Where to Find Your Inspiration

Okay, so where am I?

I’m at the keyboard trying to put a dent in my sixth or seventh book. This could be either one since I have the “memoir’ book and the photography book in motion simultaneously. When I say “in motion” I really mean moving at a snail’s pace. Heck turtles move faster on a hot summer’s day. Yet I digress…

The memoir book, aptly called “Behind the Mike: Mostly True Stories from the Media Guy”, has been a 10-year journey to tell my weird stories from the agency days where Mad Men were taken down a notch in the days before the short-lived #MeToo movement. I was inspired by the great Mary Lawrence and her book “A Big Life In Advertising”. I started writing it on the 24-hour hours of flights on my way to Malaysia in 2012 and now it has ballooned into 1,000 page of literary anarchy. Time to trim the fat off these pages for sure.

Typewriter inspiration for the Great American Novel can spring from many diverse birthplaces. It can spark from a pithy sentence spoken by a close friend, suddenly spurring on an analogy, and then question followed by a thought and then all of the sudden a book idea is birthed. It can come in the form of an overheard conversation in the peaceful spot of your local coffee cafe—remember when we could write our novels and screenplays at Starbucks?—a unique situation that supplies the creative for your protagonist. It can come from a walk in the supermarket, an afternoon at the movies, a night on the town, or even a particularly curious seatmate on plane. (Remember what it was like to sit next to someone interesting on a plane an actually understand what they are saying with a mask muffling all of the nuanced conversation into the vapor?)  

Whitby Abbey / "Dracula"

Typewriter inspiration can also come from a precise location around the world, serving as the seed where a novel can grow. Many of the classics we hold near and dear have roots in specific locales and even bridges and buildings.  Here’s a few...

Whitby Abbey
“Dracula’

Whitby Abbey, located in Yorkshire, England (no, not the infamous Transylvania and trust me, not worth the long drive from Bucharest to see Dracula’s Castle) is the locale that provided the muse for the classic novel “Dracula”. Bram Stoker was visiting Yorkshire in 1890 when he stumbled upon the decaying ruins of the 7th Century Christian Monastery and he found the Gothic architecture so haunting that it became the genesis for this classic tale. The structure still stands today and as the fog sets into the town looming below and the waves of the North Sea crash against the shore… well, one can see why he chose it.

Top Withens
“Wuthering Heights”

This decaying farmhouse in West Yorkshire, England is said to have provided some inspiration for the novel Wuthering Heights. Although physically the farmhouse doesn’t bear much resemblance to the family home in Emily Bronte’s novel, there is a plaque affixed to the ruins indicating that the farmhouse bears an association with the book. This countryside is said to have worked its magic on many  writers including Bram Stoker.

McDougal's Cave / "Tom Sawyer"

McDougal's Cave
“The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”

In 1876, “The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer” was published and put author Mark Twain in the literary map of the world. It was a novel that was so ahead of its time in that it was filled with meaning and symbolism, aside from being engaging and fun to read. It was a story about the titular mischievous young boy, who wittingly tricked his way to get everything he wanted.

In Twain’s hometown of Hannibal, Missouri sits a small cave that soon became McDougal’s Cave. Today the former McDowell Cave was renames to honor the great work of the renowned author.

Sands Point, NY
“The Great Gatsby”

“I want to write something new, something extraordinary and beautiful and simple and intricately patterned.” 

- F. Scott Fitzgerald in a letter in 1922, as he began to write the novel which became “The Great Gatsby”

Sands Point, NY, a small village along the north shore of Long Island, provided the inspiration for Easter Egg in “The Great Gatsby” in the form of a French Normandy-style mansion, which was once owned by Fitzgerald’s friend Mary Harriman Rumsey.

 “Fitzgerald’s Latest A Dud” was The New York Times’ headline for the review of Gatsby in 1925. At the end of Fitzgerald’s life, at the age of just 44, his publisher still had many copies of the first edition gathering dust in a warehouse. “My God, I am a forgotten man,” Fitzgerald wrote to Zelda when The Great Gatsby ceased to be published by The Modern Library. It seemed everyone had neglected his work. 

"The Great Gadsby" Mansion

It was only when a massive initiative began during World War II to distribute over 110 million books to soldiers abroad that public opinion changed regarding the novel. The Great Gatsby was one of the novels chosen, printed in editions designed to fit in a soldier’s back pocket. Finally, in the hands of American soldiers, the work began to achieve the popularity it has enjoyed ever since. From humble beginnings to gigantic success, this Great American Novel tells a typically American story, one of success and tragedy, a story that echoes too well Fitzgerald's own life.

Bath, England
“Persuasion”

Bath, England

Jane Austen resided in Bath, England from 1801 to 1806 and this town became the setting for her novel "Persuasion". Not only was the town the center of fashion and nobility in the early 19th century, but it also became the location where her characters socialized, attended balls, and attempted to arrange marriages. Many of Bath’s addresses are included in the novel and Bath itself still pays homage Austen with events like the Jane Austen Ball and the Jane Austen Festival.

Stanley Hotel
“The Shining”

Stephen King’s stimulus for his haunting novel “The Shining” came in the form of a precarious hotel in Colorado's Estes Park. King’s stimulus for his haunting novel “The Shining” came in the form of a precarious hotel in set below steep mountains. King and his wife Tabitha checked into The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado, on October 30th, 1974. Having recently written Carrie and Salem’s Lot, two novels set in the writer’s home state of Maine, King needed a change of scenery to get his inspiration going. In another somewhat obscure fun fact, the hotel’s on-site pet cemetery served as inspiration for another successful King novel, "Pet Semetary".

The ghostly hotel fueled King’s idea process and the pressure to perform had him on edge to create a masterpiece. He was under a self-imposed deadline due to the fact that he had to pay for his room each additional night in which he did not find the right idea. The fact is, that this combination of stress and inspirational atmosphere was the perfect concoction in order for him to create one of the most notable novels in history.”

(c) The Stanley Hotel

Eating Alone Can Be Your Virtuoso Moment

Okay, so where am I?

I’m at a local eatery working, of course, on finding the next big idea. The last few years have been fruitful on my pursuit of these grand plans for advertising and marketing grandeur. It never stops. But the quest for being great should never stop. Employers and businesses want that. They demand it actually and I am one to oblige them at every time.

My work should be a performance of sorts; at least in the advertising world. My ego tells me that I’m on the payroll is because the people paying my bills want to see me perform for the same reason you went to see Baryshnikov dance, Christian Bale act or the sun set over the white sands of Hawaii. It’s art in the form of advertising. It’s not work, it’s a recital. I can’t be just an ad man. I must be a virtuoso. Itzhak Perlman with a violin. Michelangeli at the piano. Gretzky with the puck.

I don’t play the ad game where everyone else does. I play it behind the scenes. I don’t bluster in meetings trying to charm people to go forward with my ideas. I work in the sanctity of my office, or offsite, sifting through muse and the magic of data. I come in for a landing every now and then, usually with a creative brief fresh from the design team. Sometimes I get the feeling my colleagues don’t know where I have gone until I plop the brief down in an email and shout “right over here.”

Yet I digress…

So why am I not in the office collaborating all “think tank-like” in a brainstorming session, you ask? Eating alone has become a crucial aspect of modern living. The commuter, the businessperson, the student—everyone is doing it these days and according to the Great Britain’s Wellbeing Index nearly a third of adults in major metropolitan cities are eating alone “most or all of the time.” I remember in high school doing things solo was a red flag that you were an irreversible loner, or worse, a Unibomber type. Things are different now, as we’ve become less embarrassed about solo dining habits. Bookings websites report that reservations for one have soared, home delivery of meals is a cottage industry, while communal and cafeteria tables are increasingly popular in restaurants everywhere.

Unaccompanied dietary habits are steering us into unexplored terrain. Group dining has long been a universal human ceremony. Not only is it sensible (more hands make lighter work) but meals have, customarily been used to meet our essential need to connect with others. The multi-generational family meals that were often lore of television ads are going the way of dial-up modems. Take a look at Peggy's pitch about "connecting" for their advertising pitch.

The concept of communal dining existed from the 1960s until present day, but despite the fact that the default number that cookbook recipes serve is still four or six, changes are afoot. Most of us are time-poor and overworked (at least in our own mind). Eating alone, at least for me, has turned into a brilliant space to image campaigns. As I wrote earlier in the year, (and not just Taco Bell) best Big Ideas can be found in the smooth future heartburn of a Taco Bell quesadilla with fire sauce food. 

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The trend for eating alone has contributed to the popularity of hummus and guacamole dips for less polished lone cooks who aren’t seasoned enough to whip up 15-minute meals out of those new bestsellers or get expensive Postmates or DoorDash. The boom in dips can be ascribed to people eating on their own because they are so simple to consume if you’re concurrently in a hurry and eating alone. It’s a combination of getting into a habit of thinking it’s not worth cooking for yourself mixed with comfort.

The splendor of independent dining is that you are free to savor your guilty pleasure without judgment from others. Mealtimes now are an ideal way to have quality time to yourself. It becomes a blurred border between work and pleasure and that makes work seem less like, “work.”

Another thing that may entice you to dine alone is your waistline. Eating with other actually makes you eat more and the bigger your group, the more you eat. Take a  dinner for two—you’ll eat approximately one-third more than you would alone. A party of four? Plan to increase your consumption as much as 75%, because that’s what happens on average.

Trust me and the forty plus pounds I’ve left behind this year while eating alone. Try it and you make just discover the Big Ideas you’ve left on the communal dining table.

3H Grade Pencils and George Carlin lead to the Big Idea

Click to enlarge

Okay, so where am I?

I needed some 3H grade pencils since I am sketching out a new look for my man cave and wanted an accurate drawing of case I need to be built. Standard No. 2 pencils won't cut the mustard. Why you ask? Well, H leads are tremendously smudge-proof and supply the cleanest lines, making the pencil of choice for tasks such as technical drawings, light sketching, and outlines. If you’re a lefty (I’m not, but sensitive to the plight of the southpaw), taking advantage of smudge-resistant H leads is a must. Yet, I digress…

Anyway, you used to have to drag yourself to one of the only high-end art supply stores in your city to find these suckers, but not you can fire up Amazon and finish your purchased and have them delivered in a few hours. Amazon is pretty great in that respect. After taking exactly 189 seconds to research, get a proper brand recommendation, select, and purchase my pencils, I surfed around the site and and I stumbled across this first edition classic, "The Agon in Euripides," penned by yours truly. It's brand new and the last one in stock at $73.00. There's also 13 more options starting at $73.37 and some more in the used book bin available from $60.00. I mean why wouldn't you want to purchased this study of the agon, i.e., formal debate, in Euripides' tragedies? Just look at these reviews:

"Lloyd does an excellent job of describing the structure, style and strategies of Euripides' agones, and everyone interested in these rhetorical exchanges will read this book with profit." —Classical Bulletin

"This is a meticulous and scholarly book. It is clear that the author has thought very hard about every sentence, and the result is a careful and highly reasoned discussion of the texts....The analyses of individual speeches are illuminating, and the book is clearly and elegantly written. There is a useful index. Overall, the book is certainly a success, and will undoubtedly be of help to many concerned either with Euripides or with Greek rhetoric." —The Classical Review

Yeah, not for everyone, but for those of you desiring a general account of the formal debate in Euripides, including a contrast with the agon in Sophocles, and contains an extended discussion of Euripides' relationship to fifth-century rhetorical theory and practice, then this is your Holy Grail of agones interpretations.

Speaking of Holy Grails of things, the Emmy nominations came out this week and five ads were nominated for 2019’s Outstanding Commercial Emmy. Apple scored two noms with Nike's "Dream Crazy," "A Great Day in Hollywood from Netflix, and long-form PSA Sandy Hook Promise’s “Point of View,” made the list. See them all in the Adweek story. At the end of the day, we're always working to tell stories that move audiences, you know, those Big Ideas I keep writing about here.

One of the inspiration points I always go to when I'm looking for that Big Idea is the George Carlin comedy bit “Advertising Lullaby.” If you're familiar with Carlin—and you should be—some of his “Seven Dirty Words” are there, so don't watch this at work with your volume up at 10. As a view who has probably watched it a thousand times, this is timeless and genius...

Here's the Full Transcript:

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee, free installation.

Free admission, free appraisal, free alterations,
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no hidden charges,
No down payment, no entry fee, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till December, and no parking.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

Shop by mail, order by phone.
Try it in your home, get one for your car.
All entries become our properties, employees not eligible,
Entry fees not refundable, local restrictions apply,
Void where prohibited except in Indiana.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
With our friendly, professional staff. Our courteous and
Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
Selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.

And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
Gourmet pocket flashlight.

And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary
Bonus gift: a classic deluxe custom designer
Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet leather style wallet.
With detachable keychain, and a pencil holder.
It's our way of saying thank you.

And if you're not completely satisfied, you pay nothing.
Simply return the unused portion for a full refund, no questions asked.
It's our way of saying thank you. Keep your free gift.

Actually, it's our way of saying 'Bend over just a little farther
And let us stick this big dick into your ass a little bit
Deeper.

The Tortillapocalypse is No Way to Treat a Media Guy

Okay, so where am I?

I'm dealing with Tace Bell's "Tortillapocalypse" and when you're writing late night, what could be worse than not having warm flour tortillas to ease your late night needs to push through your writing block?

Taco Bell is facing a tortilla shortage and it might be time to panic https://t.co/fBFCNEISNc pic.twitter.com/YXkibP1i42

— New York Post (@nypost) July 3, 2019

 

At first I thought I was an advertising ploy, but Taco Bell big wigs say this will impact profits and, I mean, Taco Bello never lies, amirite?

This Fourth of July was a welcome respite watching fireworks at Dodgers Stadium, which happens to be a longstanding Lloyd family tradition Another tradition is fighting the thousands of bad drivers trying to exit en masse from the Dodger Stadium parking lot while traffic control and whomever is helping them watch the anarchy in their lime green neon vests while we kill the environment idling on the asphalt trying to claim every inch of Elysian Park real estate. The entire process to exit was an excruciating one mile, 48-minute debacle.

The whole experienced harshed my mellow and put me into a funk as I mentally dived deeper into the spiral of writer's block that the postgame Independence Day fireworks was supposed to eradicate.

So there I was at two a.m. trying to get the words on the page and wound up going Jack Torrance once again trying to get words on a page and yet going insane with mindless, hypnotic gibberish on the page. Surely this type of work won't get me more Telly Awards (the latest arrival pictured here) to soothe my fragile ego that shiny trophies seem to embolden in one fell swoop at an awards ceremony. There is nothing better than flubbing your way through a speech with a gold or silver trophy in your hand and Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" song soundtracking your night. Nonetheless, my work resembled something like this:

I'm firmly convinced that if I wasn't in the business of putting words on paper that eventually turn into moving images on screen that I would be twenty pounds lighter which would be a welcome sight to my cardiologist, but I do so one of my challenges is crafting that Big Idea consistently. It's a burden I have embraced, but when the words fail, there's only one solution: Make a Run for the Border. That border is the all night drive thru at Taco Bell. Here's a classic TV spot from 1988.

I actually learned the secret of the Taco Bell Inspiration hour from an old colleague from the New York agency days. Scott Greene (* - names chanced to protect the guilty) was an incredible copywriter who got caught up in office politics after taking the private elevator of an XYZ Advertising Agency's big cheese one late night and the boss had to wait an extra six minutes for his ride and fired Scott on the spot. In the hopes to relieve his elevator PTSD one late night after his firing, he called me and asked me to meet him at a Midtown Taco Bell to talk him down from an impending bender.

So I arrived in the middle of the night and there was Scott in his smokers jacket over pajamas and slippers looking every bit of insane as it sounds. We sat down and ordered from their value menu/dollar menu or whatever it was called racking up thirty-six dollars of meat and cheese filled tortillas and Mountain Dew to keep him on the sobriety wagon.

He said he didn't want to become part of the "Wasteland of Forgotten Men" where old copywriters toil in writing coupons and obituaries late night at some newspaper with their graveyard crew. He told me all of the best Big Ideas can be found in the smooth future heartburn of a Taco Bell quesadilla with fire sauce. He swore by Taco Bell calling it the best Mexican food he ever ate. Being an Angeleno, aka the actual home of the best tacos int he world, I knew factually there is no such thing as "the best tacos in Manhattan." There are only two kinds of tacos in that island: adequate, and whatever passes as a little better than adequate. He seemed to agree with me, but he pointed out that was true, unless you're talking Taco Bell.

He then went on a rant/soliloquy detailing how fast food is unhealthy, how it preys on the poor by offering scientifically-engineered food products that are devoid of nutritional value, yet extremely high on emotional satisfaction. It was the emotional satisfaction that spurred Big Ideas he told me. All of the menu offerings at Taco Bell are extremely tasty, and best of all, cheap. Why spend fiver on groceries, he argued. What do you get for a fiver at the supermarket? A candy bar, a few oranges and a drink? Maybe? At Taco Bell, you can get a meal and hangout with the stoners who are wasting away.

"Taco Bell tacos are crunchy, crispy, meaty banana boats of spicy chemical goodness with the the Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos taco shell being the THE most important invention of this century," he boasted. "But the once you sink your mouth into any of the flour tortilla creation, there's an award waiting to be crafted and earned on the other side. These are must haves!"

He continued as to why Taco Bell delivers brilliance to the "Woke," "Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. None of these things were true. Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. There are lies everywhere, except Taco Bell. Taco Bell doesn't care about the fact they deliver heart attacks in a shell. All they want is to deliver you the ultimate food porn emotional satisfaction so you can get on with other satisfactions.

Since they share the same owner, in Manhattan, the Taco Bells and KFCs often share the same storefront. That equals a single "restaurant" that combines two famous brands into one mighty, delicious Frankenstein's monster of empty calories, the Holy Grail of Mexicano and Souther USA blended into some sort of B-movie two-headed snack shack.

And just like that over a constant hum of munching seven-layer burritos—yeah, that not six, not five, but seven unbelievable layers of blended emotional satisfaction—we sketched out a new resume of for Scott that netting him a directors job that guaranteed him access to private executive level elevators. That was also the genesis of my Big Idea hunting that netting me dozens of shiny gold statues.

So today when I drove to my Taco Bell (along the same route that was detailed in Tom Petty's famous "Free Falling" song about the very Valley I've called home since 1979) and they announced they were out of tortillas I was speechless. I was flummoxed to the point I didn't know what to order and as the cars started beeping in a strange karmic payback for all of the ear damage I inflicted on the Dodger Stadium crew I ordered a mountain of food I wasn't prepared for. I just sat in my car slackjawed wondering why the Tortillapocalypse choose to infect my neighborhood.

But you know what? After $14 of emotional satisfaction and a six a.m. five-mile walk to burn off the calories, the words flowed the second I sat down after a warm shower. By 10 a.m., the polished product was complete and emailed to the client. By one p.m., it was approved.

Taco Bell saves the day again...with or without tortillas.

*-Names are changed to protect the guilty.

------

Someone in your life, somebody has tried to rule you and told you that you would fail without them. Be inspired and conquer:

The Power of Christmas

Okay, so where am I?

I'm up late, late late, So many pressing projects...

• A college magazine to put to bed...
• My Los Angeles Kings Jewels From The Crown columns...
• Research on the next big idea for the next Clio Award...
• Planning the former Communist bloc holiday trip in two weeks...
• Christmas gift wrapping...

But then, I came across this from 2017:

All this fuss over the @Poundland @TwiningsTeaUK photo. clearly the elf is lifting up a heavy teabag that has fallen off a shelf trapping Barbie beneath. He should be praised for his actions. pic.twitter.com/Qk7fgVqpQf

— Mr. Moustache (@MartinJSnelling) December 21, 2017

Yes, this was a actual advertising campaign posted on Poundland's  social media accounts last year. Besides this photo featuring the famous Elf on the Shelf with a teabag dangling from his nether regions, there were supporting images of the elf in a hot tub with nude Barbies, an elf thrusting with a toothbrush, and the elf drawing a phallic-shaped cacti on an Etch-A-Sketch. For the innocents among us, you';; have to Google teabagging to see what it is. (SPOILER ALERT: NSFW.)

Yeah, I'm still speechless too.

Speaking of the Elf on the Shelf, are you tired of him? Jimmy Kimmel has the recipe to make Christmas great again.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. Why, you ask? Because Christmas is advertising and advertising is Christmas. I am far from a cynic, but those white, glimmering lights, the scent of newly cut conifers, those stop motion animated CBS television specials, remembering your friends and family with gifts, and even Santa Claus are pure capitalism. And, advertising is here to shine a light on it all. 

Inspiring behavior change is at the core of advertising. Creating campaigns that make people feel is the pipe dream that all of in the ad game aspire to. We devote late nights, weekends, and 60 hour work weeks laboring on the big idea to make it even bigger. More emotion. Extra heartfelt. Collective, Christmas is our case study. It's a success that makes all other successes envious. 

Besides great advertising, it also produces incredible comedy. Like this one from Saturday Night Live. In a parody of Glengarry Glen Ross, Winter's Breath (Alec Baldwin) is an elf sent by Santa to motivate elves (Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers) building toys for Christmas, reminding them to Always Be Cobbling.

In 2013, the Pew Research Center reported that four out of five non-Christians celebrate Christmas. That means someone, some now convinced a whole lot of people worldwide that Christmas was a lot more than the North Star, an immaculate birth, and three pour maidens without a proper dowry. Here's where I pop in and take credit for the success of Christmas on behalf of the advertising industry Kanye West-style. The ad industry has made Christmas into destination for togetherness, love and support. The pagan winter celebration has morphed into the shining example of the influence of marketing to spur affirmative moods and unite the world around us.

Of course, great advertising also comes out around the holidays. Each year, the flood of Christmas-themed commercials is the earliest indicator that the holiday season is upon us. I've got my favorites. I've also worked on some great campaigns. Here are some of the best holiday commercials of all time.

Coca-Cola 
“Catch”

Coca-Cola cornered the Christmas market decades ago with their holiday ads featuring Santa Claus. Shoot, Santa started shilling Coke even before he took up smoking. Now the holidays and that hourglass-shaped bottle go hand-in-hand.

AT&T 
"Reach Out and Touch Someone"

Back before FaceTime and when long distance was $2.49 a minute, grandpa could read bedtime stories.

Hershey’s Kisses
“Holiday Bells”

Imagine if a tree shaped outline of chocolate could play “Jingle Bells”...

Folgers Coffee
“Peter Comes Home”

Peter plays Santa and brews coffee. Simple and heartwarming.

John Lewis 
“Man on the Moon”

We don't get to see these here in the Stats, but across the pond, the ad folks over at John Lewis know how to make a Christmas commercial.

Campbell’s Soup 
“Snowman”

Before Olaf we had the Campbell’s Soup snowman..."M’m! M’m! Good!”

Legends

Okay, so where am I?

I'm up so so late brainstorming on a new Smokey the Bear campaign for our friends at the USDA Forest Service and I was thinking about my former Tarzana neighbor, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (née Meghan Markle), would be struggling to stay awake if I were the Queen of England and Meghan wanted to retire to bed. Apparently the Queen and I would get along very well at Buckingham Palace whipping out ad copy to late night champagne toasts. A boy can dream, right?

Queen Elizabeth II, legend.

(Uhhh, you do know who Smokey the Bear is, right?* If you don't scroll to the bottom and read up. Read, read, read.)

These late nights get me thinking about dedication and perseverance. I work in a profession where many of my colleagues show up every day, do what's asked and go home. Day in and day out. You would be surprised at the resistance you get you ask for a certain level of dedication. The labored response is something like this:

"Oh you want a press release written?"
"You want the framework of that media buy flushed out this week?"
"I can go hard hard this week if you need me to."

Yeah, not that many in the advertising workforce are working hard. In fact, maybe 2% of our industry are working at top speed. I'm talking the total, absolute commitment where you take it home with you...

...Live it...
...Dream it...
...Master it.

Pop-Tarts, legend.

Most everyone just gives you the minimum required. These people are the reason I've had to listen to motivation speeches from the account managers over the years.

You know the Man upstairs hands out the DNA, but if you get lucky and you have the gift that's not enough. Once you mix in the complete obsessive, compulsive behavior, then you're onto something special. But then the commitment to maintain this greatness might actually be harder that becoming great.

Every morning I wake up and read the trades and watch what the greats are doing. Hone your craft through research, mind exercises, and an relenting passion to keep climbing. Read, read, read. It's okay to be the modern day Sisyphus and let the rock roll back over you. Get up again and keep pushing.

(Uhhh, you do know who Sisyphus is, right?** If you don't scroll to the bottom and read up. Read, read, read.)

It's that extra effort that makes you great. That thing you read today will be a tiny seed that germinates into that big idea one day. The extra work is the one thing that will separate you from the pack. I know this to be fact, you should too.

The greats (and by no means am I calling myself "great") have a sickness. The sickness is called compulsion. If you're punching a clock, you'll be good, but never great. You have to be obsessed with it all. It's that simple.

You know what get's a bad rap?

"OBSESSIVE."

Jerry Seinfeld, legend.

When you say "obsessive", people say, "WHOA! That guy is obsessive." Obsessive, my friends is the difference between great and legendary.

I was on the New York Times website this morning (yes, read, read, read) and saw that Jerry Seinfeld was asked how long does it take for him to create a 90-minute comedy set. He said, "I don't know. I go to bed thinking about jokes. I wake up thinking about jokes. When I walk my dog I think about constructing jokes. There is not concept of time there."

(Uhhh, you do know who Jerry Seinfeld is, right?** Jerry Seinfeld is not some regular comic, he's a legend. $600 million net worth. Co-creator of a Top 10 television show of all time. Arguable the best stand-up act ever. There's a thousand of slap-happy comedians at the local stand-up place with a great set trying to make rent, but Seinfeld is legend. Yet I digress...)

In the New York Times article, he talks about writing a joke about a Pop-Tart. It took him two yearsto get is right. He talks about every comma and every syllable, and how he's never thrown away a joke. He keeps them written on yellow pads. Here's a quick excerpt about his Pop-Tart process:

"Two years is a long time to spend on something that means absolutely nothing. But that's what I do. In comedy you think of something that you think is funny and then you go from there. It's a fun thing to say...Pop...Tart. I like the first line to be funny right away. Then I talk about shredded wheat that's like wrapping your mouth around a wood chipper. You have breakfast and then you take two days off for the scars to heal so you speak again. Then I had to figure out how to end the thing and that's the hardest part if you have a long bit, the funniest part has to be at the end. It has to be. It can't be in the middle or in the end. 'It can't go stale, because it was never fresh," that took a long time. I know it sounds like nothing, and it is..."

But is was something, it was a joke: His craft.

And, he was obsessive about it.

Now, I'll go back to being obsessed with finding the next big idea for a legendary bear...

* - About Smokey the Bear:

For those of you not aware, created in 1944, the Smokey Bear Wildfire Prevention campaign is the longest-running public service advertising campaign in U.S. history, educating generations of

Smokey the Bear, legend.

Americans about their role in preventing wildfires. As one of the world's most recognizable characters, Smokey's image is protected by U.S. federal law and is administered by the USDA Forest Service, the National Association of State Foresters and the Ad Council. Despite the campaign's success over the years, wildfire prevention remains one of the most critical issues affecting our country. Smokey's message is as relevant and urgent today as it was in 1944.

Smokey’s original catchphrase was "Smokey Says – Care Will Prevent 9 out of 10 Forest Fires." In 1947, it became "Remember... Only YOU Can Prevent Forest Fires." In 2001, it was again updated to its current version of "Only You Can Prevent Wildfires" in response to a massive outbreak of wildfires in natural areas other than forests and to clarify that Smokey is promoting the prevention of unwanted and unplanned outdoor fires versus prescribed fires.

** - Who is Sisyphus?

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus, the cunning king of Corinth, was punished in Hades by having repeatedly to roll a huge stone up a hill only to have it roll down again as soon as he had brought it to

Sisyphus, legend.

the summit. This fate is related in Homer’s Odyssey, Book XI. In Homer’s Iliad, Book VI, Sisyphus, living at Ephyre (later Corinth), was the son of Aeolus (eponymous ancestor of the Aeolians) and the father of Glaucus. In post-Homeric times he was called the father of Odysseus through his seduction of Anticleia; cunning obviously provided the link between them. Sisyphus was the reputed founder of the Isthmian Games. Later legend related that when Death came to fetch him, Sisyphus chained him up so that no one died until Ares came to aid Death, and Sisyphus had to submit. In the meantime, Sisyphus had told his wife, Merope, not to perform the usual sacrifices and to leave his body unburied. Thus, when he reached the underworld he was permitted to return to punish her for the omission. Once back at home, he continued to live to a ripe old age before dying a second time.

Seinfeld's Pop-Tart Joke

Workspaces: My Office

Okay, so where am I?

Where else would I be but at the office, where I spend 60 hours of every non-vacation week. I am trying to get that inspiration for, not only that new campaign that's due on Friday, but also that mysterious new commercial campaign for Smokey the Bear. My cluttered office and desk isn't helping my forward thrust...

...or is it...?

From NBC's The Office:

Michael: "They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well I say that an empty desk means a..." 

Dwight: "Empty mind." 

Michael: "No, that's not... no, that's not what I was going to say."

On any given day, my office might be described as "antique store chic." On a bad one? A garage sale from the sixties.

The words, concepts and occasional dumpster fire springing from this laptop follow a similar pattern. This isn't Mad Men with their fancy set dressers with unlimited budgets, and there's no grandiose or calculated master decor scheme. Just a bunch of things that I like and some I have earned.

I have no interest in protracted exposure to junk that I can't stand, especially in the modern era where you you can bring in inspirational inducing items at the click of a button. I'm all about immersing myself around karma voodoo in the form of good luck juju and the eclectic aura of neat things. It's my hope that surrounding myself with these things that I'm subconsciously fostering work that will rub off on my team as well.

The Mercedes of Candy Jars
One of these mid-century marvels sits tall and proud on the corner of my desk on the fifth floor (easily the best collection of creative minds this side of those fancy boutique agencies up north in Silicon Valley). In lieu of constantly begging co-workers and staff to stay for meetings, this is the next best thing. The bait of sitting through another of my long-winded stories and analysis, I set out this bait in the form of Hershey's Kisses. My 14K gold rimmed jar holds a full gallon of these babies. Amazon loves my frequent orders (I talk a lot.)

Go
No office should ever be without some hockey stuff, so here's a kitschy bobblehead featuring Los Angeles Kings mascot Bailey with a simple handheld sign saying: "Go". Not only is the king of the jungle encouraging you to climb every mountain, but also he could be saying "get the hell out of my office, resulting in a true win-win.

The Book Pyramid
Reading is the backbone of knowledge. Sometimes when the creativity is blocked I read a paragraph or two to get it all following again. Think: Mental Ex-Lax. Also book #1, $7, and #9 were written by me and that's pretty cool when someone wants to challenge writing styles...so that's pretty cool.

Dear Mike:
Jeff Katzenberg missed me one day and (actually) penned a note to prove it. I feel like Sally Field* every time I read this. And, yes, that's an autographed 8x10 from Uncle Miltie.

National Order of the Cedar
Getting an award from a foreign government is never easy. But the work to earn one can be a fun one. In the mid- to late-2000s, I convinced the (some of the) world that the Middle East was a great place for American tourists (before the W., the Arab Spring and Hillary ruined it all) to visit on vacation. In true Lebanese hospitality, the municipality of Beirut awarded me this fancy medal as a thank you in 2006. Oh, I have stories...just pull up a chair and grab some Hershey's Kisses.

Vlad, The Russian Ghost
I tell people the Russian Ghost is there to talk to the real ghosts in my office. Truth be told, the ghost is a prop from the Disney Story when that had rad displays that harkened back to the New York City Windows of yesterday. The chapeau that sits atop Vlad is an authentic Soviet Officer's handcrafted at the end of the Communist era in my great grandparent's hometown of Odessa. Robert Mueller never called to investigate if Vlad was involved in the election hacking, so it didn't go as poorly as it could have. Either way, he's probably safer here channeling to the spirits that visit after dusk.

Nuts
Everyone wants to be a good dad and this jar of roasted and salted peanuts was a Father's Day gift, circa 2004. I try to trick myself into believing the label was typed by my son. I do know, however, that the peanuts on top were painted by him. Don't eat my nuts, they are at least 14 years old now.

The Oscar of Advertising
I saw a Clio Award on eBay for $149 for the opening bid. Mine was much more expensive: it cost me my first marriage.

Vintage Photography
I fancy myself as a photographer. To prove it, I have my original Kodak Instamatic and Brownie cameras.

The Voice of the Proletariat 
Even when you are part of management you have to connect with the people. I mean, everyone wants their voice heard. I picked up this Solidarity flag on a trip to Poland so the informed in the office know I believe in the people. It hangs in front of my Bourgeois first place golf trophy I won at some country club in 1999.

Judging Fish
This quotation alludes to a long-standing allegorical framework. It is inappropriate to judge an animal by focusing on a skill which the creature does not possess. A fish is specialized to swim superbly, and its ability to climb a tree is non-existent or rudimentary. In the workplace, I believe that you find what someone is good at and keep them in that lane until they want, and can handle more. The result? I've had the same team for nearly five years. Work happiness equals real happiness.

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* - Sally Field

See her speech for winning the Oscar® for Best Actress for her performance in "Places in the Heart" at the 57th Academy Awards® in 1985...skip to the 03:34 mark to the money quote.