The 43 Postcards Project: Saint Petersburg

To kickoff 2020, I'm adding intriguing visuals from my trip around the world, my 43 Postcards Project from my lifetime of travels. So far, my quest has taken me to places familiar and others remote, in 43 countries and counting, from the deep Pacific to the deserts of the Middle East to the snow-crusted landscapes of the Arctic Circle. Here, I'll share a handful or two of snapshots from each country I visit, as I saw them. Enjoy the views.

_______________

Okay, so where am I?

My quest to build content for my Kontinental Hockey League book intensifies, this time in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

Maybe you don't know Saint Petersburg. Maybe you think it's a city in Florida. Maybe you don't care. I do because the once capital city of Russia rapidly became one of my favorite cities on the world. I'll devote a full column this month to the wonders it holds but in the meantime, a fast overview of its history. The city is not named for Tsar Peter the Great, aka Peter the I, but Saint Peter, one of the 12 apostles of Jesus Christ. Still, Peter the Tsar, who ruled Russia from 1682 until his death in 1725, is the city’s true father. Blessed with being nearly seven feet tall and also being very good at winning wars, Russia became a European powerhouse under his reign. After his victory against the Swedish Empire in the Great Northern War opened up the Baltic region, he founded Saint Petersburg in 1703 as a new, modern, westward-looking capital of the Russian Empire, a frontier town designed in the image of European cities, to integrate Russia into Europe. It is also the home city of President Vladimir Putin, who worked first for the Leningrad branch of the KGB and later in the mayor’s office, but Peter will always be number one here.

Before I get to the meat of this column (the visuals), I want to give a special hats off to Firebird Tours as they delivered opportunity after opportunity to get up close with Saint Petersburg and the people of Russia. Seems to me that I can no more book a trip without them as I can travel without my trusty camera to capture life, personalities, and cityscapes we seldom knew existed. Take a peek at my 16 favorites from a handful of days in the city that was the imperial capital for two centuries.

Class of 2019 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees

Okay, so where am I?

I just got back from a whirlwind tour of Finland (Kemi, Lapland, Helsinki) and Russia (Saint Petersburg, Moscow) and it's time to get caught up. As you can see from the graphic, the call for ANDY Awards entries has been announced. As you know I am an award junkie so I am moving to get my entires into place to win this elusive award. I am sure there are plenty of you who have no idea what this award is, so here's there elevator speech, "for 55 years the International ANDY awards have been known as the most sought-after awards for creative excellence in advertising." Heady stuff for sure and prestigious in my industry. I want one and my three previous attempts have bore no fruit. I'm taking it seriously because the single entry cost is $1,500!

The quest for an ANDY made me assess my work against some of my contemporaries from the past year. You know what I found? I found a whole lot of campaigns that should have never been greenlit. They missed their mark or worse. You know I don't have a Hall of Shame because I'm negative. I do it because the worse the ad, the greater the inspiration to be better; to do better. Also, some of the advertising SVPs need to call the Media Guy before they spend millions on a media buy to showcase bad work This is one of my independent new business pushes. I don't charge a lot for a two-day consultation and the return on investment for the companies that do call is immense.

In 2016, I introduced my "You Should Have Called the Media Guy" columns where I implore tone-deaf ad men and women who don't bother to focus group their advertising and I censure then why a call to me, the Media Guy, can save them some serious advertising budgets in bad publicity if they had only let me review their work first. The columns have proved to be reader favorites (you can catch up on past columns here):

Burger King
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg's
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, and McDonald's
Class of 2018 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees
The Best and the Worst of the Super Bowl LIII Commercials

I am sure you sit at home and wonder openly and loudly how ads such as these could ever wind up on television or in your online feeds. Some are so poorly thought out you have to say "how did this load of poop make it past their high-paid creatives. So despite my offer for inexpensive, yet sage consulting, there were companies and ad department that decided, "hey we got this!" and didn't call the Media Guy. The ran with their great ideas and I'm here today to bash them a little bit by inducting them into my Media Guy Hall of Shame.

Before I do though, I want to run my annual PSA for those fools making ten times more than me in their lofty corner glass offices:

"Hello Chief Marketing Officers: you can't see the forest among the trees. Call me. A small consulting check made out to me could save embarrassment and, also, potentially, your jobs. Swallow your pride and just do it!"

5. Peloton's "The Gift That Gives Back"

Peloton decided to shame a thin woman's journey to get, well, more thin and the world laughed at them. Others wagged their finger at them, especially the husband who obviously was a real winner as he made his wife check in daily with selfies and what not. In short, the campaign follows her through a yearlong selfie expedition as her dictatorish partner passive aggressively suggested that she needed more exercise.

4. Kia's 'The Niro Electrified Family"

Kia started off with a smart actor placement on the form of Robert DeNrio in this heavy power of puns spot aimed at promoting its electric e-Niro range. I'm sure that concept sounded good in the pitch session but the end product ended up like the agency chose to wing it without a script after into securing an Oscar winner. Sigh.

3. Snapchat's "Would You Rather"

You have to be kidding me that this would happen in the current #MeToo climate. In 2009, Chris Brown decided to use Rihanna as a punching bag on the way to the Grammys. SnapChat decided they should make light of domestic abuse it, asking users to reveal whether they’d prefer to slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown. Snapchat responded saying the ad was the product of a third-party oversight intended to promote the company’s latest game, “Would You Rather.” I mean, really? No wonder SnapChat has fallen off the Earth.

2. Miele's "International Women’s Day"

How do you celebrate modern women on International Women’s Day? By reinforcing the 1950s housewife stereotype. The appliances manufacturer probably thought it was cute to share an image of four white women excited over a washer and dryer, but completely missed the mark. Miele deleted the Facebook post a few hours later. Seriously Miele, you shouldn't rely on old-fashioned stereotypes for your marketing. Know your target audience. Understand what drives them and use this information to inform your social media for business campaigns. It's basic Marketing 101. One call to me and I would have told you that instead of you showing around the creative department and being pandered with a bunch of "great job", "looks incredible", and "you killed this!" comments I am sure you heard prior to giving the thumbs up to roll this out.

1. Oreo's “First Christmas”

So it’s Christmas Eve and even though every kid's parents leave milk and cookies by the fireplace, Santa is a glutton and needs more. [You know, I covered mean Santa before. He's not so easy to work for...] At this point, he pulls over to a gas station and sends his first-day-on-the-job elf intern inside for some Oreos. (Yeah, yeah, bad day to start, but go with it, will ya?) Newbie elf grabs a Big Gulp of orange soda and several packages of Oreos (it's clear he has no idea what glutton Santa is all about). Thankfully, dude at the cash wrap knows the deal and turns on the elf to his milk vault behind the counter which gains him a golden ticket to the Infamous Santa Xmas Rager. Cute idea, no? Exactly, NO! This entire spot smells of creepiness. Dimly lit with newbie elf is wearing way too much makeup. The guy behind the counter with the milk stash twists off the top of the Oreo and demonstrates the proper method to lick off the creme. Good gawd, too much information! All we need is the FBI to show up on December 26th in the epilogue to figure out what became of newbie elf who disappeared for an Oreo pit stop.

The 43 Postcards Project: Moscow

To kickoff 2020, I'm adding intriguing visuals from my trip around the world, my 43 Postcards Project from my lifetime of travels. So far, my quest has taken me to places familiar and others remote, in 43 countries and counting, from the deep Pacific to the deserts of the Middle East to the snow-crusted landscapes of the Arctic Circle. Here, I'll share a handful or two of snapshots from each country I visit, as I saw them. Enjoy the views.

_______________

Okay, so where am I?

It's the start of the year and with my Kontinental Hockey League book deal in place I set onto to Moscow to interview as many ex-players, executives, and broadcasters as possible. I only had a few days before my itinerary called for an overnight train trip to Saint Petersburg, so time was of the essence.

Moscow wasn't the capital of Russia. When it was first mentioned in historical records in approximately 1140, it was simply a small town of little importance. Muscovites today consider Prince Yury Dolgoruky their city’s founding father, but it was only recorded that he dined with friends in the town of “Moskov,” named after the local Moscow River. It remains unclear exactly when this town was established, but at the time of Dolgoruky it was governed by a noble called Kuchka, who fell out with the prince over taxes and was sentenced to death.

A small fortress was built on Borovitsky Hill by Dolgoruky’s son, Prince Andrei Bogolyubsky; it was the first in a long succession of structures that eventually became the Moscow Kremlin. Moscow remained a small town while the nearby city of Vladimir rose in prominence and overtook Kiev, the old capital, in importance. Moscow’s luck would change only later.

I grew up during the Cold War: a time of border standoffs, spy-versus-spy intrigues and the bristling tensions of the Berlin Wall. Today Moscow's glittering malls and stylish cafes might seem light years away from the gray concrete and paranoia of that era -- a period that stretched from the end of World War II in 1945 to the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 -- but its remnants are everywhere. From bunker complexes to rusting MiG fighter jets to the vestiges of long-defunct secret weapons programs, Moscow is a living museum of the epoch that shaped the 20th century.

During this trip I stayed close to Red Square in the plush Ararat Park Hyatt conducting my interviews from their luxurious 10th floor lounge with the best panoramic views in Moscow. Taking a quick trip with me around town in these 20 visuals captured in my few free minutes in the city.

The 43 Postcards Project: Finland

To kickoff 2020, I'm adding intriguing visuals from my trip around the world, my 43 Postcards Project from my lifetime of travels. So far, my quest has taken me to places familiar and others remote, in 43 countries and counting, from the deep Pacific to the deserts of the Middle East to the snow-crusted landscapes of the Arctic Circle. Here, I'll share a handful or two of snapshots from each country I visit, as I saw them. Enjoy the views.

_______________

Okay, so where am I?

I'm in Finland. Part vacation, part business trip. I am here to see the sights and to work on my Kontinental Hockey League book. Interviewing former players, executives, and broadcasters is much easier when you have the beauty of Scandinavia as a backdrop.

I breezed through this country in record time it seems and, well, Finland. It’s been a blast. Who knew this little Nordic country of 5.2 million could deliver so many micro-memories through the characters and souls I met in seven short days (and by short, I mean really short with less than five hours of sunlight each winter day). Take a reflective journey with me through a curated gallery of 11 captures that rest in my lens (and now in this blog).

GREENLIT! A New Media Guy Book

Okay, so where am I?

I am doing a little happy dance because I've been GREENLIT!

Yes indeed, my little pitch about writing a book on the wacky, wild, and sometimes great Kontinental Hockey League has been accepted for a 2021 publish date by Penguin Random House Canada.

I mean, who would have thought that a 2018 side trip to CKSA Ice Arena in Moscow and a chance meeting with Igor would have produced a 2021-word article in my regular Jewels From The Crown (an LA Kings blog) spot and led to one of its most read columns in recent years. That success gave me the courage to pitch my book and low and behold, my author's acceptance arrived nearly a year later.

Now the hard work begins, finishing the actual book. Mark Twain famously said, "Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words." A comic he was...

The difficult part of writing a book isn’t getting published, it’s the actual writing and the self analysis that comes with it. As an author of multiple books, I can tell you without hesitation that the hardest part of a writer’s job is hunkering down to do the work. Books don’t just write themselves, you know. Sweat equity is the key. You must invest your entire being into creating your important piece of work.

For years, I dreamed of being a writer. Mostly for television and then for newspapers. I knew in my soul I had vital things to say that the world wanted to hear. But as I look back on what it actually takes to become an author, I realize that the process doesn't always mesh with expectations.

To start with, you don’t just sit down to write a book like Paul Sheldon does in a cabin in Misery. That’s not how writing works. It begins with writing a sentence, then a paragraph, then maybe if you’re in a groove, an entire chapter. Writing happens in fits and starts, in bits and pieces. It’s a process. It's the art of sculpting fog.

The way you get the work done is not complicated. You take one step at a time, then another and another. As I look back on the books I’ve written, I can see how the way they were made was not as glamorous as I once thought.

I did discover that writing in the same place every time spurred great words, incredible sentences, and better paragraphs. It doesn’t matter if it’s your patio or a a sauna or the backseat of your car, it really just needs to be a different space from where you do your other activities. Make your writing spot a special space, so that when you enter it, you’re ready to find that inner inspiration. It should reaffirm you of your commitment to finish.

Another important thing to keep in mind is the total word count. You should already see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here is a quick guide to what word ranges mean in terms of what you will get at the end of your writing:

• 10,000 words = a pamphlet or business white paper. Read time = 30-60 minutes.
• 20,000 words = short eBook or manifesto. The Communist Manifesto is an example of this, at about 18,000 words. Read time = 1-2 hours.
• 40,000-60,000 words = standard nonfiction book / novella. The Great Gatsby is an example of this. Read time = three to four hours.
• 60,000-80,000 words = long nonfiction book / standard-length novel. Most Malcolm Gladwell books fit in this range. Read time = four to six hours.
• 80,000-100,000 words = very long nonfiction book / long novel. The Four-Hour Work Week falls in this range.
• 100,000+ words = epic-length novel / academic book / biography. Read time = six to eight hours. The Steve Jobs biography would fit this category.

In the end, the hardest part is really getting the book deal but the real work is turning a 2000-word column into a 100,000 word novel. Wish me luck