicity they are, they tell you American and refused to acknowledge they are Arab. That’s a very wrong answer. That’s one thing that I wanted to teach Americans during my year as Miss USA: Who Arabs are; that not Muslims are Arab; that not all Arabs are Muslim; and we are not what you see on the news. In my opinion, Bin Ladin was not Arab and not Muslim.

The news and television are a big problem. They make it so that the one view is all that people know. I wanted to gain the opportunity to give Arabs the strength to say, “Yes, I am Arab or I am Muslim or I am Christian, and I am proud of where I came from.” You don’t realize how many people are ashamed of who they are because of what they think awaits them if they come forward.

Ultimately, it wasn’t enough, but now I can speak, where I wasn’t able to do so before. I had that blockage before because the organization wanted me to be American only.


MG: Was the Miss USA pageant surprised that you were Middle Eastern?

RF: Before I won, I think they thought I was Latino. Legally they can’t ask you what ethnicity you are, and they didn’t. All they asked was if I am an American citizen and a naturally born female.

When the press made a big deal about it, the organization couldn’t handle all of the interviews that came my way. I went from being a Miss USA to a celebrity. I don’t say that with a big ego, but you know you are a celebrity when the gossip channels are talking about your love life. I didn’t even know who these people were I was supposedly dating. No one seemed ready for this type of press, but again, I was ready. I moved through the pageant ranks without much sponsorship or help from anyone outside of my family. Most people thought I was crazy and there was no way an Arab could win Miss USA. When I went there I was Rima Fakih. I didn’t enter the pageant to say I was an Arab. I was just me. I am happy that I proved we can go to Hollywood, we can win Miss USA. There is nothing really to hold us back but ourselves.

It was frustrating as we traveled to China, Germany, the Dominican Republic, Mexico and Brazil, because I wanted to elevate the perception of the Middle Eastern culture. But every time I tried, I was told by the organization not to say “that stuff.” I was Miss USA as an American only, with as little reference to heritage as possible. I felt that they did not want to admit that Arabs in the United States were among the most successful and wildly different from the negative images seen on TV.


MG: Do you think they feared the reaction of the public?

RF: I believe they were afraid of the reaction of the American people, yes. People think that I didn’t make the top 15 later at Miss Universe because I didn’t do well. But what I was told, top secretly, is that I lost because I was an Arab and a Muslim. I felt like I was treated differently from everybody else. It was completely opposite of my experience at Miss USA.


MG: How so?

RF: The first thing you do at Miss Universe, same as Miss USA, is you conduct a one-on-one session with the preliminary judges. The order is alphabetical, so Miss USA goes towards the end. By the time it was my turn, I was already able to speak with some of the other contestants including Miss Albania, Miss Mexico and Miss Puerto Rico. All the girls told me the standard questions were, ‘If you wanted to go to any other country, where would you go?” And “If you were an animal, what would you be?” I was the only contestant who had a question that was specific to my heritage. They wanted to know about the New York City mosque situation at Ground Zero, and then they wanted to know if I was fasting because it was Ramadan. They also asked which side would I choose if I had to make a choice between the Middle East and the United States. This went on and on. We will never know if it really affected the outcome.

The prejudice I faced was from Conservative America, people who felt that to be Miss USA, you had to be the stereotypical blond, blue-eyed Christian. Or you can be a mix of French, Irish and Italian. Why is this okay?

I must admit that the Miss Universe organization backed me up to say what I wanted at the end. In my final speech, as I passed the Miss USA crown to my successor, I said that being a Muslim woman is important, and they wanted me to say that. To her credit, Paula Shugart, the president of Miss Universe, said, “Rima, in my eyes, you are the unofficial ambassador of the Middle East.” So, they did back me up. But why did they? They did so because I was educated, I knew what I was talking about and that I was a true American. At the end, they understood that this country is built on immigrants. Everyone comes from somewhere. Without immigrants, America would not be America. They could trust me and told me that I made the title of Miss USA that much more important.

At that point, I didn’t feel for one second that the Miss Universe organization was racist. They may have been attacked just as much as I was. CNN and BBC Arabian gave the organization and me a heck of a time in my interviews.

Whether it was the media here or from other countries asking how they could let an Arab Muslim win, I told Paula and my manager that I could clear this up right now. In my very next interview, I said that the world and America should be just like the Miss USA pageant, where no one is questioned about what ethnicity they are or what religion they are. The only judgment is what kind of person you are, what you have done in your life, if you are educated and if you can represent the USA in a proud manner. It got a little easier from there.


MG: Did this prejudice extend beyond the media?

RF: After my reign ended, I went for several movie auditions in Hollywood, and during the audition, I was told by a few directors that I would get more roles if I had a Spanish accent. One mockingly asked if I believed in Allah. If people strived to be like the Miss USA pageant people, there would be fewer problems. I wanted to say, “Look at me for who I am, and let’s work together.”

One thing I noticed from your publisher is her signature quote, “Humanity has no nationality.” That should be trademarked and used by everyone. I would have had an easier time if everyone thought that way.
  

MG: How is your relationship with Donald Trump?

RF: What most people don’t know is that Mr.Trump thinks very highly of me. He told all the 2011 contestants, “All of you have big shoes to fill, and I don’t think any of you can fill Rima’s shoes. I’ve had my good Miss USA’s, and I have had my okay Miss USA’s and I’ve never had a favorite until Rima came along.”

When I see him, his wife and his family, they treat me like one of them; like family. I know he loves me, and I love him.


MG: What was your most rewarding experience?

RF: When I went to Egypt, crowds of people said, “Mabrouk (congratulations) to us. They weren’t saying congratulations to me; it was for themselves that they were happy. I was told over and over again that we finally have someone to be proud of in the United States from our heritage. People can see we are not the bad people that CNN and Fox show us to be.


MG: And what does the future hold?

RF: I have a vision of working with Mr. Trump about rebuilding the Middle East. He has told me that there is a strong possibility that this could be a reality.




Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Ghost of Marty McSorley's Stick

May 30, 2012 enters uncharted territory for Los Angeles Kings hockey. 

Never before has a Kings squad entered the Stanley Cup Final as the favorite – – ESPN’s “experts" picked L.A. to take Lord Stanley’s Cup home by a vote of 10 to 3. Heck, they have only been in the Finals once. (Sheesh once? Why do I waste my time? I always say…)

Never before has a the lowest seed taken the championship at the end of the playoff. Cinderella's slipper never fits for long it seems. The Kings are riding the momentum wave like never before: 12 wins. Two losses. Undefeated on the road. They are making teams whine all the way to the league office while whimpering away towards their tee times. Surely these aren’t the Kings I grew up watching. Agonizing with every postseason overtime loss and thoughts of next year. Heartbreak at every turn.

So, today, nothing makes sense. 

Down is up. Left is right, the moon IS made of cheese, the world IS flat, the Brad Pitt-Angeline Jolie union is universally embraced as the undisputed reflection of how relationships should be handled in the New America, and the Los Angeles Kings should win the Stanley Cup. You get it by now, I know. Yet, I digress once again, so I'll stop. But not before I face the horrors for a single game that changed my life, ruining sports and I know them.

It was Thursday, June 3, 1993. A beautiful Montreal summer day outside with the mighty Montreal Canadiens taking on the Great One’s (that’s Wayne Gretzky for those of you whose nickname encyclopedias have been misplaced) Kings at the legendary Montreal Forum.

The magic of this game was that the Kings had already taken game one and literally cruising in game two up 2-1 in the closing minutes. 

Then it happened.

The illegal stick.

The curve of Marty McSorley’s stick was just a quarter-inch outside of the rules. A freaking quarter-inch! Screw it, the NHL tells the story better: 


The rest was history with the Canadiens winning the next three games and winning their bajillionth Stanley Cup. I swear the maintenance crew at the Forum spent years scraping off the bits of my skull and grey matter glued to ceiling of those hallowed hockey halls. 
"Hey Wayne? Why don't you have more Cups?" "Uh, because of Marty..."

Why? 

Because my brain exploded as I screamed "NO" spelled with 7,000 O's. When Marty was out-thought (not a hard thing to do with McSorley) by the brain trust of the Bleu Blanc Rouge (that’s Blue, White and Red in English). It was then that every Habs fan in section 116 gloated knowing that the Kings would be losing that game.
It was then that Marty McSorley took his rightful place near the billy goat, the Bambino, the cover the Madden video game, the Clipper and every other curse that has broken the hearts of many men. 

I ran in Mr. McSorley a few years ago. My passion for sports had long died down, but my vitriol for hockey’s nicest enforcer had not. His excuse to the group set to tee off in front of me went something like this:

Yeah, I was there...
“Geez, there’s been a whole lot of sensationalism, actually a huge degree of sensationalism, and I know there hasn’t been a whole lot of honesty. 'Did I have an illegal stick? Yes! Did I stand up after and say, 'Listen everyone, I had an illegal stick?' Yes! The things that have transpired since then, I don't think there has been a lot of honesty.''

Just like that, he explained it all away.

I wanted to punch him, but, uhhhhh, I quickly re-thought that course of action. And I surely wish Mr. McSorley would have re-thought using a stick he clearly knew was illegal and had to have an inkling that the Canadiens always have the Hockey Gods on their side.

I don’t remember much really after that game.

Cut me some slack; things were very touch-and-go right about then.

I only remember that sports didn’t mean as much to me after that. Something I was good with until this band of hockey misfits who could bare score in the regular season sucked me in again. I dusted off my 1990 Mike Krushelnyski game used jersey and will wear it proudly through the finals. After all, he left me with a much better memory in the Stanley Cup playoffs:


Nineteen years have passed since that game and I still haven’t fully recovered from the chain of events unleashed by the illegal stick game. I may never recover. Kind of surreal.