Getting out of tricky situations isn't easy. But along the way, I get to hang out with princesses (they never wear their crowns), camel jockeys (literally!) and famous (well at least quasi-famous) people...all for the love of media and travel.
I'm at The Beverly Hilton on the red carpet soaking in the madness on the red carpet of the 75th Golden Globes Awards. Honestly, I don't know how and why I continue to be asked to cover this event. But, I am so thankful, because the organized chaos of an awards show held at a hotel (instead of a traditional theatre venue) is something you should experience at least once. What's it like? Take a look...
Most of you already know that the red carpet was painted black in a fashion sea of protests and Oprah practically announced her presidential candidacy with her powerful speech and Time's Up was the theme of the politically charged night. But, as you know, all of the real fun happens off camera, including Tom Hanks making sure the martinis were served on point and over $20 million of jewelry and watches were worn last night.
Hanks, the four-time Golden Globe winner, impressively played waiter for his crew, delivering a tray of martinis while winding his way through the crowd.
As always there is a no-photo rule in the International Ballroom, but the Rock arrived and everyone wanted to smell what he was cooking. Dwayne Johnson, whose sixteen-year-old daughter Simone Garcia Johnson was this year’s Golden Globes Ambassador, had a posse of followers eager to breaks the photo rule. Looking extra handsome with his salt-and-pepper goatee and super white teeth obliged all.
The Rock with his daughter, Simone Garcia Johnson, and Thor (Chris Hemsworth)
If you saw the sea of black on the red carpet you know that most of the actresses in attendance signed on to the Time’s Up initiative. Their unity hit the forefront away from the cameras after Natalie Portman announced “the all-male nominees” for best director. Kerry Washington pumped her arms and gave a high-five to Eva Longoria who was sitting right next to her. Speaking of which...
Kerry Washington vamps at the after parties while Debra Messing and Eva Longoria look on.
Yes, it was a tough night to be a guy at the 75th Golden Globes. Women were abundantly vocal about harassment and their fight for gender parity*, however men were mostly quiet. Host Seth Meyers was a noteworthy exception, acknowledging that a white man may not have been the perfect host for the movement but filling his monologue with enough self-deprecation and righteous barbs to ease any concerns – or maybe he had some smart writers. Otherwise, mum was the word for men about the subject, with their biggest statements made in the form of fashionable lapel pins.
"I want to give room to the women that don't normally have voices to talk about their sexual assault and rape and I'm listening. They need to know that it's not their fault and they're not dirty and that's my message tonight." --Viola Davis
The Feud Continues? When Jennifer Aniston appeared onstage, all eyes were on the Friends icon. Well, all except two, it seems. Seated at a table near the stage, Angelina Jolie appeared to look down and ignore Aniston as she presented an award. Super Awkward.
Before I get to that, allow me to go back to my Café Squatters story for just a minute and talk about
this woman on the left. The New York style work area table at Starbucks meant to house 8-10 people was relatively full as I try feverishly to finish this column after retouching hundreds of photos for my Golden Globes assignment. There was an empty spot, so I asked her if that seat was taken. Her reply was that she was using the seat and spot...for a foot rest. It takes all kinds these days.
So know you know that I am (or was) at the Beverly Hilton on the red carpet basking in the wacky opulence known as the Golden Globes. Most of you already know that La La Land won Best Motion Picture and Brad Pitt made a surprise n stage appearance on stage to the delight of the crowd. But, as you know, all of the real fun happens off camera, including Justin Timberlake making sure the drinks were flowing and Kurt Russell and Jeff Bridges exchanging phone numbers.
On the carpet, Justin Timberlake holds wife Jessica Biel’s hand while she chats with with Amy Adams’ husband, Darren Le Gallo. Designer Tom Ford hugs Timberlake who tells him: "The only reason I ever look nice is I learned to dress from you." Meanwhile Timberland tries to make an exit inside. "Find us!" Biel tells Le Gallo as they depart
The Golden Ticket.
Laurence Fishburne tries to get past security and then notices he doesn’t have his ticket. He calls someone on his phone, in a mock (?) panic "I have no idea where my ticket is or is supposed to be."
Kerry Washington introduces her husband, Nnamdi Asomugha, to Stranger Things' Millie Bobby Brown. "I told you about him at the party," Washington tells Brown. "He's such a big fan of yours!"
One half of Hollywood's most beautiful couple, Blake Lively, cheers for the other half, Ryan Reynolds as he stands from the table to present the night's first award. He accidentally knocks into her updo, but it doesn't moved. She's a goddess, that's why.
Justin Timberlake pours a glass of vino for everyone at his table then offers the bottle to Felicity Jones. Meanwhile, as his wife and best actress nominee Annette Bening stands from the table, Warren Beatty kisses her cheek and says, “You look beautiful!” Seeing Denzel Washington’s wife and her pal, Pauletta, Bening goes over and gives her a hug and kiss.
Kerry Washington with a young fan.
In the press room, Billy Bob Thornton gestures toward the microphone manager and quips, "That's quite a pole you got there!" That's something coming from the polemaster. Thornton is super humble, looking cool and mellow wearing his shades inside. After taking home one of the fist-sized trophies, he thanked the Hollywood Foreign Press for choosing him over Better Call Saul's Bob Odenkirk.
The feeling never gets old! After nabbing the award for her role in The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, Sarah Paulson steps off stage and admits, “I’m shaking!” She takes a photo but is distracted when she hears more cheering. “Did the show just win?” she asks. Indeed, the hit earns a Best Limited Series and Paulson heads right back on stage.
Yours truly.
Oooooops? While posing for a picture off stage with Amy Schumer and Ryan Gosling, Goldie Hawn jokingly falls onto the hunky La La Land actor, "She fell into his nook and giggled!"
Back in the press room, Viola Davis says the night will wrap too late for her to squeeze in jacuzzi time. She report that she'll celebrate her Fences best supporting actress win with hubby and a glass of Prosecco at home.
In the press room, Nocturnal Animals best supporting actor winner Aaron Taylor-Johnson is cut off as the audio feed switches over to Ryan Gosling’s acceptance speech. Taylor-Johnson stood there awkwardly holding his award then left, but no hard feelings: "Gosling amazing!” he says.
Someone accidentally steps on Anna Kendrick’s Vionnet dress, which prompts the actress to question her decision: “Why do I wear a dress with a train? Every year I ask myself this.” After she loses, Rachel Wood heads straight for the bar outside the ballroom. Bottoms up!
HBO Invite :)
There were some good zingers last night. Here's some of the highlights:
"The film Florence Foster Jenkins is nominated. The character has been dubbed the world’s worst opera singer and even she turned down performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration."
-Jimmy Fallon in his opening monologue
"Thank you, first of all, to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for this amazing honour. I suppose it’s made more amazing by the fact that I’ll be able to say that I won this at the last ever Golden Globes. I don’t mean to be gloomy. It’s just that it has the words ‘Hollywood,’ ‘foreign,’ and ‘press’ in the title."
-Hugh Laurie wins best supporting actor in a TV drama
"You make me proud to be an artist. You make me feel that what I have in me – my body, my face, my age – is enough."
Viola Davis introduces Meryl Streep
"Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners, and if you kick us all out, you’ll have nothing to watch except for football and mixed martial arts, which are not arts."
-Meryl Streep picks up the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award
"This is for all the women, women of color, and colorful people, whose stories, ideas and thoughts are not always considered worthy and valid and important. But I want you to know that I see you. We see you."
-Tracee Ellis Ross wins best comedy actress
"It’s not a problem. A dead bird never leaves its nest."
-John Lithgow channels Winston Churchill when he realizes his zipper is undone
"While I was singing and dancing and playing piano and having one of the best experiences I ever had on a film, my lady was raising our daughter, pregnant with our second, and trying to help her brother fight his battle with cancer. If she hadn’t taken all that on so that I could have this experience, there would surely be someone else up here other than me today. So sweetheart, thank you."
-Ryan Gosling thanks Eva Mendes in his best actor speech
"Take your broken heart, make it into art."
-Meryl Streep quotes late friend Carrie Fisher
"I’ve been to the Globes six times, and I’ve worn a dress every time. And I love dresses. I’m not trying to protest dresses. But I wanted to make sure that young girls and women know that they aren’t a requirement. And you don’t have to wear one if you don’t want to. And to just be yourself because your worth is more than that. So, I said, this year I’m going homage to Marlene Dietrich and Victor/Victoria and David Bowie, because it’s his birthday."
-Evan Rachel Wood on the red carpet.
The Red Carpet Gallery
Justin Timberland and Jessica Biel - the drinking couple.
Radiant in yellow: Emily Ratajkowski
Gosling: A good year to be a Ryan in Hollywood.
Ryan (Reynolds) and Blake Lively: The most beautiful couple in Hollywood.
She's a goddess.
There was a lot of free Fiji water. Kristen Bell is no dummy.
Monica Bellucci is 52 which makes me look 70!
Sofia Vergara - always the best part of the red carpet.
Mel Gibson hits the red carpet with pregnant girlfriend Rosalind Ross.
Lovely Drew Barrymore
Why oh why do you wear the dress train every year, Anna?
Who doesn't have a crush on Amy Adams?
Adams with Arrival co-star Jeremy Renner.
Benning and Beatty - still looking good.
Only they could make us roots for the Russians (serious watch the Amerikans!).
Jonah Hill lives THE LIFE! Hanging with Ryan G. and nominated for Oscars. #Dreams
Sansa is all grown up now!
Travolta and Paulsen: It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Priyanka Chopra and Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Dirty Jokes Backstage.
If you read Friday's column you know I am home in Los Angeles. But, honestly, Europe still has a hold of me. I'm still stuck (mentally) at the New Year's Eve Silvester Gala at Hofburg Palace (you know, the former imperial palace in the centre of Vienna that emperors used for their accommodations).
But it's awards season and the opportunity to walk the red carpet and snap off images for Fox and a few others is much too alluring. The Oscars are February 28th and I have already been eyeballing the pilates VHS tape so I look good in a tux this year. A simple plea though, pray for me! Why? Because the trolls that make it to the red carpet with the arms extended like some fleshy selfie stick are nothing short of disgusting, two-faced demon looking to fill up their Instagram and Twitter accounts. I'm fully stocked with Purell Hand Sanitizer to exorcise any airborne viruses these trolls spread around.
Jane Fonda’s “Not Amused” Face
The real winners of the Golden Globes were Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, because they got hit with a bolt of “not impressed” shooting out of Jane Fonda’s eyes. I’d pay big bucks to get Jane Fonda to shank me with her eyes while looking like her head is breaking out of a prison of bedazzled coffee filters. She's been practicing that look since she threw those MIAs under the bus in the Vietnam War and never looked back. For shame, Jane.
In a bit that was sponsored by their weed shop of choice, Jonah Hill pretended to be the bear from The Revenant while he and Channing Tatum presented the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. Jane Fonda was one of the nominees and as her man Richard Perry’s face went full WTF, she silently judged those buffoons!
Don’t let the dress fool you. Just because she’s covered in clown collars doesn’t mean that she’s here for Jonah and Channing’s Barnum and Bailey antics. Jane Fonda did not put on that mockery of a dress just so the stars of 22 Jump Street could make a complete sham out of her category! This is serious business. Great work guys!
Seriously! Lady Gaga Wins?
I didn’t know that Lady Gaga was married to a billionaire Israeli businessman?! And may a lightning bolt from heaven strike me down for comparing Lady Gaga to the talented angel that is Pia Zadora.
The Golden Globe winners were all over the place, so of course they continued with that theme by giving her an award for the accent acrobats and music video acting she did in American Horror Story: Hotel. While looking like she was doing third-rate Breathless Mahoney cosplay, Lady Gaga actually beat Felicity Huffman and Kirsten Dunst in the category of Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries. And just like that, the Golden Globes won the award for Best Comedy Show of the Year!
Before Lady Gaga’s acceptance speech where she laid it on so thick that I’m still wiping the thickness out of my eyes and ears (that sounds sexy but it’s not), she made her way to the stage and bumped into Leonardo Dicaprio who let out a scared giggle:
Katy's Golden Globes
I hear Katy Perry say, "I got my wig out and my globes!"
According to pretty much EVERYONE (but specifically Vanity Fair, UsWeekly, E!, and People), Katy Perry – the Golden Globes presenter that made the majority of viewers turn to the person sitting beside them and whisper “Wait, why is she here?“, and Orlando Bloom – the Golden Globes presenter who I initially thought was a cleaned-up Charlie Sheen, might be a thing that is happening.
A whole bunch of blabbermouths who attended Harvey Weinstein’s afterparty squealed on Katy and Orlando by claiming they spent a good chunk of the night together doing the following: whispering, flirting, being flirty, leaning in close, getting super cozy, “sharing a vape pen“, and dancing together. One source added that Orlando would “touch the small of her back” when talking to her. The small of her back? Calm down, you two! It’s Harvey Weinstein’s Golden Globes afterparty, not the orgy scene from Caligula.
Obviously, Katy and Orlando’s G-rated middle school dance antics could be nothing more than two drunk n’ horny famous types who accidentally brushed up against each other on the way to the bar and were like “Oooh, let’s do that again, but on purpose.” Or maybe hooking up with some random dick like Orlando was Katy checking off Step 4 in her 12-Step recovery program.
That’s probably it.
RICKY and HIS JOKES
From the Hollywood Reporter... "Days after hosting the Golden Globes and still defending some of the racy jokes he did there, comedian Ricky Gervias was cracking on the Oscars.
The 2016 Academy Awards nominations were released Thursday morning and not a single nonwhite actor was given the nod in an acting category. This is the second year in a row with that result. Some, such a Al Sharpton, shared their anger over the snub. Gervais shared humor."
Here are some of the intrepid hosts best shots on the live telecast:
On the audience and Sean Penn: “Shut up you disgusting, pill-popping sexual deviant scum. I want to do this monologue and go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will stop me. Snitch!”
On Caitlyn Jenner: “What a year she's had. She's become a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery and destroying stereotypes. She didn't do a lot for women drivers. You can't have everything, can you, not at the same time.”
On gender pay gap disparity: “Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood. She received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, 'How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?!’”
“Of course woman should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. And I'd like to say now, I'm being paid exactly the same as [what Tina Fey and Amy Poehler] did last year. No I know there were two of them, but it's not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That's their stupid fault. It's funny because it's true.”
“All-female remakes are the big thing. There's a female remake of Ghostbusters. There's going to be a female remake of Oceans 11. And this is brilliant for the studios because they get guaranteed box office results and they don't have to spend too much money on the cast.”
On Spotlight: “The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. Yeah. The Catholic Church are furious about the film as it exposes that 5 percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it 'the best date movie ever.'''
On his three personal Golden Globes: “I won three Golden Globes myself … one I keep by the bed to — it doesn't matter why, it's mine. I won it fair and square. It's just the right shape and size, it's nothing… yeah. To be clear: That was a joke about me shoving Golden Globes that I've won up my a**.”
Introducing Matt Damon: “It's the star of the hilarious comedy The Martian. He is also the only person that Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to.”
Introducing Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer: “Joy and Trainwreck. No not the name of Charlie Sheen's two favorite hookers, the films of our next two presenters. They are best friends by the way and if you forget they said they'd tweet you. It's like they've never had a friend before, please welcome Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence.”
Introducing Eva Longoria and America Ferrera: “Eva Longoria and America Ferrera aren't just beautiful, talented actresses they're also two people who your future president, Donald Trump, can't wait to deport.”
Introducing Kevin Hart and Ken Jeong: "When Brad and Angelina see these next to adorable little presenters, they're going to want to adopt them. Please welcome Kevin Hart and Ken Jeong.'
Introducing Mel Gibson: “I'd rather have a drink with him in his hotel room tonight than with Bill Cosby.”
Introducing Eddie Redmayne: “Our next presenter is an actress who is both beautiful and talented. Born in England she came to American and has taken Hollywood by storm. Please welcome the nominated star of The Danish Girl, it's a dude, Eddie Redmayne.”
At the end of the gala: "Thank you, I'm afraid that's it. We're out of time. From myself and Mel Gibson, shalom.”
Sniffer dogs were seen checking out the red carpet before the stars arrived.
Host Ricky Gervais arrived early.
Kirsten Dunst (with some guy) hanging out on the red carpet. They are a lovely pair.
Wiz Khalifa thought he was on the walk of shame and not the red carpet it seemed.
Jurassic World star Dallas Bryce Howard wowed on the red carpet
Olivia Wilde was loving life!
Take flight with Taraji P. Henson.
Newly engaged Eva Longoria looking right at ya!...
...and she commanded the red carpet.
Love the wig...where are your sharks?!
Katy realizing she had to go in without me! Gotta love the Golden Globes ... Ricky, get me a drink, please.
Ah, the future ex-wife ... hello Jen!
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Stallone with the win! Absolutely!
Eva Green..even more captivating in black and white.
Congrats to Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Sylvester Stallone, Brie Larson, Taraji P. Henson, Fon Draper, Alejandro González Iñárritu, and the Hungarian filmmakers behind "Son of Saul." Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for letting me be a part of it (as small as it may be...) and thanks to D-Listed for sharing some insights.
Final picture from the red carpet at the 2016 Golden Globe Awards:
