The Handwriting Sensei: PART ONE

ALERT: This entry of the Media Guy Struggles is an unreserved exchange that intermittently touches on mature subjects and language. 

Let’s just say this: I have too many books in the works. The photography book. The Media Memoirs book. The English Diplomat Book. And…the Crazy Experiences book.

For the Crazy Experiences book, I wanted sent this query around the industry:

Have you ever been on a talk show? How about a game show? Do you have a behind-the-scenes story that will excite? If you have a great story, I want to hear from you. The best ones will be published in some form in an upcoming book.

My new bestie Theresa Ortega, a certified handwriting analyst at The Handwriting Sensei (www.handwritingsensei.com), was among the seventy-five responders—and definitely the most fun. Her story is pretty entertaining and definitely book worthy…here goes…

I was invited to do a live radio show where I analyzed handwriting of the listeners. They had me analyze the staff first and all agreed that it was very accurate. The listeners had a great time as they faxed in their samples and I analyzed them live on the air. The Program Director was very interested in a personal analysis, as he wasn't on air with us. So, we sat in his office and I took a look at his handwriting. I noticed some, ahem, peculiar things about his physical appetites that were manifested in his writing. I was trying to come up with how I was going to tactfully tell this man that I saw some, well, kinkiness in his writing…it came to me quickly, and I've used it numerous times since. I gave him a few details about his personality traits, and then waited with the juicy revelation at the end, and I said, "It seems you have a certain, shall we say, penchant for sexual activity outside the norm." HIS EYES LIT UP LIKE A CANNON, he smiled a huge toothy grin, grabbed the paper and exclaimed, "REALLY?? Where do you see THAT??" So I proceeded to show him where I saw the strokes that indicated the traits.....he hooted and hollered, and yelled, "FUCKING A!!" and ran down the hall with the paper in hand, telling all who would listen, "Can you believe it?? SHE CAN TELL I'M A PERVERT!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!" He ran from office to office with his newly gleaned information...

Wouldn't it be great to know about someone just by the way they write? I know the Media Guy could definitely get a leg up if he could understand all of this. So when I spoke with Theresa I wanted to know if she could analyze MY handwriting?

Theresa Ortega: You lead a pretty exciting and interesting life. The hotel key card, AWESOME!!! Aaaargggh, I relate!  "....in the middle of Timbuktu".........heh heh heh....but the Abercrombie couple.......classic. Your life may not be all princesses and Miss Universes, but, it sounds rousing, so yes, I can analyze anyone's handwriting. It would be fun to analyze your handwriting.

Media Guy: Was the guy baiting you? Did he want you to respond like this and ask you out? I have a colleague who does crazy stuff like this to get clients and dates...

        

TO: Nope, no interest in me at all......he just ran around the studio like a crazy man, shouting, "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? FUCKING A!! She can see I'm INTO THE KINK by my handwriting!!!!" and so on.......

MG: What do you charge for one of your sessions? Do you testify in court as an expert?

        

TO: It depends on what type of analysis it is. No, I am not a FDE (Forensic Document Examiner); that is a totally different certification. My work is mostly with relationship issues (personal and employment related), compatibility, self-esteem and self-improvement. 

MG: Tell me more about the rumor and the actor that wanted you off the set. Anyone famous? Did he/she have a reputation for doing this? What kid of show was it? What was the timeframe?

          

TO: No rumor, no actor. The guy was a Program Director for a local AOR radio station. No one famous. No reputation for doing this that I was aware of. Of course, I wasn't familiar with him, I only knew a few of the DJ's, and they had asked me to come on the show to analyze handwriting live as something fun and unique for their listeners. The show was a morning drive radio show, their demographic was probably males 16-25, maybe 16-40. It happened around 2000. And no, I would not have dated this guy after analyzing his handwriting!!

MG: Back to my handwriting analysis, should I be nervous? I’m on pins and needles!

TO: PINS AND NEEDLES??? Aww, c'mon, Michael, it won't be THAT bad!

A person such as yourself who is interested in self-discovery and self-improvement, believe me, I've rarely seen the psycho-killer traits in the handwriting............as I said, I won't be telling you anything about yourself that you don't already know, but most people are surprised at what can actually be gleaned from handwriting. (I will, hopefully, make you think about a few of the things I can see and mention, but don't know exactly what the full story may be. You will see what I mean. I always tell people that while I can see many things, in the end, I have no super powers, ESP, or crystal ball. It's all about stroke patterns and a very methodical examination of traits. I'm just a technician). 

MG: Tell me what kind of training you took to become an analyst.

TO: I studied via online/live classes for many years. We would do the audio part as a teleconference, and then the instructor would use a website to show the samples we were talking about before the webinar concept was perfected. Then attended our International Conference every year, where we got a chance to hear analysts from other disciplines (yes, there are several schools of thought on analysis/graphology), and I took the oral and written certification exam in 2007. This was through Bart Baggett's Handwriting University International. I passed, woohooo!!

Now I continue to attend trainings with other recognized analysts I've met across the country, such as Beverley East, Iris Hatfield, Sheila Lowe, Kathi McKnight, Treyce Montoya, Joseph Zarek, and so on...plus I've gotten to know several AMAZING graphologists in South America such as Evelyn Aguilera Arce and Mercedes Lapietra, who send me information in Spanish that I can't get here.

MG: Also who comes to you?

TO: Corporate event planners, trade show organizers, HR managers, charities, individuals. I've done everything from a 16-year-old boy's birthday party here in Terre Haute, to analyzing handwriting at the annual SHRM (Society for Human Resource Managers) Conference of 15,000 attendees in Atlanta, Georgia this past May!! Private events such as bachelorette parties, corporate fundraisers, corporate teambuildings, professional associations, art shows, college sports conferences, and much more.

MG: What's the average fee?

TO: Average fee? Well, I have a non-profit rate and a corporate rate, and I give a discount to the corporate group if they book me for 4 hours or more to analyze. Strictly analyzing, it's $125/hour non-profit, $300/hour corporate. My average personal analysis is around $200. Workshops and keynotes are $3,000-5,000.

MG: When my daughter brings a boy home should I do a handwriting analysis on him to make sure he's not a psychopath?

TO: Analyze boyfriends?? ABSOLUTELY!!! I can go more in depth on this later, but suffice it to say that I get a lot of college handwriting gigs due to my day job (I work at a student rec center at a university), and see a lot of young guys' handwriting. I've become alarmed at much of what I see lately, and one sample I was analyzing perturbed me quite a bit…so I sent it to my friend at the FBI. I told him all the stuff that bothered me and made me uneasy, and wanted him to verify if it was as bad as I thought. He came back to say that it was much WORSE than I thought.......and the sample ended up in his book as a perfect example of "red flag" behaviors that should be avoided in relationships. Yep, sexual aggressiveness, manipulation, anger, physical aggressiveness, short temper, etc, etc, ad nauseum. The kind of guy that, in his opinion, would forcefully take something he thought he wanted and wasn't getting. You know what I mean.

I joke to people that I would not go out on a second date with a guy unless he gave me a sample of his handwriting. But it's not a joke. I wish I had learned this stuff 20 years ago.

What does it say? It says that COMING SOON: The Media Guy gets his handwriting analyzed.

Are Books Doomed to Extinction?

We all know that the Media Guy loves his books. You remember books, right? Those heavy bound things with lots of paper for people with an attention span...

What is happening in the industry is as saddening as it is maddening. 
How do we change it all?

I recently ran into Michael Levin, founder and CEO of BusinessGhost, Inc. (www.BusinessGhost.com) who said that “Publishers must innovate to save the book as we know it.” Who is he you ask? His resume speaks for itself…author of more than 100 books, including eight national best-sellers; five that have been optioned for film or television. He’s co-written with Baseball Hall of Famer Dave Winfield, football broadcasting legend Pat Summerall, NBA star Doug Christie and Hollywood publicist Howard Bragman, among others.

With all that on his side of the ledger, he says he can see the writing on the iPad.

“Unless something changes, books as we know them are doomed, and not simply because people prefer to read on their iPads or Kindles.” says Levin. “You’ll see the major publishing houses starting to go away in three to five years,” Levin says. “Their business model is in free fall. Already, we’re seeing books becoming shorter, cheaper, and diminishing in quality. You’ll soon see fewer really good authors bothering to write books, because books are no longer a meaningful source of revenue.”

Levin points to several developments he says foreshadow a sad ending for books:

• Attention spans are diminishing. Three-fourths of teachers said their students’ attention spans are shorter than ever, according to a poll released in June. By 11 years old, nearly half of the kids had stopped reading for pleasure. The poll, by publisher Pearson UK, is just the most recent survey/study documenting shrinking attention spans and a corresponding drift from books. “Part of the problem is children don’t see their parents reading,” Levin says. “Obviously, the kids’ aren’t the only ones with diminishing attention spans.”

• Major publishers are producing lower-quality books. The big publishing houses today are more interested in a quality marketing plan than in the quality of the book, so we’re being deluged by low-quality books. One reason is that many large publishers have stopped taking on the expense of marketing books, but they know it’s necessary for sales. So they take on authors with a marketing plan and budget. They’re also less interested in “star” authors, who demand higher royalties. They also lost authors when they eliminated advances in response to the 2008 recession.

• Books are moving to devices, where content is free and time is thin-sliced. Online, you don’t expect to pay for content. People will expect books available online to be either free or very inexpensive, and if those books turn out to be one chapter of ideas and eleven chapters of Hamburger Helper, they will be less willing to pay for them. Also, people don’t spend much time going into depth online; books are supremely inappropriate for the surface-skimming nature of the Internet. Once people have bought a bunch of ebooks they’ve never started, they’ll stop buying them altogether.

• Authors have a more difficult time earning a livable wage. Fewer authors can earn enough to make writing a full-time job. The audience is shrinking and fewer people are willing to pay $15 for a paper book when cheap alternatives are available. “We’ve already seen more books written to promote a product, service or company, or to brand the writer so he or she can pursue a more lucrative field,” Levin says. “Most books of the future will be marketing tools, since that’s the only way they’ll be profitable.”

He does find reason for hope, but it will require publishers to change how they do business.

“They need to stop trying to go after the mass market, which doesn’t exist anymore, settle on a niche and develop a brand. Publishers that stand for something in the reader’s mind – like Harlequin stands for romance – are built for the long haul,” he says.

Instead of publishing 500 low-quality books every year, major publishers should bring out only 50 top-quality winners and actually market them, he says. And publish how-to and other guidance and instructional books in concentrated form: short, powerful and to the point,

The rest of us have a job to do, too, Levin adds.

“People need to read, and they need to read to their kids or buy them books. If people stop demanding good books, there eventually will be none available,” he says. “The winners, going forward, will be that minority who still read and think for themselves. It’s a lot easier for government, the military, and the corporate world to control the way people think if they aren’t reading for themselves. That ought to be reason enough to save the book.”

Tangentmakers and the Dreaded Key Card

Okay, so where am I?

As always, my client looked a little cross-eyed after five-and-a-half hours of SEO, PPC and CRM

Who knows what evil lurks inside the plastic hell?

talk. Marketing buzz words layered with endless rationale will do that. Shoot, hearing about website analytics will bore the best of us, but this is what pays bills and clients usually go with your gut feeling as long as you have your act together backed by this boring details. Life can’t always be chatting with movie stars, Miss USA’s and football owners. The routine, perfected after thousands of cycles and repetitions, is what makes guarantees success.

So there I was in another nameless Eurasian five-star hotel after wrapping the meeting ready to curl up with Tropic of Cancer and a vodka martini. This is the recipe for relaxation on the road. Eyes half open, I wander out of the lobby and up to the 29th floor, checking every pocket – that’s ten pockets in all counting the blazer and the slacks – for the hotel key card. Find the card, get to the door and BAM! What happens? That little red light flashes on the brass door handle mocking you that once again she’s not going to open.

Outside of the cancelled or delayed flight, is there any bigger routine killer than the key card that refuses to open the hotel room door?

Ah, the dreaded hotel key card. The nemesis of any traveler.

The master of disaster.

Plastic from hell.

Are you kidding me? It’s not even a key. It’s a hunk of plastic.

I mean really, is there anything worse than your key card inexplicably pulling up a red light? That red light only means one thing: you have to drag yourself back down to the reception desk to get a new one.

Eurasian keys are still keys in every sense...

Now, the Media Guy isn’t violent, but at the end of a long day of meetings or even a long day of exploring ruins in the middle of Timbuktu, the last thing you want is a delay getting back to your room for a hot shower and some room service. It’s at that moment you say to yourself, whoever invented the hotel key card needs to be hunted down and shot. Yes, the hotel key card is the travel’s nightmare.

In this instance, I had a lot of time to reflect on the hotel key card as I embodied Mr. Toad during his Wild Ride attempting to get back to the front desk to get a new card. Wouldn’t it be my luck that the sixteenth floor had a massive water leak that pretty much soaked the whole floor and wiped out three of the four elevators?

...and wildly more reliable.

The stairs were closed so there I waited, zipping through my iPhone, sending out news releases and trying not to overly eavesdrop on the couple ten paces away. It was obvious they were feuding long before my personal crisis started, yet their conversation was enthralling with an equal mix of business and displeasure. This was a whole lot better than Tropic of Cancer and, believe it or not, a whole lot sexier.

The couple was tucked into the corner of the elevator banks next to the faux Tiffany lamp acting like they wanted to be discreet, yet too angry to worry about it. They were something out of Abercrombie &; Fitch. Wildly attractive, young and fit with an edge that only comes with youth.

“F*#% you Steve, ok? F*#% you!” she said. “Why do you constantly pull that s*#%? Honestly, I can’t understand you!”

“What is your deal? Understand me? I never get why you act like this,” Steve replied.

“You’re so f*#%ing dumb Steve seriously. I’m so done with you.”

“Oh we’re done because care about you? You’re I’m just supposed to disregard it all? I was worried about you ok?”

“So you call my f*#%ing boss? You’re acting jealous stupid! What business do you have calling my boss and telling him about my side projects?”

Yep, this looked like Steve and his girlfriend.

“I didn’t call him to tell him about you, we’re in the middle of nowhere and you disappeared.  I called him to see if he knew where you were. I was worried about you baby.”

“Don’t f*#%ing call me baby or honey bear or any of that crap do you understand me? If you call me that crap again I’m going to smack you,” the girl said. “Don’t worry about ‘your baby’…where's my journal with my presentation for tomorrow?”

That’s when the room got silent. Steve was speechless about the journal question. As I stared endlessly at the down arrow in the elevator, I kept thinking that this would definitely get more fascinating before it got less. I opted to shut up and let it all flow. My old boss at the Pool Company used to say once that once the meeting went off on a tangent “to ride the flow” and gather in all of the information they tangentmakers were willing to give out without being prompted. This is where loose lips sink ships so to say. When emotions are out of control, people are apt to say anything. These were wise words and over my career I’ve gained a tremendous amount of knowledge just be absorbing the room. Sponge it all in.

By the time he stammered around searching for an answer that would please her, you could tell panic had set in. Have you ever been really grilled by a boss or significant other and didn’t have an answer? You know, where your face turns clammy pale and the beads of sweat pool your forehead crinkles? Well, that was Steve.

 Steve pulled out his phone and started punching buttons.

“What are you doing Steve? I asked you a question. What are you doing? You’d better not be trying to question my boss anymore. He’s only supposed to know that I am here for the modeling assignment.”

“I just wanted to call the restaurant and see if I left my carrier bag there,” Steve said.

“Are you f*#%ing stupid Steve? You had my journal in there and you left it somewhere?”

And that’s when it happened. She picked up that fake Tiffany lamp and hurled it at his head. It was lying in slow motion I swear. It smacked the wall with a ringing the most perfect crackle of glass a fit of rage ever produces. It was perfect, yet I don’t know how she was managed to miss him. Maybe it was because she was a lefty.

That’s when she stared him down. “I don’t want you to talk Steve! Understand this: you better get out a pen and write down everything I tell you before I forget everything that was in my journal, you f*#%er!”

What followed was dissertation on advertising that would have made a professor blush with the mere fact that when compared to her, most media experts don’t know anything. I even found myself talking mental notes on her brilliant verbal essay. The funny thing is that during her information dump, every twenty words or so she was punctuate her sentences with a “F*#%” or would call poor Steve a “douchebag.” Try as I might, I couldn’t help but snicker every time she said “douche.” There’s something about a guy going all Mike Tyson silent as if Robin Givens is being interviewed by Barbara Walters and her calling him names throughout. 

Anyway, they were so far gone into the zone that I was completely invisible. I could have been dancing naked around them and she still would be forcing to be him to take down every word.

At this point I was praying that the elevator wouldn't come. I was learning too much. And just like that, the cussing ending and they were lip-locked. I mean really going at…Cinemax Style. Just as I wondered how the dreaded key card dropped me into this surrealism, the elevator arrived and Steve immediately looked up and said, “I apologize about my crazy girlfriend.”

The instant he said that, she started screaming at me, “F*#%-you-no-tie-suit-guy! You’re just a f*#%ing douche too.” I laughed and walking into the crowded elevator just as they started kissing again.

We started our gradual descent as they four ladies snickered [in the same manner I did when she was calling Steve a douche] in what was about to be a total retreat from my previous ten minutes. My four passengers / new friends shared stories of their own hotel stories waits and dreaded key cards. In no time the conversation turned to the brilliant media model / psychotic girlfriend's antics.

“Were you trying to be the third person into that mess?” the audacious one in the group finally piped in.

“Don’t let that girl scare you, I’m just a simple Media Guy, I promise.”

“What was her problem?”

I told her that this is what occurs when you mix a little bit drunk, and dash of brilliance and a whole lot of crazy together. Weird Happens!

With that we all shared the bond of strange humor as the elevator reached the lobby and the line for new key cards was thirty deep.

Ah, new friends, power of riding the flow and tangentmakers.

Setting Up Shop in Paradise

From the forthcoming book: Landscapes of  Life.

I love my work, but I'd wager a lot that this Media Guy has said, "I need a vacation...STAT!" more often than I care to admit.

Last week I recalled the last time I was at the Aruba airport. I took an Insta-Poll with a throng of  tourists returning to Anytown, USA. It seemed that everyone was lamenting the same thing: how on Earth did I make the choice to live in ____________? (Fill in the blank yourself as the cities ranged from Boston to Houston to Des Moines.) The universal them was "why couldn't I live in paradise?"

That got me thinking. Why can't the Media Guy open an office in Waikiki? After all, resort towns offer opportunity after opportunity to entrepreneurs and the self-employed. Service professionals (NO! not those kind of service professionals! I mean journalists, doctors, plumbers, consultants,etc.) can all earn a cozy living in the most desirable tourist hot-spots around the globe.

That's when I reached out to John Berglund who was once a chief county prosecutor and then transitioned into a lobbyist and trade-association executive. At the end, he left the “rat race” for his Caribbean perfumery in St. Martin. Ah, paradise.

Dreams come true, but not through wishful thinking, says John Berglund, a corporate executive turned “flip-flop perfumer.”After successful careers as an attorney, lobbyist, trade-association executive and bowling industry magnate, Berglund tired of the corporate rat race.  He was also tired of winters bundled in layers of long johns, shoveling snow.

“Everybody has their own version of paradise,” says the author of A Beach Less Traveled: From Corporate Chaos to Flip-Flop Perfumer (www.abeachlesstraveled.com). “Whether it’s New York City, the Great Smokey Mountains or my personal favorite, the French-Caribbean island of St. Martin, paradise is within reach – with a little planning.”

An essential part of that was deciding what to do for a living once he got there. Berglund would embark on his new career path as a perfumer with his wife of more than 30 years, Cyndi. How did he do it? He shares the strategies that worked – and some that didn't.

• Dream big … and do it: Berglund remembers sunning on a pristine beach with his wife, listening to the gentle sounds of wind and turquoise seawater lapping on the shore. When Cyndi heard him order an adult beverage in French, she shook his arm to wake him for the morning commute to work … in the dead of winter in Wisconsin. He was dreaming – literally. “I’d always had a high standard of living, which I’ve enjoyed, but it was time for me to risk a completely foreign scenario – in terms of business and lifestyle – and follow this dream.”

• Business trends: Boutique perfumeries are where boutique wineries were three decades ago – they’re personal, fun and interactive, Berglund says. They’re not just about walking into a store and choosing a bottle from a shelf. He offers his customers a hands-on experience customizing their scents, and by using local ingredients, he offers visitors a meaningful souvenir of their stay. Berglund envisions his new business as a model at several vacation destinations.

• Fortitude amid real-world challenges: A dream is the spark to the journey, but moving to St. Martin, where the natives speak French and Dutch, and starting a business takes work. The hurdles for Berglund included the search for property, anxiety on closing the property deal, remodeling, acclimating to life there, obtaining a business license, moving and the language barrier. “These problems may be deal-breakers for many people, but part of the excitement of doing anything worthwhile is the fact that it’s not easy,” he says.

• A history of business sense: Creating an unprecedented cottage industry may seem like a long shot layered in wishful thinking. “But this isn’t my first rodeo,” Berglund says. “I’ve made several career moves throughout my life, and no matter how unlikely, I always came out okay.” He acknowledges, however, that he was in the right phase of his life to pull off such a change. Plan and prepare so you’re ready for change, he says. Risk is involved.

• Loved ones: Even though Berglund’s children were grown and he was capable of achieving his dream, he needed to make sure Cyndi was on board. “You can do all the planning and troubleshooting that is necessary for a dream to work, but the one thing that can change the minds of the most passionate is the opposition of a loved one,” he says. “It’s worth a discussion with your family early in the planning process.”    

So lesson learned...when your return flight comes calling on your next vacation, you may want to consider turning your paradise into a new way of life.
 

New Book from the Media Guy Coming soon!

New Book Cover Art

Many of you emailed me regarding my SHEESH! blog where I talked about the frustrations of dealing with book editors and the delays in book publishing. Last week, I received some wonderful news: as part of a two book deal, my "LANDSCAPES OF LIFE: Behind the Lens" (ISBN: 9781622091324) will be out in sixty to ninety days and on sale at Amazon.com and a few other spots -- although NOT at Borders, what a shame. There's even an eBook and audio book in the works that will be available at the iTunes store!

My publisher came up with this for the back cover ...

Take a visual journey through the eyes of the makeshift anthropologist. The extraordinary photographs showcased in Landscapes of Life are from of the eyes Michael Lloyd, who snaps at will to capture the moments often missed,  

This remarkable book showcases hundreds of emotions adding up to a panoramic view of life from Los Angeles to Lebanon. You'll discover heartwarming photographs that perfectly capture the spirit of the mind. 

His subjects, entangled in their emotions, all seem to feel unobserved and safe. We remain unaware about the causes of the passionate feelings of his characters, their experiences before being captured in their apparently agitated and alternating loving moods. 

With images of princesses, camel jockeys, immigrants, and mountain men, husband hunters, interns, people finding inner peace in the Great Pyramid of Egypt and life inside pre-revolution Syria and the constantly perilous Beirut, and more! Landscapes of Life captures the world's cosmopolitan lifestyles and common living with intimate portraits and the human intimacy inside, where the heart lives. 

Your imagination couples with the writing to create expanded stories behind these photos to embark on an exciting journey. They remind us of film scenes we have never seen. Lloyd's photos are very expressive, matching the subjects that are filled with exciting details. The observer can't escape the unique mood highlighted in these photos.

(Wow! I sound like Ansel Adams...)

Thanks for the support everyone!

Dust Jacket Art with Book Flaps

MGS Chat: UFC President Dana White

It seems that the Ultimate Fighting Championship has been a media darling since it was founded. President Dana White is everything the pundits want. From straightforward answers, to matching the best fighters to organizational transparency, White is the complete package. But event disaster struck this week as the UFC 151 card cancelled its lucrative pay-per-view event for the very first time in its history.

I was part of the drama-filled conference as White explained his decision...

Dana White: This is probably one of my all-time lows as being President of the UFC over the last 11 years. For the first time in 11 years we're gonna cancel an event. This Saturday's fight at Mandalay Bay is being cancelled. Dan Henderson has a partial tear in his MCL and couldn't continue. He tried to train. He tried to continue to work out. He saw doctors and there was nothing we could do to save that fight. One of the things that you guys have heard me brag about a million times, how UFC doesn't have to cancel events, we can always find a replacement. For somebody to fight Jon Jones on eight days' notice is tough to do, but to be totally honest with you guys, one guy did. Not only when we called him did he say, 'I'll take the fight,' he said, 'I'll fly to Las Vegas tonight and fight him," and that was Chael Sonnen. Chael Sonnen accepted the fight with Jon Jones, wanted the fight bad. As of 8-9 o'clock last night, we had a fight. We here at the UFC started working, creating different commercials, PR started to crank up. I was gonna do this call and obviously it was gonna be a different call this morning but the one thing that I never thought in a million years would happen, happened. Jon Jones said, 'I'm not fighting Chael Sonnen with eight days notice." Again, something that's never happened in UFC history. A guy who's a world champion and considered one of the pound-for-pound best turns down a fight. That has never happened either. So right now what's happening is this fight is cancelled. It'll be Jon Jones vs. Lyoto Machida on Saturday September 22nd on the Toronto, Canada card at UFC 152.

Q: Did light heavyweight champion Jon Jones know what would happen if he turned down the Chael Sonnen fight?

DW: Believe me, I haven't slept at all since last night. [Jon Jones] has been hit with some options. He knows what the consequences were and what would happen.

Q: Did Lyoto Machida get the call to step in as well?

DW: When it was going down and we were trying to make the fight, Machida was actually in the air, then landed in a connector fight for Brazil. He was already gone. He was in the air. I can accept that. I can accept why Machida didn't take the fight. Completely different circumstances. Completely different story. When [Jon Jones] got the call he said, 'I've got to sit down and talk to my coaches.' His coach Greg Jackson says there's no way you take this fight. You don't take this fight on eight days' notice. It would be the biggest mistake of your entire career. Wow. Chael Sonnen is a 185-pounder who wants to move up to 205 who hasn't trained a day for this fight and the fight is in eight days and he says he'll fly to Vegas tonight the supposed pound-for-pound third best fighter in the world, the world champion. How much faith do you have in your champion and your guy? I literally just bumped into Greg Jackson the other day and I was kinda joking around about some of the things I've said. I'll tell you what. I'll go on the record saying this guy is a fucking sport-killer. This guy is from another planet. I've never even seen anything like it in my life.

Q: What about Dan Henderson's injury?

DW: He's got a partial tear in his MCL. He'd like a little more time to take this fight but we can't be in the same position. We can't be sitting around all worried about if Dan can be ready for the 22nd and he said the same thing. We'll see what happens. It's not like Dan has to go in and he needs surgery but he's got a tear in his MCL and he has problems with lateral movement and some other positions so he couldn't do the fight. Jon Jones is in shape and he's ready to go. Machida is next in line and Dan's hurt so that's the fight that's gonna happen. It's in Jon Jones' head that he didn't prepare for this guy. I don't know know, man. In the history of the UFC, Tito's been the most difficult guy in the history of the company since I've been here and Tito Ortiz didn't not take fights.

Q: How will Jon Jones' image be affected and what are your feeling on his 'business-like' approach to fighting?

DW: I don't think it's great. The first fight ever cancelled in UFC history since we owned the company and the first champion to ever turn down a match. Let me tell you what. (laughs) I always laugh when I hear a fighter say, "I'm a businessman." No you're not. You're a fighter. You see moves like this and other things where if they were real businessmen, we wouldn't be having this conference call right now.

Q: Will Dan Henderson still be the number one contender when he comes back?

DW: You know how that always works. Look at Rashad. If you don't get that shot right when it's there and available, all kinds of crazy things can happen, or maybe it will be available right when he comes back. Who knows? I can't answer that question.

Q: Why did you decided to scrap the entire event:?

DW: Because we're eight, seven, I don't know how many days away we are to the fight and this thing went right down to the wire right before we got on this call. We don't have time. We're strapped for time. If Dan Henderson would have gotten hurt two weeks' ago, this would have been a different story. But eight days and Jon Jones acting like this and all this other bullshit, we can't do it.

Q: How does this change your relationship with Jon Jones:?

DW: A lot. Jon Jones has been one of these guys with as much as he's won and all the things he's accomplished in a short amount of time, he burst onto the scene a year and a half ago. He's ripped though the top guys. He's been a champion that hasn't been very popular, you know? I don't think this is going to do wonders for his popularity. As far as his relationship with us, me and Lorenzo are both disgusted.

Q: ehat are the ramifications of cancelling the show:

DW: It's a major, major deal. We lose shitloads of money, money that's already been spent. We're eight days out. We spent shitloads of money on this fight. I could sit here and we've been talking about it all morning about how far this goes and how bad it hurts but I don't know because we've never done it. I don't know what I don't know yet.

Q: What about ticket refunds and the financial backlash?

DW: They'll get refunded. Just if you were going to a boxing match or a concert and the thing got cancelled. You call Ticketmaster and everything gets refunded. Cancel your flights and hopefully everything is refundable and you can switch them to Toronto or another fight if you want to. {The financial backlash], it's huge. The prelims were gonna air on FX and all the marketing that's been spent. We don't play. We spent some money. We've got billboards in Time Square, New York, all the money. You've seen television ads that've been running. The list goes on and on. It's a massive, massive hit.

Q: What are your feelings about Greg Jackson

DW: I'm very confused by his whole fucking business plan. I don't give a shit what Greg Jackson thinks. This guy is a fucking weirdo man. Turning down a fucking fight, saying if he doesn't turn down a fight with Chael Sonnen it would be the biggest mistake of his entire career because he's not ready for that guy? Greg Jackson should never be interviewed by anybody ever again except by a psychiatrist.

That's a wrap. Thanks for stopping by!

BAD MEDIA: Porn Ruining Relationships

There's good media and bad media.

I know in the days where I used to work with The Walt Disney Company, if you had a client on your roster that was even remotely close to pornography, your business relationship would be in serious jeopardy. Porn is very bad for work, we all know that, but now we are starting to realize that it's even worse for home.

These days, the glimpse of a naked body after being misdirected to a porn site is no shock to the average internet user. What may prove more surprising is the pornography industry’s statistics, compiled worldwide, wherein a second is worth 1,000 images -- or more:

• $3,075.64 is spent on pornography … every second
• 28,258 internet users view pornography … every second
• 372 internet users type porn terms into search engines … every second

“There have been several surveys about who’s viewing internet pornography and what consequences they’re experiencing, and the findings are disquieting,” says Jim Wysong, author of The Neutering of the American Male (www.TheNeuteringoftheAmericanMale.com).

“In a 20,000-person study recently conducted by TED.com, porn is the most prevalently cited obstacle for romantic relationships between men and women in their teens and 20s. Women say guys are emotionally unavailable, and men say porn makes them less interested in pursuing a relationship.

“In reality, men have been compromising their masculine nature for several decades.”

A lack of involvement by fathers in raising their sons; the overuse of prescription and illegal drugs; and uncertainty about their gender role have set American boys and men back, Wysong says.

“We all have a need to feel significant, to be accepted and loved, but those issues  prevent some males from developing fulfilling relationships,” Wysong says.

“Sexual intimacy is typically a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, when people don't have a fulfilling relationship, their sexual desires don't disappear.”

Men are often more visual and physical, so they’re able to use pornography to meet some of that need in the short term. But in the long run, they also need the emotional support, nurturing and deeper connection with a partner, he says.

“It becomes a vicious cycle: Males turn to pornography seeking to satisfy unmet needs, and pornography addiction makes it extremely difficult to achieve the balanced, loving relationship that would meet their emotional needs,” he says.

A Canadian study found that one in three teenage boys are “heavy porn users,’’ and an Italian study reveals that a large percentage of men there suffer from “sexual anorexia,” a temporary impotence, in their 20s because they were heavily into pornography in their teens, Wysong notes.

Parents, especially fathers, need to sit down with their sons and discuss sex. The lack of dialogue leaves young males to seek the answers to their curiosity on their own. Unfortunately, many turn to porn, which does not portray sex in a healthy and balanced way.

One of the most destructive things about it is that it portrays women as something to be used rather than valued and respected, Wysong says.

“Fortunately, this is something that can be remedied, both on a physical and a mental level,” he says.
If you’re concerned that you or a loved one is addicted to porn, Wysong suggests taking this self test from www.recoveryconnection.org:

1. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after looking at pornography?
2. Do you look forward to being alone so you can look at pornography?
3. Has pornography negatively affected your personal relationships, your job, or your finances?
4. Do you find that you have been looking at an increasing amount of pornography over time?
5. Do you look at pornography when you are bored, anxious, or lonely?

A yes to one or more of these questions may indicate a need for a quality treatment program. The Media Guy agrees wholeheartedly.