Notes from a Tinseltown Weekend

Okay, so where am I?

Top left and around: Taylor, Seacrest, Nick Jonas, Ludacris,
me, Iggy, the red carpet, Pia Toscano, and my credential.

I'm in Hollywood getting ready to fly out on another top secret media campaign. Well, not so top secret, more of a non-disclosure, which binds my silences. Before the free drinks flow in the Cathay Pacific Business Lounge, I had a little business to wrap up in tinseltown.

With all the hoopla of the iHeart Radio Music Awards (yes, the red carpet was amazing once again), you may have missed a little tidbit on the official release of the video from my Miss Pilot show called "You Gave Me Love." While it's only been watched on my youtube page a few times, a couple of other posts have been watched almost 1,000,000 times combined. I mean, it's no grumpy cat, but for a little Japanese show that could, I will take it any day of the week:

The past few days have been bittersweet as a countdown to the last days of Mad Men (more on that later). In between it all, a ran across some news that may or may note blow you away.

Breakfast Is Not The Most Important Meal Of The Day...No, your parents did not lie to you. They were just misinformed. As with many studies surrounding food, a majority of the research surrounding breakfast was funded by those peddlers of cereal and bacon (side note: don't eat bacon) — unsurprisingly concluding that a complete breakfast was necessary to a healthy lifestyle. But, according to a dietician and a cultural historian interviewed by Hopes & Fears, breakfast, as a structured meal, really doesn't matter. If you're hungry in the morning, eat! If you're not, then don't lay an egg, just eat whenever hunger strikes. The most important thing to remember is that it's not when you eat, but what you eat. 

The Machines Now Decide If You Get That Job, Based On Your Voice...Decades of voice research has revealed that no matter how happy, or inspired, or serious people try to sound — underneath all that inflection lies a telltale "fingerprint" of a person's voice that influences how others perceive you. And when it comes to jobs that rely heavily on putting people at ease, or diffusing anger or winning others over, companies are starting to use algorithms to systematically weed out the good voices from the bad. It's bad news if you're looking to get into sales or work at a call center, but maybe good news that your career isn't in dealing with people all day?

Filed under "every great New York media lunch started with a pastrami sandwich, a good drink and a willing client" comes  BEEF GRIEF...The Price Of Pastrami In New York Is Too Damn High. Imagine this sign:

“Due to the increased price of pastrami,” it began, unpromisingly, “we at the Yankee Tavern apologize for the increase in prices for the pastrami items.” 

Yes...Pastrami is in crisis.

This Professor Has Invented A Pill That Eliminates Hangovers...Former chief drugs adviser, Professor David Nutt has answered your sweaty, toilet-bowl-hugging prayers and invented a non-toxic inebriant drug that mimics the effects of alcohol: without the hangover. 

RELATED: DRINK LIKE A MAD MAN AND MAKING IT AT A MAD MAN PARTY

THE END IS NEAR...Mad Men is coming to an end in seven hours of television. I'm a bit broken up about it. Maybe it's because for 99% of the viewing public it is just great television. For me, I lived it. Watching the drama at Sterling, Cooper, Draper, etc. is like a little snippet of my childhood, only the people are prettier and it's set in New York. Virtually everything that happened through the first six and a half seasons occurred in my life. Almost as if they read my diary, er, not that I keep one. So, as Don Draper and company get ready to clock out for good, AMC allows us to get up close and personal with our favorite ad team. I suppose you'll know where I'll be April 5 at 10p EST.

But before you check out the photos and a trailer for the new season below, get a little reading in. Haley Herfurth of Menatl_Floss reports that since its start in 2007, AMC’s Mad Men has mentioned, discussed, or alluded to a considerable amount of classic literature, from authors like Dante to Mark Twain to Edward Gibbon. Each mention or allusion serves a purpose within the show’s plotline, working either to explain a character, set a scene, or provide context for decisions made or actions taken. So if you're going to watch a whole day of television, the least you could do is read one of these 12 classics.

Now, without further delay, all of our favorites are featured -- Outdoor Soiree Style:

• Thanks to FRANK OCKENFELS 3/AMC for the images.

Catching up with Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model

Margrét, my "New Favorite Amazon Model" has become some sort of a cult hero in the Media Guy Struggles Pantheon of characters. Ah yes, Margrét. Many hold her in the highest regard after an appearing in my number one all time story: Nude Modeling. Funny you ask because just hours before I left for my annual Japanese TV show circus trip, we hooked up for lunch to plan some new work.

A lunch with Margrét isn't just about food. Sure I wanted to eat, but a lunch with her is more about a life lesson on how to be real and a lot less about photography and modeling.

Things are looking up for Margrét... 

What's not to learn? She seems to have somehow cornered the happiness market. She has a bucket of sunshine for a backyard, a full passport, half-a-mill per year coming in (according to her agent), countless private exhibitions devoted to her long, lithe body, a Rolls, a clean arrest record, and an attitude that lulls you into a state of affection.

She met me at her private apartment, which is not like your house (or apartment, private or otherwise).

Her apartment is more like an English flat with a day spa attached. Outside her guest bedroom she has a sumptuous marble and granite fireplace that doubles as a sound machine for the soothing sound of water falling from the heavens. The aroma of essential Dior oils waft through the air. Pitchers of water laced with cucumber abound throughout the space.

She greets me in her modeling smock, which is not like your modeling smock.

Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model (MMNFAM): Well, sir, you must be thrilled! The American Media Guy strolling back into Japan to film some commercials and shoot another season of your show  with just the right amount of cocky.

Media Guy: Well, Margrét, I attended an EPIC party after the Oscars. The local Burning Man group threw a massive 3-day desert party out in Boulder City, and around 600 people showed up to tune in, turn on, and camp out in what basically amounted to a mini version of the real Burning Man. Now, I know Burning Man is basically just a big frat kegger with tutus and hula hoops…but for many people, the whole Burning Man ethos has become a lifestyle and a real community. There are probably at least a thousand Burners (as they call Burning Man habitués) living in Vegas, and our local group is pretty hardcore. Many of them/us meet up all the time for parties, campouts, drum circles, spaghetti dinners and art events. It's great muse for a new TV show I'm trying to develop.

Psychedelic Polaroids!

MMNFAM: Part of the whole Burning Man culture is sharing your art with others and making an inclusive, interactive experience. I just setup my home studio to share my love of costumes and photography by taking psychedelic portraits with other models that come through. I even ordered a bunch of Polaroid film, so that I could give out hard copies. As much as I love psychedelic polaroids with visitors, nothing can match the Clown Motel!


Media Guy: Clown Motel? Frightening and wildly interesting all at once.

MMNFAM: OMG, this Clown Motel has been on my bucket list forever — every time I drive by it, I literally start drooling with lust: a beat-up-looking old dive motel with clowns all over the facade, like they’re trying to scare away business instead of lure in customers. I love contrarian awesomeness like this and I was lucky enough to book a shoot there to make life just that much more exciting! We drove into the parking lot in the dark, and it was really creepy: the manager’s office is a tiny little wood-paneled room chock full of hundreds and hundreds of clown figurines, clown dolls, Precious Moments clowns and one or two extra-terrifying life-sized clowns sitting around in chairs. Kind of like your grandma’s house, if she was Norman Bates's insane other roommate. I asked where the shoot was and the clerk handed me the key: “Why don’t you go check out the room first, then come back and let me know if you still want to do the shoot it.” DOUBLE YIKES!! As I went over to check out the room, it was something out of some bad cult horror movie: stained carpet, torn curtains, two black velvet paintings of clowns on the wall. The photographer was ready and the client was munching on M&Ms from the craft service table. So I stayed and it wound up being an incredibly fun day. They are even thing of using me for a new reality pilot Bravo is making.

Make me a bicycle, clown!

Media Guy: I remember a while back you mentioned you might be playing Earth Mother-Goddess soon. Did that ever take off?

MMNFAM: It did happen. I was invited for a shoot at the Ironman World Championship, playing Earth Mother Goddess. This meant that the fittest, most shredded athletes in the entire world were coming out to face off against each other in a bizarre, hairless swim-bike-run race-to-the-death among the crème de la crème of Spandex-clad Type A Caucasians with $18,000 bicycles and too much time on their hands. A quick Wikipedia investigation the night before had revealed that these insane individuals planned to swim 2.4 miles in open seas, after which they would race ashore, dripping with seawater, and mount the aforementioned $18,000 bikes for a 112-mile bike ride through the searing Hawaiian desert…before dismounting and embarking upon a full, 26.2-mile marathon. You might assume it was for the prize money — $120,000 to the winner, who usually finishes in around 8 hours. But there were over 2,200 entrants in this race, and only those finishing in the Top 10 of each gender got any prize money. That means something like 2,120 put themselves through this torture for free. Actually it was worse — they had to pay something like $700 to enter the race, not to mention the cost of gear, airfare and accommodations. So, these people were basically shelling out thousands for the privilege of torturing themselves. Or for bragging rights, I suppose. Ah, the cray-cray stuff white people do!

Well, I’m pretty fit myself — I work out fairly religiously, in a Sisyphean quest to keep my ass up where it’s supposed to be, so I’m pretty well used to being the fittest person, or at least among the fittest people, in any given room. But, for the love of God, what did I sign myself up for?! I was surrounded by superhuman cyborgs in peak physical condition, all of whom were on special low-carb/no carb/protein-heavy diets that surely didn’t allow for any alcohol. I won't bore you with the rest, but I'll tell you that it came off pretty good and I even got some R&R in after the grueling sun-drenched shoot.

R&R: Censored!

Media Guy: Not that you squeezed in some rest and relaxation in Hawaii, what exotic things are next?

MMNFAM: Aliens!!! Seriously I have a trip planned up to Area 51 to research a movie role that starts shooting in Germany. I had originally planned to camp out at the drum circle and just sleep in my truck bed, under the stars, and then head to Area 51 from there, but I guess I’m too high maintenance to be that much of a gypsy, because the lure of a hot shower and my comfy bed is too much to resist, so I booked a room at the nearest three-star knowing I couldn't last all night out there.

Electrified.

Media Guy: Maybe you should be known as queen of the strange shoots.

MMNFAM: Not all my gigs were freaky, though — I actually did a few normal, “nice-girl”-type jobs recently, just to keep my nice-girl skills from rusting. One night I worked a charity fundraiser wine-pouring event for this smoking hot French winemaker, who used to be a rugby star but retired to open a winery in the south of France. Must be nice... Anyway, he only showed up for photos at the beginning of the event, and then delegated the job to his assistant, this adorable little French hottie who took a shine to me. I offered to give him a ride back to his hotel after the event, because there were no taxis at the venue, and to thank me for my help he hooked me up with two cases of high-end French wine. SCORE! I normally drink Coppola or worse, so this is a real treat. Meanwhile, I was kinda nervous about pouring high-end wine for all these cork-sniffers who come to show off their new stuff and whatnot and talk fancy about wine. But I didn't need to because everyone was so wasted it was embarrassing. These poseur chippies would stumble up to my table with their wineglasses held out for a pour, and the French hottie would start blathering about the terroir and notes of oak and you could see these adies had zero idea what he was talking about...nor did they care.

Media Guy: All of this confirming the fact that you are the queen of the strange shoots.

MMNFAM: I guess there's no denying that! See you at that wedding next month. Crashing here we come.

Backstage at the Oscars: 2015

Reason no. 1,341 why I love writing the annual “Oscars Backstage” column: My agent.

I need a slightly smaller version of this one!

Last year, I reported on my tear-inducing plea to my agent imploring him to draw a map for me so I could be in a position to bring him that wondrous eight-pound statuette. After his two-word reply ("I will"), I was buoyed by the prospects. Multiple scripts in hand and a fully rehearsed Oscars acceptance speech in hand has gotten me nothing.

And yet …

I keep dreaming. We keep dreaming. We take the words of Best Adapted Screenplay winner Graham Moore ("The Imitation Game") when he says on stage, "Stay weird, stay different. And then when it's your turn and you're standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along."

Powerful stuff. I almost cried. Again, here's to dreaming.

The red carpet was something to behold once again...rainy with a frenzy of Haute Couture and modified tuxedos. I had an optimum spot next to Rolling Stone magazine, mostly because I overheard so much. Like how shocked Michael Keaton said he was to be nominated for his first Oscar and how Julianne Moore said her her two dogs are "more work than my kids." John Travolta was all hands on the red carpet and onstage (nearly groping Idina Menzel Alas, there was no Jennifer Lawrence or Angelina Jolie to stalk, er, photograph. That, however, did not derail this Media Guy. I found a new favorite: Marion Cotillard.

She has an amazing allure and even giggled when I said "take me home with you to France." Made me root for her all night, but who can argue with the performance of Julianne Moore in "Still Alice" and that incredibly infectious laugh. It pays to be Alec Baldwin's wife onscreen these days...

And, although the Neil Patrick Harris hosted show dropped 14% over last year's Ellen DeGeneres selfie-fest, it was still watched by 34.6 million between 8:30 and 11 PM (early results). That's why advertisers spend a $1.95 million for a thirty second commercial on Oscars telecast.

As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's The Media Guy's journey and perspective backstage at the 87th Academy Awards® with a handful pictures and about 1,500 words including interview excerpts and intimate insights.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH: 
Julianne Moore, "Still Alice"
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Finally with Uncle Oscar. Julianne brings home the gold (Aaron Poole / ©A.M.P.A.S.)

Q.    I just want to say that you are the most patient actress in town.  Five times nominated and you finally won it.  And I want to know, do you think they played a role in the way in that you won this for a film that meant so much to you?

A.    Oh, I don't know.  You know, I mean, I believe in ‑‑ I believe in hard work, actually, you know. And I think ‑‑ and I like stories about ‑‑ mostly I like stories about people.  I like stories about real people and real relationships and real families, and that's what I respond to.  And this movie had all of those things in it.  It was about a, you know, it's about a real issue and relationships and who we love and what we value.  And so that's important to me too.  But I mean, I think just, at the end of the day, it's the work.  You know, it's being able to do work that I love that's been so rewarding.  And this is just amazing.

Q.    We're very eager to see more films that are adult drama, serious films.  And I'm wondering, films like yours, BIRDMAN, do you think that will have some sort of impact in an industry that is driven by these, you know, huge special effects, that whole type of movies?

A.    I hope it does.  I think there's an audience for movies like this.  I go to the movies because, like I said, I like to see complicated, interesting stories about people and relationships, you know.  So I think whenever there's success with films like this, then they kind of ‑‑ even people think about them more.  I don't know.  You know, you never know.  You know, at the end of the day, Hollywood is also a business, so I think it depends on how many people buy tickets.

What's it like backstage? Watch it here:

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH: 
Eddie Redmayne, "The Theory of Everything"
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Q.    Eddie, what are you going to be saying to Stephen Hawking following this win?  And are you going to be taking the statuette to show him as well?

A.    I think I will certainly go to Cambridge at some point to see Stephen, Jane, Jonathan, and the Hawking children.  They have been so kind to us the whole way through this process.  And it's ‑‑ I'm one of those people when I watch a film, I believe what I see on screen.  And so our responsibility to tell their story truthfully and authentically was...we felt it.  And so, their support throughout has been amazing.  Any excuse to go back to Cambridge, it's such a beautiful place.  So, yeah, I will definitely go and show it.

Redmayne is REALLY happy to be an Oscar winner. (Aaron Poole / ©A.M.P.A.S.)

Q.    First of all, very well deserved for an outstanding performance.  Can you express your feelings when you went up on stage and received the Oscar?  And how will you celebrate this amazing day?

A.    I didn't hear you say the word.  That's so weird.  How did I feel?  How did I feel?  I don't ‑‑ I mean, the fact that it was Cate Blanchett giving it, I mean I did a film called THE GOLDEN AGE ‑‑ ELIZABETH:  THE GOLDEN AGE with Cate and it's one of the first films I did, and I just think she's such an exceptional actor.  And so I was recovering from that excitement of seeing her, and then just trying to bury all this frenzy of nerves and white noise and trying to speak articulately and, of course, you then forget everything but it just felt like a euphoria really, an extraordinary euphoria.  It's something I will not forget in a hurry.

Q.    I wanted to ask you about the pressures of playing someone that is still alive because obviously there's a lot of bio pics, and there obviously is a huge weight like for Alan Turing and THE IMITATION GAME.  But with this, that person is going to watch that movie.  How did you feel about it and how did that change your approach to it?

A.    I don't know if it changed my approach, but what it did was there were various things of this job.  I ‑‑ in preparation, I met people living with ALS, they let me into their lives, they were incredibly kind to me.  It was essential to me that I was authentic to what that experience is like.  Then it's about the science, getting the science right, you know, and then of course the main thing about Stephen, Jane, Jonathan and the kids is being true to them and then also making an entertaining film.  There were basically so many things that like terrified me about this film, but of course it galvanizes you, it makes you ‑‑ when the stakes are that high, it does force you to work harder and so that's what I tried to do.  And yeah, it's been amazing.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH: 
J.K. Simmons, "Whiplash"
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

J.K. Simmons says call your mom and dad, but never text.

Q.    With all of your long credits in stage, screen, television, T.V. commercials, what does this Oscar win mean to you?

A.    Well, maybe more people saw me tonight than see me in the commercials for the first time, because I know those are seen by more people than the films.  This is the, you know, the cherry on top of this extraordinary experience that WHIPLASH has been for me.

Q.    I got the feeling that you wanted to talk a little more about when you said, "Call your mom.  Call your dad."  It felt like you wanted to go somewhere with that.

A.    I got out most of what I wanted to, and I was somewhat taken aback by the response from people that I don't know, honestly.  So, but no, I said most of what I wanted to say.  I never go up there scripted, really.  Most of it came out.

Q.    You know, this has been quite a triumphant time, and we always talk about, especially actors, how do you cope with the down times how, do you cope with the lean times.  I'm always fascinated with how do you cope with success?  How have these weeks added up, looking back?  Thrilled?  Scared?  What?

A.    Yeah, it's definitely more tiring than the lean times.  The lean times, you get plenty of sleep, and you are not flying around everywhere.  So there is that.  And for me, the lean times were a wonderful and beautiful part of my life, you know.  I was, you know, struggling, quote/unquote, for many years doing regional theatre for not much money all over the country and doing odd jobs in between, but I didn't have a wife and kids to support.  So I had no responsibilities other than feeding myself and trying to be a decent human being and trying to get better at what I was wanting to do.  And I look back on those times with great fondness.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH: 
Patricia Arquette, "Boyhood"
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Jared Leto congratulates Arquette. (Monica Almeida/The New York Times)

Q.    What was the biggest challenge in this project for you?

A.    The weird thing is there was no challenge, in a weird way.  I was just amazed that this filmmaker, Richard Linklater, wanted to make a movie about everyday people, people we don't usually see in movies, and that he could get financing because it is a film business after all, and you can't have a contract because Olivia de Havilland fought for us not to be in indentured servitude. So we have a seven‑year contract rule in America.  So, this little boy could have decided at seven years he wanted to walk away.  And even though it was a small budget movie, $2.8 million, he could have walked away in the middle of our movie.  To sort of find a financier to give us money, even though it was just $2.8 million.  That's a big investment to make with no safety net.  And I was actually kind of blown away that the Producers Guild didn't honor that because that really was such a brave move.

Q.    What do you think, given the comments you made tonight about someone like Amy Pascal, the former Sony Pictures head who said, effectively, that women should be better negotiators, that it's not up to her to pay women more when she has effectively underpaid women.

A.    Again, I think we need federal laws that are comprehensive; in different states, they have altogether thrown out the Fairness Voting Act.  People think we have equal rights; we won't until we pass a Constitutional amendment in the United States of America where we pass the ERA once and for all and women have equal rights in America we won't have anything changed.  This morning, you know, there's these things, the Mani Cam and so on and what are you wearing.  I'm wearing a dress my best friend designed.  We have been best friends since we were 7 and 8 years old.  I think she was the first person who ever said to me, what do you want to be when we grow up?  We were standing next to her Barbie Dream House.  I made fun of her because she played with a Barbie and my mom wouldn't let us have Barbies.  She said, what do you want to be?  And I said I want to be an actor. What do you want to be?  She said, I want to be in fashion.  And she became a great fashion designer and she designed my gown, so it's like wearing love.  And we started an organization, GiveLove.org. And instead of getting a manicure, which I was supposed to do this morning for that dreaded Mani Cam, instead, I ended up trying to pull pictures because we started a sweepstakes this morning for our charity to do ecological sanitation in the world.  Now when I saw Harry Belafonte's picture up there, I remembered my mom.  She was an Equal Rights activist, she worked for civil rights.  And this is who I am.  This is the whole who I am.  I love my business, I love acting and I love being a human being on earth and I want to help.  I never saw this moment in me winning an Academy Award.  I never even thought I would be nominated and I was okay with that.  But you know what I did see?  I saw many things that have come true in my life, and one of them was helping thousands and thousands of people, and I have, and I will, and I will help millions of people.  Thank you.


BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH: 
Alejandro G. Iñárritu "Birdman or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance"
Directing

The Big Winner of the Night.

Q.    Congratulations on your win.  You joked on stage that you were wearing the BIRDMAN tighty‑whities.  Are you actually wearing them?

A.    We should be in a more intimate context to show you, which I don't think will happen.


Q.    Alejandro, tell me, from having this wild, artistic idea and seeing it all the way through to experience three Oscars with you, what's the lesson of that for you?  What does that tell you about your ambitions?

A.    About what, sorry?

Q.    To take ‑‑ just like following this dream, how does the trophy sort of validate what you are doing?

A.    You know, actually, I think ‑‑ it's a good question because I haven't figured out why I did what I did in this film, why I took those chances.  I think it's when you lose fear.  I think fear is an incredible ‑‑ fear is the condom of life, you know.  It doesn't allow you to enjoy things, so certainly when you fucking get the condom out then you say, okay, probably get it or not, but at least that's what it's ‑‑ so I put it out.  So I did it without and this is the result.  It was real.  It was making love for sure.

Past Oscars Columns:
2014 - 2013 - 2012

NOTES ON THE SCORECARD:

Who wore it better...?

Monica...

...or Lady Gaga?

He's got chills and they are a multiplying!:

John Travolta continues his Oscars onslaught. This time, Scarlett Johansson is the victim.

John Legend and Common were epic:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun starring Kerry Washington and Viola Davis...

Caught a gander at THE ENVELOPES!

The famous envelopes are 75 years old, though Oscar itself is 87 years old. Two extra sets of the Oscars envelopes are made, as emergency backups. Red lacquered lining is waxed to ensure the card with winner's name is fumble-proof. The stuffing of the envelopes takes place outside of the studio, in a top-secret process that protects the Academy's picks. Weighing a quarter of a pound, each costing $200 each to produce and seen by millions of viewers around the world, it's the Oscar envelope.

It bears, after all, the Oscar winner's name.

Finally, my top six favorites from the red carpet:

6) Jared Leto as he fights the rain...

5) Anna Kendrick in her raspberry heaven of a dress...

4) The fedora'ed J.K. Simmons...

3) The spunk and fun of Reese Witherspoon...

2) Capt. Red Carpet: Adam Levine...

And my #1 favorite: Marion Cotillard:

With that, I'll see you next year on the red carpet with an update from my agent!

Fined

"I'm here so I won't get fined..."

With a $500,000 fine looming, Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch made a bizarre appearance at Super Bowl Media Day. The famously tight-lipped running back gave a big eff you to reporters and the NFL who forced him in front of a microphone for the leaque minimum five minutes by responding to 25 straight questions with the same answer: "I'm here so I won't get fined."



All of this begs the question: Why not hire a media trainer?

Last year I detailed how to eliminate your stage fright. But for some, reading a column and taking a bit of advice isn't enough. I mean, even kings need special exercises ala Colin Firth in his Academy Award winning turn in the "The King's Speech" ...

"I'm a thistle-sifter. I have a sieve of sifted thistles and a sieve of unsifted thistles. Because I'm a thistle-sifter."

Whether giving an interview to CNN, speaking to an audience of 1 to 1,000 or facing a camera, getting the proper training enables the comport you need to help you avoid the mistakes that everyone makes.

In my early media days I was given a guide to conquering the media. I still have it an it's been invaluable for decades as both a speaker and a trainer. I call it the Holy Grail of Media...perhaps that's a stretch...

• Don’t be afraid of the interview.
• Keep in mind that the great majority of reporters are cordial people who are not out to harm you. They just want to get a story that will satisfy their editors and go home to their family.
• Reporters hate when someone misleads or lies to them. Reporters don’t like it when their stories have to be corrected through no fault of their own and because of inaccurate information provided to them.
• Don’t “wing it.”  Come prepared with notes  regarding the topic. 
• If you don’t know the answer to a question, tell the reporter that you’ll get back with an answer. 
• An interview is not a legal hearing. It’s okay to tell a reporter that some information is proprietary.
• Just because a reporter puts away a notebook or turns off a tape recorder doesn’t mean the interview is over and you can say anything without it being used. 
• If a reporter makes a statement that you do not agree with, say so. Remaining quiet may give the impression that you agree. 
• Don’t answer if you are not sure of a reporter’s question. Always ask for a clarification.
• Never say anything negative about an individual or company.
• Don’t stray from the subject of the interview to comment on the day’s news. That might open up a new line of questioning.
• If a print reporter signals that the interview is over but the client wants to provide additional information, it’s okay to ask the reporter for a few more minutes.
• Reporters like facts and figures. Instead of just voicing an opinion, back it up with facts and figures.
• Prior to departing, let the reporter know how you can be contacted if additional information is needed.
• And most important, never lie to a reporter.

So Marshawn, next time media day rolls around, give the Media Guy a ring...or just email me.

Super Bowl XLIX Commercials!

Super Bowl XLIX Ad Chart: Who's Buying Commercials in Super Bowl 2015

All the Marketers, Agencies, Creative Plans and Backstories, as We Learn Them

Psssst...first things first! Thanks to the AdAge team for the heads-up on this story. Secondly, if you need to see some of the spots before game day, go here. Now, on with the countdown..

The soft TV ad market this year is extending even to Super Bowl XLIX, where NBC said in November ad sales were moving along slightly more slowly than in prior years. Among returning advertisers, Coca-Cola and GoDaddy are each running one commercial instead of the two they bought in 2014.

Automakers, too, aren't crowding the field as much as they have lately, without as many new models that the game is well-timed to promote. (Volkswagen is out, among the notables.) There will be about a dozen new advertisers in the 2015 game, especially in digital commerce and technology. And, sadly, my Korean Ice Cream Commercial didn't make the cut:

Avocados From Mexico
Buy: One 30-second spot near the end of the first quarter
Creative: The spot and its approach will not be released until the ad airs.
Agency: Not disclosed

Anheuser-Busch InBev
Buy: The company has secured a total of seven 30-second ad units -- or 210 seconds -- for the game. That's slightly down from last year's 240 seconds of airtime. In Super Bowl XLVIII in February, 2014, the brewer's critical and costly Super Bowl play totaled three ads for Bud Light and two for
Budweiser.
Creative: The brewer, which has exclusive beer advertising rights for the game, will spotlight Bud Light with a 60-second, 80s-themed spot from BBDO and Budweiser with two 60-second ads from Anomaly. That leaves 30 seconds that could expand the Bud Light ad or be used by the brewer another way. The Clydesdales will return in one Bud ad, despite a brief internet scare, while the other will highlight Bud's "brewing credentials." Bud Light will continue the "Up for Whatever" campaign that began with in the 2014 game, this time promoting new packaging that will eventually feature more than 100 different messages scrolled on Bud Light bottles. The brewer plans to release all of its ads early to take advantage of the usual pre-game ad buzz.
Agency: BBDO (Bud Light); Anomaly (Budweiser)

BMW
Buy: One 60-second spot during the first quarter
Creative: Not disclosed
Agency: KBS handled creative duties and UM handled media buying.

Carnival Corp.
Buy: One 60-second spot, the company's first Super Bowl ad, as part of its campaign promoting its full range of brands. Carnival Corp. owns brands including Princess Cruises, Cunard, Holland America Line, Costa Cruises and Seabourn.
Creative: The company in December released four potential commercials and asked consumers to vote for their favorite, which will ultimately run in the game. Voters were entered in a contest promising a yearly cruise for life.
Agency: BBDO, Atlanta

Coca-Cola
Buy: One 60-second commercial for flagship soda brand Coca-Cola.
Creative: TBD. Coca-Cola ran two 60-second spots in the 2014 game, one shot in Green Bay and showing an underdog high school football player scoring a touchdown, and the other featuring people singing "America the Beautiful" in a variety of languages.
Agency: TBD. Wieden & Kenney made both of Coca-Cola's 2014 Super Bowl ads.

Doritos (PepsiCo's Frito-Lay)
Buy: Two 30-second commercials
Creative: Doritos is bringing its "Crash the Super Bowl" contest, which asks consumers to come up with its ads for the big game, back for the ninth year in a row.
Agency: Omnicom Group's Goodby, Silverstein & Partners has long assisted the contest.

Dove Men+Care (Unilever)
Buy: Undisclosed
Creative: The brand is coming back to the Super Bowl for the first time since its U.S. introduction in 2010 with a new campaign aimed at supporting the brand's commitment to "celebrating modern men," the company said.
Agency: Undisclosed. Omnicom Group's Davie Brown Entertainment has handled Dove Men+Care creative in recent years.

GoDaddy
Buy: The web-hosting company is back in the Super Bowl for an 11th consecutive year, but this time has only purchased one spot, down from its usual two.
Creative: The 30-second spot will be called "Journey Home" and feature Nascar star Danica Patrick and a puppy in telling the story of a business owner. (The company solicited names for the puppy via social media in December.) There will be a plot twist, according to GoDaddy CMO Barb Rechterman. The company has moved away from its earlier, sexually-suggestive Super Bowl strategy, and last year ran two commercials about real women who own small businesses.
Agency: Barton F. Graf 9000

Kia
Buy: One 60-second spot. Kia is making its sixth Super Bowl appearance in a row in 2015.
Creative: Former "Remington Steele" and James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan will appear to promote the 2016 Kia Sorento.
Agency: David & Goliath, which created last year's Super Bowl ad starring Laurence Fishburne in his "Matrix" role.

Lexus (Toyota)
Buy: One 30-second ad, titled "Make Some Noise"
Creative: Lexus released the commercial, its second Super Bowl ad, on Jan. 14, more than two weeks before the game, making it the first marketer to pre-release its spot. The ad shows the Lexus NX roaring elegantly around a neon-lit parking garage.
Agency: Walton Isaacson

Loctite
Buy: Loctite, the make of Super Glue, is spending the equivalent of nearly its usual annual ad budget to buy a Super Bowl slot at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
Creative: The ad will be the the latest installment of Loctite's less-than-a-year-old #WinAtGlue campaign.
Agency: Fallon, Minneapolis

McDonald's
Buy: McDonald's is prepping a Super Bowl spot in the 2015 game, executives familiar with the business said, after years of opting out of the game and advertising instead in the pre-game slot just before kickoff.
Creative: The effort is likely to "evolve" the "I'm lovin' it" theme but retain the tagline.
Agency: Publicis Groupe's Leo Burnett won the Super Bowl assignment, executives familiar with the matter said.

Mercedes-Benz
Buy: The marketer's buy is likely to continue its Super Bowl habit of a 60-second spot. This will be Mercedes' third time advertising in the Super Bowl, having last appeared in the game in 2013 and sitting out 2014.
Creative: TBD. Mercedes' 2013 Super Bowl commercial, "Soul," featured Willem Dafoe, Usher and Kate Upton.
Agency: Merkley & Partners

Mophie
Buy: One 30-second ad
Creative: TBD. One of many first-time advertisers in the Super Bowl, the marketer of charging accessories and cases for smartphones is aiming to significantly increase its name recognition.
Agency: Deutsch, Los Angeles

Nationwide
Buy: Undisclosed
Creative: To be determined. Nationwide hasn't advertised in the Super Bowl since 2007, long enough ago for Kevin Federline to have starred. The company became the official insurance sponsor of the NFL in August.
Agency: Undisclosed. Chiel Worldwide's McKinney is Nationwide's lead creative agency. Ogilvy & Mather handled this year's new campaign with Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning.

Nissan
Buy: One 60-second spot in an undisclosed quarter. Nissan is coming back to the Super Bowl for the first time since 1997, the company said on Dec. 2, as part of its recent strategy to emphasize "fewer yet bigger moments."
Creative: Not disclosed.
Agency: TBWA/Chiat/Day, Los Angeles.

Pepsi (PepsiCola) [HALFTIME AD]
Buy: One 30-second commercial leading into the halftime show, which Pepsi is again sponsoring
Creative: TBD. Katy Perry is performing during the halftime show. For the 2014 game, Pepsi also ran a 30-second ad during halftime as a lead-in to its halftime show. Pepsi does not plan to release its commercial before it airs.
Agency: Mekanism will again handle the halftime show lead-in.

Skittles (Mars Inc.)
Buy: One 30-second ad in the first half
Creative: Skittles will appear in a commercial during the Super Bowl this February for the first time, according to people familiar with the matter, but it isn't clear what form the ad will take. Skittles was a big winner in last season's Super Bowl even without an ad because Seattle Seahawks star Marshawn Lynch is a notorious fan, but there are no signs yet that he would star in the anticipated Super Bowl ad. Skittles began promoting its commercial in early January with a video showing former NFL great Kurt Warner already tailgating outside the stadium where the Super Bowl will be played.
Agency: DDB Chicago

Snickers (Mars Inc.)
Buy: One 30-second ad, Snickers' first since 2011. Snickers declined to specify the quarter in which the spot would run.
Creative: The commercial will continue Snickers' "You're Not You When You're Hungry" campaign, introduced by BBDO, New York, with an ad starring Betty White in the 2010 Super Bowl. Ms. White will not appear in the 2015 Super Bowl ad.
Agency: BBDO, New York

Squarespace
Buy: One 30-second commercial
Creative: Not disclosed. Squarespace is making its second Super Bowl appearance, following a debut in 2014. It joins another web development platform, Wix.com, which will air its first spot during the 2015 game, as well as web-hosting company and chronic Super Bowl advertiser GoDaddy.
Agency: Wieden & Kennedy, New York, in a departure from the 2014 approach, when Squarespace developed its ad internally.

Toyota
Buy: One spot seems likely. Toyota declined to detail its buy, but said it will be similar to prior years.
Creative: Toyota is back for its third consecutive Super Bowl with a commercial starring Team Toyota athlete Amy Purdy, a U.S. Paralympic Team snowboarder, and celebrating "great, bold dads" to promote the new Toyota Camry, said Jack Hollis, VP-marketing, Toyota. Toyota's 60-second 2014 Super Bowl ad featured Terry Crews and The Muppets, while the 2013 commercial starred "The Big Bang Theory" actress Kaley Cuoco.
Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, Los Angeles

TurboTax (Intuit)
Buy: One 60-second commercial during the first quarter, a return to the game after last year's debut
Creative: In a repeat of last year's decision to avoid the deluge of pre-released Super Bowl ads, the brand is keeping the creative for its return under wraps until game day.
Agency: Wieden & Kennedy

Wix.com
Buy: A 30-second spot in the fourth quarter
Creative: The web development platform's first Super Bowl commercial will highlight Wix's mission to simplify website creation, specifically for small business owners, part of a campaign featuring former NFL players such as Brett Favre, Terrell Owens and Emmitt Smith as they move on to life after football. Wix is following the lead of web development platform Squarespace, which gained household name status with its debut Super Bowl ad in 2014 and is returning in 2015. For the past two years, Wix.com has been running direct response TV ad campaigns in the U.S., Europe and Latin America.
Agency: The company said it worked directly with Frank Samuel, Jeff Reed and Lauren Bayer of Committee LA, in collaboration with San Francisco creative team Jeff Huggins and Andrea Janetos.

Soft Balls

The Super Bowl with its 100 million plus viewers is around the corner. The recent deflated football scandal from last week's conference championship game brought to light that personal brand is the ultimate selling point. Sal Paolantonio, reporter for ESPN, aka the Worldwide Leader in Sports, theorized that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, aka the best looking guy in sport and hubby of mega model Gisele Bündchen held a press conference yesterday to protect his brand. He reported that Brady was motivated to speak out of a carefully plotted plan to get back to pitching girly UGG Boots.

“Women don’t like cheaters,” said Paolantonio. “What’s the number one demographic that Tom Brady tries to sell Ugg boots to? Women. Guys are not going into the mall [and being like] ‘Let me get a pair of Uggs.’ No, guys don’t go into the mall for a pair of Uggs. Women do. This was clearly motivated because Tom Brady knows that his brand is damaged by this — not only on the football field, but what he sells off the football field.”

Moral of the story. Keep your balls firm when you're playing the branding game.

Speaking of brand, most celebrity endorsements seem rather obvious — or at least uninteresting and lacking inspiration. In the age of the second screen and on-demand information, when advertising is everywhere we look, it takes a lot more than Michael Jordan hawking his latest line of Nikes to get our attention. Advertising campaigns are at their most fun when we see something (or someone) out-of-the-box. When Wheaties recently put Madeleine Albright on the cover of their box, it prompted us to think of other unexpected brand representatives from recent (and not-so-recent) years.

Madeleine Albright
Wheaties

No, she was never an Olympic medalist or World Series winner, but former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is no less a champion — at least, according to Wheaties, who are attempting to redefine the term by awarding the diplomat the box-cover placement usually reserved for sports figures. And who are we to disagree? The former Representative to the United Nations has as many accomplishments in her field as star athletes have in theirs, making her as worthy of admiration as any Super Bowl MVP.

Joe Namath
Hanes Beautymist

Joe Namath was the ultimate counter-culture athlete at a time when America was questioning its identity. He grew his hair long, wore full-length fur coats on the sidelines, and famously backed up his guarantee of winning Super Bowl III. But he also had a charm and sense of humor that endeared him as a cultural icon, as he proved in this clever 1970s commercial for Hanes Beautymist pantyhose, which tricked many viewers into thinking they were admiring a woman’s legs. Sports have always been saturated with machismo, but only Broadway Joe was cool enough to pull off wearing women’s garments for millions to see.

Ron Burgundy
Dodge Durango

Okay, we’re cheating here, since Ron Burgundy is more of a fictional celebrity. But the real fun was how the Will Ferrell character touted the most basic features of the Dodge Durango, even going as far as appearing on Conan O’Brien's late-night show to call it “a terrible car.” Proving that there’s no such thing as bad advertising, the ads helped push a 59% sales increase for the Durango. Perhaps more importantly, the 70 clips produced for this campaign provided enough content to tide Ferrell’s fans over until the next Anchorman sequel.

Terry Quattro (Jeff Goldblum)
General Electric

Jeff Goldblum is also merely playing a so-called “famous person” here, but it’s too inventive to overlook. Directed by Tim and Eric, Goldblum’s "Terry Quattro" is only interested in how lighting can serve his vanity. Weird enough to be memorable and funny enough to be quotable, it’s also clever enough to use all these devices to effectively explain the advantages of General Electric’s new technology.

Tom Brady
UGG for Men

Tom Brady is one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history, and is also lucky enough to have the All-American good looks many advertisers covet. But what makes him an interesting spokesman is how he compares to other athletes that are much more approachable, like fellow MVP quarterback Peyton Manning. While Manning uses his affable personality and charm to endorse everyday products aimed at more mainstream consumers, Brady has been speaking for brands like UGG and Movado. These ads aren’t clever or funny or even relatable — but they establish a vision of class and luxury befitting someone who has led his team to five Super Bowls and married a supermodel.

Penelope Cruz
Nintendo

From Coca-Cola to L’Oreal, Penelope Cruz has done plenty of the kind of advertising you’d expect from a popular Oscar-winning actress — so it was a surprise to see her in ads for a product usually marketed to gamers and kids. Nintendo hired Cruz to appear in commercials for the Nintendo 3DS XL in 2012, in which she loses a bet to her sister over a game of the New Super Mario Bros. 2. Her debt? She had to dress up like the iconic plumber, complete with mustache. In doing so, Cruz delivered a performance that easily beats Bob Hoskins and Captain Lou Albano as the Best Super Mario tribute ever.